Effects of Emotional Reflection

Running Head: EMOTIONAL REFLECTION 1
Emotional Reflection
Name of Student
Name of Professor
Institution Affiliation
Date

EMOTIONAL REFLECTION 2
Introduction
This paper discusses the emotional reflection after applying stretch while
undergoing a difficult emotional situation. The article discusses the emotion of fear
which has been one of the feelings which have caused me problems for a long time. I
have been struggling with the fear of rejection, and this has affected my social and
relationship life. The fear of rejection made me lose my self-confidence and avoid
social gatherings. I applied the four steps of expansion while experiencing a situation
of fear, and I was to a great extent able to overcome the anxiety I experience while
approaching a girl or when I find myself in in front of people. The paper also contains
an emotional agility log.
Reflection
Social rejection is a harrowing experience, and it tends to elicit fear when a
person finds themselves in a situation where they might face rejection. I recently
experienced a lot of anxiety when approaching a girl who is my classmate, and I had a
crush on her for a long time. While paying attention to my emotional state of fear, I
experienced mixed and conflicting feelings of whether I should approach the girl or
not. I experienced a sense of hopelessness since the thought the girl would reject,
mock and humiliate me publicly since I had been through similar situations before.
While practising expansion, I noticed that I was in denial that I feared social rejection.
I realized that I used to convince myself that I was antisocial naturally and did not
need to be socially accepted. Still, deep inside me, I had a huge desire to be
appreciated and taken by people, especially of the opposite gender. When undergoing
expansion, I experienced deep thoughts about who I am and started identifying

EMOTIONAL REFLECTION 3
positive aspects about me which could improve my confidence and hence help me
overcome the fear of rejection (Kotsou, Leys & Fossion, 2018).
My experience relates to the Harris statement in that before accepting that I had a
fear of rejection, I underwent stress, and my self-confidence was greatly affected
(Tornquist & Miles, 2019). I struggled to interact with my peers as well as to get in
any relationship with girls. After I accepted that the emotion of fear was real, I was
able to work towards improving my self-confidence, and I took steps to overcome this
fear. I started focusing on my positive attributes and ignored the negative comments
which had led me to develop the fear of rejection. Initially, I experienced the
discomfort of because accepting that I had the fear was not easy.
Being in a healthy relationship with your emotions means accepting that you are
experiencing certain emotions and avoid suppressing the feelings. It is the ability to
manage emotions and feelings to avoid experiencing dirty discomfort (Chapman,
Rosenthal, Dixon-Gordon, Turner & Kuppens, 2017). Having a healthy relationship
with my feelings is critical for me since it enabled me to accept that I have a fear of
rejection, and this helped me to work towards overcoming this fear. By following the
stress steps, I was able to identify my points of strengths which helped me in
improving my self-confidence. This consequently helped me to gain more courage to
participate in social gatherings and also to enter into relationships with people of the
opposite gender.

EMOTIONAL REFLECTION 4
Emotional Agility Log
Emotional Agility Log
What was
the
situation?
Observe
What was
happening
inside me?
(body &
emotions)
Breathe
What
happened
next as I
opened my
awareness?
Create
space
What
happened as
I made room
for the
emotion?
Allow
How did I
let what’s
happening
“just be” as
it is?
Example:
I was part of
the school
soccer team
and while
playing with
the opposing
team, one of
their players
stepped on
me and
gravely
injured me. I
I felt a lot of
pain and the
anger was
boiling inside
my stomach.
My emotions
were directing
me to
physically hurt
the guy as a
form of
revenge.
Physical
tension was
building up.
I accepted
that
emotions
and did not
try to
suppress
them.
Some
argument
ensued and
the other
guy was
trying to
apologize
and explain
that he did
not intend to
hurt me. I
put all my
focus on
I allowed
the emotion
to settle.
The anger
reduced and
we
reconciled
and the
game
continued.

EMOTIONAL REFLECTION 5
thought that
he had done
so
intentionally
and I was
really
irritated.
anger.
Just before
the exams, I
was
experiencing
trouble at
home and this
was really
overwhelmin
g for me. I
was about to
sit for the
exams and I
was really
worried that I
would fail the
exam since I
had not
prepared
I panicked and
my heart rate
increased
tremendously.
I was very
anxious and
could not
concentrate.
I breathed
and
accepted
that these
emotions
were
actually
affecting
me. I did not
ignore the
emotions.
I realized
that the
anxiety and
the worry I
was
experiencin
g was
hindering
my
progress.
I calmed
down and
convinced
myself that
I would
prepare
enough for
the
remaining
duration. I
managed to
concentrate
and finished
revising on
time and
understood
most of the
concepts.

EMOTIONAL REFLECTION 6
adequately.
I had an
experience of
shame where
I tried to
answer a
question in
class and the
teacher
ridiculed me
because of my
accent and the
answer that I
gave was
wrong. My
classmates
laughed at me
and I felt very
ashamed and
embarrassed.
I felt that I
was not safe
because of the
gaze I
received from
the student. I
felt small and
thought that I
was useless. I
was also very
annoyed with
the teacher
since I did not
expect such
kind of
treatment.
My legs felt
weak and I
was feeling
like crying. I
was
experiencing
mixed
feelings of
shame and
self-pity. I
did not try
to resist the
feeling of
shame and
humiliation.
When I
created
space for the
emotions, I
experienced
a lot of
negative
energy and
hatred for
the teacher.
With time,
accepted the
emotion. I
spoke with
close
friends and
I was able
to embrace
who I am. I
managed to
ensure that
the
perceptions
of other
people
towards me
do not
affect me
negatively.

EMOTIONAL REFLECTION 7
References
Chapman, A. L., Rosenthal, M. Z., Dixon-Gordon, K. L., Turner, B. J., & Kuppens, P.
(2017). Borderline personality disorder and the effects of instructed emotional
avoidance or acceptance in daily life. Journal of personality disorders, 31(4),
483-502.
Kotsou, I., Leys, C., & Fossion, P. (2018). Acceptance alone is a better predictor of
psychopathology and well-being than emotional competence, emotion regulation
and mindfulness. Journal of affective disorders, 226, 142-145.
Tornquist, M., & Miles, E. (2019). Trait self‐control and beliefs about the utility of
emotions for initiatory and inhibitory self‐control. European Journal of Social
Psychology, 49(6), 1298-1312.