Business Communication: Rewriting Documents - COMM502 Assignment

This assignment involves rewriting four business communication documents: an email, a letter, and two memos, each exhibiting weaknesses in style, format, or content. The first document is an email to an evening dinner cruise company, inquiring about facilities and availability for an employee award ceremony. The second document is a letter announcing the opening of a new hotel to regular customers. The third document is a memo from a customer complaining about poor service regarding photocopier repairs. The final document is a letter responding to a customer complaint about a faulty cloth dryer motor. The task requires identifying the weaknesses in each original document and rewriting them to adhere to best practices in business communication, ensuring clarity, professionalism, and effectiveness in conveying the intended message.

RUNNING HEAD: BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
0
Business Communication
Document
System 0032
[Pick the date]

Business Communication
1
Document: 1
To: [e-mail]
Cc:
Subject: Inviting Quotation
Dear Ma’am,
Greeting of the day!
I am writing this mail to enquire about the facilities provided by your company as I get to know
about your excellent services and facilities. We are planning an award ceremony for recognizing
our best employees and for that we are looking for the best facilities and venue on last week of
September. We have following requirements; space according to 40 people, a stage on board,
vegetarian food and music for adding some essence in the party.
I request you to send me a detailed quotation with the offers available that should include price,
facilities and services that your company can cater. I hope that the price range and offers could
satisfy our requirements. Kindly send me quotation as per the industry standard and get in touch
with me as soon as possible.
Looking forward for your response!
Yours Faithfully,
Sally McDonalds
Human Resource Assistant
Rocket Hardware

Business Communication
2
Document 2: Letter to customer for announcing a new hotel
Sender Address
Date:
Receiver Address
Subject:
Dear Customer,
We are excited to announce our respected customers like you the opening of the newest Duchess
Hotel in downtown Wellington. We present our new hotel in our hotel chain with a great
pleasure and satisfaction. Our Duchess Hotel is opened and based on your necessities and
keeping in your demand and luxury. We understand our customer’s requirement and keep in
perception their exhilaration and relish while designing our brand new hotel.
We provide you with a comfort you have not experienced before. This hotel is mainly designed
keeping in mind the business class people. We offer services such as late checkouts, business
center, fitness center and spa. Duchess Hotel is located next to the business district that is an
extra advantage to the business people.
So why not give a try to experience luxury at its best. Hope to see you at Duchess Hotel for your
next stay. Looking forward with great enthusiasm for your presence!
Thank You,
Yours Sincerely,
JB
John Blackmore
Customer Service Manager

Business Communication
3
Document 3:
To: Neil O’[e-mail]
Cc:
Subject: Complaint for poor services
Dear Sir,
I am writing this letter to explain about a bad experience with your company. I had an issue with
two photocopiers for that I registered a complaint (order no 3825). One of your service providers
came to fix them three days ago but the photocopiers are still not in working condition.
It is appalling to witness that a service provider of such a respected company lacks the skills to
repair. I am requesting you in a polite manner kindly send a competent service person with the
required skills to unjam or repair both the photocopiers. As per our service contract, which states
that photocopiers repair problems will be removed within three working days but it’s been a
week. I am dissatisfied and disappointed at the unresolved matter. I am doubtful whether I
should continue with your services or cancel our contract.
I hope you would take action on this matter and send a skilled person within two days. Otherwise
we have to look elsewhere for photocopier service provider.
Sincere Regards,
David Jamieson
Facilities Assistant
Work Associates

Business Communication
4
Document 4:
Sender Address
Date:
Ms. Julie Henderson
163 Signals Road
Auckland
Subject: Customer complaint regarding cloth dryer
Dear Henderson,
I am writing this letter in respond to your complaint regarding burnt out clothes dryer motor. We
want to clear you that warranty of the product includes following things; manufacturing defects
and improper installation. At the time of inspection we got to know that the dryer had no defect
and the machine was installed properly. This damage claimed by you is not covered under
warranty in that case we cannot replace the motor at no charge.
As we concerned for our customers, we can install a reconditioned motor at a cost of $99 or we
could bring a new motor at $189. We would charge you continuing service at $65 instead of
$130. Kindly go through the offer and let us know. Hope you will support and understand the
terms and conditions.
Yours Faithfully,
M Hatfield
Maria Hatfield
Customer Relation Officer