Communication Within Family Context

The purpose of this essay is to explore the Russian Doll Analogy in the context of communication within family, when there has been a breakdown in communication in between a child and a father, who is a victim of substance abuse.

Running Head: COMMUNICATION WITHIN FAMILY CONTEXT
COMMUNICATION WITHIN FAMILY CONTEXT
Name of the Student
Name of the University
Author Note

1COMMUNICATION WITHIN FAMILY CONTEXT
The purpose of this essay to explore the Russian Doll Analogy in the context of
Communication within Family, when there has been a breakdown in communication in
between a child and a father, who is a victim of substance abuse. I will mention all the ways
in which the situation was analyzed and measures were taken to improve communication,
step by step for betterment of the relationship, and thereby helping the mental wellbeing of
both the parties. The relationship referred to here, is the one in-between me and my father and
hence is of a personal nature. Communication management concepts will the explored as a
useful method of the betterment of personal communication and relatability, which is an
integral aspect of relationships, after correct assessment, for steering it on the desired path.
Kaye’s Russian Doll Analogy will be used for guidance in this reflective essay.
Kaye’s Russian Doll Analogy is used to represent the four layers of communication
competence for adult communication management model that contains: self, interpersonal,
system and competence (Lu, 2019). This model will be serving as an important reference
point for the determination of the current situation and position and for devising plans and
strategies for implementation at the correct juncture. I have realized how important the
insight is because without proper understanding of the situation, which was already of a
sensitive nature, I might have taken steps which might have caused further damage.
The issue began five years ago when my father started acting suspiciously distant,
from every other member of the family, including my mother and sister. I had a very healthy
childhood, my parents are realtors and they used to allocate a healthy amount of time towards
me and my sister post work. Vacations were normal and so were family dinners until one day
my father stopped being regular. He talked of some side business he had invested in and we
had presumed that it was keeping him busy, but later, soon after he stopped joining us at the
dinner table permanently, my parents would fight every night, as my mother presumed that it
wasn’t a business and was an affair. She demanded proof, which he provided with fake

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documents but suspicion remained. My relationship with my father kept deteriorating because
I watched my mother slip into depression and my sister was too young to be exposed to
issues, so her life was kept as normal as possible. My father was mostly absent minded during
conversations, he used to be asleep or furious uncannily, my mother went about her work as a
realtor but it was difficult for her because they were a team. It’s about six months later that
she found drugs in is closet that she could fit all the missing bits and pieces together. My
father’s abusive way of communicating, his inattentiveness, his sudden outbursts and his lack
interest along with pathological lying, with the money draining from his bank, all was
suddenly clear.
The ‘self’ model or the first doll demands an intrapersonal level of communication, so
it was the first thing I started with. Knowing and understanding one’s self will provide a solid
and sound foundation for the strategy, because it focuses on the aspect I am the most
comfortable with and the one I know the best (McColl & Law, 2013). I asked myself about
my feelings about the situation and then I examined my father from my point of view in
which I asked myself about the kind of relationship I would like to maintain with him, and
how I can work around the problems to help him recover and to help and bring back what we
share.
This trauma has left me with various kinds of mental issues like anxiety and fear
which stops me from investing in a relationship, and my mental state back then was worse as
I saw myself transforming into a recluse. Since my father was at the head of family decisions,
I was threatened and lost without a voice as I couldn’t dare question him at the helm of
affairs, because it went beyond my idea of appropriateness. I realized that I needed to speak
out against drug abuse according to the second doll of Kaye’s model because not only did it
harm our family, it was harming him (Bright et al., 2012). So I tried to convey my feelings to
him, which in the beginning solicited negative response, like anger and pain, but it helped

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give way to my father reconsidering his choices and realizing the effect it has on the people
around him. Drug users need special care as they turn a blind eye to the consequences
because of cravings and my attempts at times made me look like harmful, but it was giving
way to something better.
The next doll focuses on System. Through which, I tried to include my family into a
more peaceful way of sorting differences and focusing on a more positive and sure way of
communicating with my father. I along with my mother would try to counsel him at different
points during the day. We did our best to indulge in as many activities as possible to keep
him occupied. During his outbursts, we took special care so that we do not raise our voice or
end up traumatizing my father who used to get very defensive (De Waal, 2007). Little my
little, my sister was added in the mix when were completely sure that he was having a better
day, and this association helped him, understand the implications of his actions on the family.
Finally, I moved on to the fourth doll of competence, where my father finally agrees
to leave for rehab, which he successfully completed, and is now free from addictions. While
helping him, I worked on self-care as well to ensure that the trauma did not leave behind a lot
of negative feelings that could have accumulated on a larger scale.
I learnt that mental health care is a process that keeps on going, and I still try to help
myself at various levels through self counselling. This model demands both interpersonal and
intrapersonal counselling and I keep communicating with my father whenever possible. This
model has been adapted by my mother and my sister as well go grew up with anxiety because
of the abusive part of the process, back in those days. I make sure that my father remains
immersed in work and adapts better routines to feel better and remain free from addictions.
The Kaye’s Russian doll model in the beginning was challenging both on an
intrapersonal and interpersonal level because I struggled with gathering my thoughts and

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feeling about the situation and talking to my father was reducing me to the level of a nuisance
because he started viewing me as a threat but I learnt through this model that extra-
dimensional communication within this event helped us both reconcile hence, I try to keep
communications open with everyone and I implement this as soon as possible, unlike before,
whenever faced with situations that are both easy and difficult to tackle.
The struggle against drug abuse is not supposed to be easy and I had my fair share of
troubles but this model serves as the correct method of facing issues and for taking up correct
steps especially during situations which are sensitive in nature and any miscalculation on
anyone’s part could lead to the structural integrity of the family crumbling under pressure.

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Reference:
Bright, F. A., Boland, P., Rutherford, S. J., Kayes, N. M., & McPherson, K. M. (2012).
Implementing a client-centred approach in rehabilitation: an
autoethnography. Disability and Rehabilitation, 34(12), 997-1004.
De Waal, F. B. (2007). The ‘Russian doll ‘model of empathy and imitation. On being moved:
From mirror neurons to empathy, 35-48.
Lu, S. (2019). Concepts and Applications in Interpersonal Communication. Communication
in Organisations.
McColl, M. A., & Law, M. (2013). Interventions affecting self-care, productivity, and leisure
among adults: a scoping review. OTJR: occupation, participation and health, 33(2),
110-119.