Comparative Reading Response: Spirituality, Awakening, and Parenting

The essay explores the concepts of ego, spirituality, and mindfulness as presented by Eckhart Tolle and Lisa Miller. The author reflects on their own spiritual journey, describing how they have struggled with the ego and its tendency to identify with form, leading to suffering. Through prayer, meditation, and a daily practice of gratitude, acceptance, patience, and forgiveness, the author has been able to cultivate a sense of spirituality and connection to a Higher Power. This has led to a greater sense of purpose and meaning in life, as well as improved mental and physical health. The essay concludes by highlighting the importance of mindfulness and being present in the moment, rather than getting caught up in thoughts about the past or future.

Comparative reading response paper
The books I chose were A New Earth, Create A Better Life by Eckhart Tolle
and The Spiritual Child by Lisa Miller. The reason I chose “A New Earth,
Create A Better Life” was simple, I wanted the manual and insight into what
constitutes a better life. The version I was living was not a bad life, but an
empty one, it lacked meaning, purpose and a connective transcendent
relationship. I was seeking direction, motivation and mastery in the skill of self-
improvement.
I chose The Spiritual Child, The New Science on Parenting for Health and
Lifelong Thriving because I wanted to know how my parenting has impacted on
my children health and thriving, even though they are adults they are still my
children. I was aware that nurture and nature play significant roles and
precursors to social, educational, behavioural outcomes. Had I overlooked their
spiritual development in the pursuit of academic development and successes? I
wanted to self-reflect on this question. I was curious about the benefits and
power spirituality had on a child’s development.
A New Earth presented me with many contemplative challenges. To spiritually
benefit from reading it I was forced to examine myself. The book offered
explanations for the world-view and belief systems I held. Through reading it I
became aware of how I had been living and reacting to situations primarily from
the unconscious and not from a state of consciousness, awareness and living in
the present. “Until the new consciousness, which is awareness based, grows
and becomes more firmly established in the human psyche, temporary
regression to the egoic state of consciousness ( or rather unconsciousness ) can
easily occur. (p,xvi) The solution then is clearly to be aware of the ego because
awareness and ego cannot coexist, and to do that one has to awaken. “This
books main purpose is not to add new information or beliefs to your mind or to
try to convince you of anything, but to bring about a shift of consciousness, that
is to say, to waken.” (Tolle, 2005, p,6,7) Tolle claims that I can awaken to this
shift of consciousness, if I was ready. “An essential part of the awakening is the
recognition of the unawakened you, the ego as it thinks, speaks and acts, as well
as the recognition of the collectively conditioned mental processes that
perpetuate the unawakened state.” ( p,7)
I had begun the process of “awakening” prior to reading this book, I could not
name for it, but internally changes were stirring. There were incessant and

disturbing questions which became unrelenting and frequent in their demand for
answers. This created repercussions in all my relationships, my behaviour did
not comply to the version of me they knew. I was given the appellation of
crazy, rationalised by others as the result of the trauma I had experienced.
The last four years have been tumultuous, medically, relationally, spiritually
and psychologically. Circumstances in the last few years have capitulated me
into a crisis. Serious medical issues, three major surgeries, near death trauma,
weeks in hospital followed by months of home nursing care. Psychological
counselling to prepare me for the major surgery to follow in the new year,
breakdown of a long-term marriage and recently more surgery. These traumatic
life altering events, were the beginning of the awakening of my consciousness.
“A glimpse is enough to initiate the awakening process, which is irreversible.”
(Tolle, 2005, p,7)
The glimpse was confronting, it exposed an inauthentic and undeniably
confused mind in need of salving. I had to become present, aware and conscious
for reparation. I needed to authentically honour myself. All I had previously
identified with was no longer important. I had been living life per and for the
standards and values of others, and meeting the needs and wants of others at the
exclusion of mine. I was the perpetual child seeking approval from
disapproving parents with shifting and impossible goalposts and rigid values.
“The greatest achievement of humanity is not its works of art, science, or
technology, but in the recognition of its own dysfunction, its own madness”
(Tolle,2005, p,14) I agree with Tolle, my dysfunction, my own madness, doing
the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.
“That is why this book shows the main aspects of the ego and how they operate
in the individual as well as in the collective. This is important for two reason:
The first is that unless you know the basic mechanics behind the working of the
ego, you won’t recognise it, and it will trick you into identifying with it again
and again. This means it takes you over, an imposter pretending to be you.”
(Tolle, 2005,p,8)
The only way to do that was to awaken to consciousness and recognise the ego
for what was, the major obstacle in man’s spiritual happiness. Suffering is
created when the ego identifies completely with form. It does this either through
identification with 1) physical form, by gender, race, status or socio condition.

2) Feeling form, accumulated emotional pain. 3) Thoughts and judgements. The
book explains how to recognise the ego. “Another function of this book is to
help people recognise the ego within them whenever it tries to regain control
and obscure the arising awareness” ( Tolle, 2005, p, 260)
In psychological terms, the Freudian concept of ego is the middle layer of the
three-part personality: Superego, Ego, and Id. It's the conscious level that
operates without the moral controls of the critical Superego or the instincts and
desires of the Id and mediates between the two. It is the value I place on
myself, self-worth and self-esteem. Ego chains us to our fears, judgements and
desires. It is who I identify myself as. To challenge the ego I needed to function
with consciousness. When I operate from the higher level of consciousness, I
can control thought patterns, think long term, make best decisions, delay
impulse and instant gratification an accept “what is.” I can live in the “now”
instead of the reference of the past.
The Spiritual Child confirmed to me that inside me resides a childlike faith and
spiritual essence, long untended and neglected. Like an abandoned garden
which once was flourishing and productive, through lack the effort, care and
cultivation I had become spiritually fallow and impoverished. I had lost
connective dialogue and relationship with God/The Higher Power and was
spiritually and emotionally disorientated, overwhelmed and insecure.
“Spirituality is an inner sense of relationship to a higher power that is loving
and guiding. The word we give to this higher power might be God, nature,
spirit, the universe, the creator, or other words that represent a divine presence.
But the important point is that spirituality encompasses our relationship and
dialogue with this higher presence.” (Lisa Miller, p,25)
Spiritual connection to a Higher Power could have spared me from much stress,
anxiety, vice like grip of fear, a cauldron of anger and resentment, and the black
hole of despair and hopelessness that trapped the light and essence of me. I
would have been guarded against depression because I would have had a greater
sense of purpose outside of my accomplishment and life would have meaning
and purpose. These psychological conditions contribute to a diminished quality
of health via the mind/body connection and weakened immune and endocrine
system. “Specifically, research in medicine and psychology has found that
people with developed spirituality get sick less, are happier, and feel more
connected and less isolated. In the context of illness, people with a developed
spirituality show positive effects for resilience and healing. (Lisa Miller, p28) I
would not have sought approval and validation from those who could not
genuinely give it to me, for they themselves had been given none to give on. As
non-believers, they did not have the capacity to connect to God/Higher Power,

and had no bedrock of faith that would provide them refuge. Had I instead
sought God/The Higher Power for approval and validation I would not have
been denied, and never felt left abandoned.
Reading The Spiritual Child has led me back to the action of praying and
meditating daily. It has become the core of my spiritual hub, along with the
practises of gratitude, acceptance, patience and forgiveness. These blessings are
soul sustenance and connection to the Devine and Sacred. This has taken a
conscious effort in the initial stages and resisting temptation to capitulate to the
familiar spiritual slothfulness. I still struggle with the lump of wanting to hold
on instead of forgiving. Through prayer I am aware that forgiveness releases the
pollution of the past and advances me towards spiritual salvation and
restoration. Paradoxically though I have moved forward spiritually I have also
reverted and connected again to the spiritual child me. Together we now live in
a sacred and safe world where we are never abandoned, needy or alone. The
spiritual nourishment I receive through prayer helps me function optimally and
gives me courage to overcome the challenges of life. Fear has a limited and
healthier non-dominant space in my life now. In that respect psychology and
spiritually go hand in hand. Many psychological illnesses are fear based such as
anxiety disorders, phobias, panic attacks, OCD, PTSD and maladaptive fight or
flight stress response. Breathing techniques, teaching relaxation and certain
treatment therapies to deal with fear and anxiety are synonymous to
mindfulness, meditation and prayer to me now.
Both Tolle and Miller advocate the importance and value of practising
spiritually in daily life as prayer or mindfulness and being in the now and
present, “Infants and children are inherently mindful: present and totally alert to
life” (Miller, 2015, p, 114) “Presence is a state of inner spaciousness, when you
are present you ask: How do I respond to the needs of this situation, of this
moment?” (Tolle, 2005, p, 238) Meditation and prayer help us centre to the
present and now. Anxieties and traumas of the past fade and I am more involved
in the now and present and less invested in the story of how I arrived here.
Reference
“A New Earth, Create A Better Life.” (Eckhart Tolle,2005)
“The Spiritual Child, The New Science on Parenting for Health and
Lifelong Thriving” (Lisa Miller, 2015)