A Reflection on General Behaviour When We Break Social Norms

This reflection paper discusses the experience of breaking social norms related to behavior in a given society. The author reflects on breaking two social norms, eating with hands in a Chinese restaurant and kissing male friends on the cheek, and the reactions of others. The paper concludes with a philosophical and psychological note on the importance of informal groups and accepting differences in a global world.

Running Head: A REFLECTION ON GENERAL BEHAVIOUR WHEN WE BREAK SOCIAL NORMS

Running Head: A REFLECTION ON GENERAL BEHAVIOUR WHEN WE BREAK SOCIAL NORMS
Abstract
Social norms related to the behavior of an individual in a given society often acts as a veil
over the real personality of an individual. It is true that men are a social animal, however,
sometimes these social norms become a big burden on an individual and make him act in a
fake manner. This fake behavior can give rise to certain serious psychological complexes in
an individual. It can force him to think in a contrived fashion. This fact was some sort of
discovery for me when I broke some social norms in the recent past. In the present reflection
paper, I am summing up my experiences along with the worldly wisdom that I gained from
the exercise of breaking the social norms.

Running Head: A REFLECTION ON GENERAL BEHAVIOUR WHEN WE BREAK SOCIAL NORMS
Contents
The social norms that I broke and the surroundings..................................................................4
Eating with hands in a Chinese Restaurant............................................................................4
Kissing my male friends on Cheek.........................................................................................4
How did I feel when I received the attention of the others for the wrong reasons and what
were their reactions?..................................................................................................................5
The power of interpersonal Interactions....................................................................................5
References..................................................................................................................................7

Running Head: A REFLECTION ON GENERAL BEHAVIOUR WHEN WE BREAK SOCIAL NORMS
The social norms that I broke and the surroundings
Eating with hands in a Chinese Restaurant
I went into a Chinese restaurant with my friends and ordered Hakka Noodles. It was a group
of six, consisting of three girls and three boys. I deliberately picked a Chinese joint for
breaking a social norm because here I was breaking the norms of two societies. First were
Chinese people, who prefer to eat it with chop-sticks. The second was the Canadian people
who prefer forks instead of a stick.
I opted for a Chinese restaurant because here I was having a strong reason to retaliate to the
objections of the others. If a Canadian person is eating Hakka Noodle with forks then
according to the Chinese table manners, it is disrespect to their culinary art (Wang, 2015). It
also means that all my Canadian friends were also breaking a social norm which is equivalent
to a culture in a different country. Eating with hands in front of Canadian people is against
the table manners of Canada (Visser, 2015).
Kissing my male friends on Cheek
The laws of Canada are in compliance with human right laws when it comes to individuals
with different sexual orientation (Rayside, 2015). I was curious to know the fact that how
friends will react to it, will they consider me to be gay or they will consider it as another
prank that I am playing.

Running Head: A REFLECTION ON GENERAL BEHAVIOUR WHEN WE BREAK SOCIAL NORMS
How did I feel when I received the attention of the others for the wrong reasons and
what were their reactions?
The margin for fundamental attribution error was very high in both cases. When I started
eating with my hands, my female friends immediately told me that it is against the rules of
hygiene. They said that it is unhealthy. When I said that their forks can also carry bacteria
then they changed their stance, as the next argument they said that it looks clumsy. Then I
realized that it was a case of fake social identity (Rosenthai, 2014). Most of the people have
this perception that eating with forks ensures hygiene. However, when you challenge this
unreasonable believe, they will start coming up with other reasons. When I told them that
certain people living in Indian sub-continent prefer to eat with hands, they took my point
seriously. When I told it then they started thinking on different lines. In fact, one of my
friends joined me and started eating with hands. It was a case of the acceptance of a new
liberal social identity for them where they were adding a new logic into a social norm (Davis,
2014)
Similarly, when I kissed two of my friends on the cheek, I made it sure that I am doing it in
public places. Their reaction brought out their hidden traits in front of me. One of my friends
asked me why I am feeling overly sentimental? The other one asked that did I had a "truth
and dare" bet with someone. This taught me that gender-based behavior also carries a
tokenism with them. For instance, my second friend immediately connected my strange
behavior with the fact that at our age we often play truth & dare and it is common among us.
The power of Interpersonal Interactions

Running Head: A REFLECTION ON GENERAL BEHAVIOUR WHEN WE BREAK SOCIAL NORMS
I would like to conclude my experience on a philosophical and psychological note. On a
philosophical note, I want to say that social norms are good to imbibe a sense of control in an
individual however, after a point they can also become a burden on them. It can also give rise
to certain subcultures and the formation of these subcultures can become a problem for the
mainstay of society. The case of the Hippy culture is a poignant example. In the first step, a
radical subculture came in existence and later on it became a place of patronage for certain
crimes like doping and others (Klassen, 2016). At a personal level, I discovered that on the
scale of "people's perception" I have a social acceptance and I can consider that my personal
image projection in the society is of a normal person because most of my peers were
surprised when I broke a social norm.
Although it was a small stint that I had, however, I can make out two very important factors.
First, most of us are always looking forward to having some informal groups where we can
vent out our real feelings and avoid fake behaviors. Second, now when we are heading
towards a global world and cross-cultural conflicts are bound to happen, as a society we
should come up with a mindset where we can announce that “being different from someone”
never means that the other person is wrong and we are right.

Running Head: A REFLECTION ON GENERAL BEHAVIOUR WHEN WE BREAK SOCIAL NORMS
References
Davis, J. (2014). Social Capital and Economics: Social Values, Power, and Social Identity.
Abingdon: Routledge.
Klassen, M. (2016). Hippie, Inc: The Misunderstood Subculture That Changed the Way We
Live and Generated Billions of Dollars in the Proces. Six One Seven Books: Boston.
Rayside, D. (2015). Faith, Politics, and Sexual Diversity in Canada and the United States.
British Columbia: UBC Press.
Rosenthai, C. (2014). Fake Identity?: The Impostor Narrative in North American Culture.
New York: Campus Verlag.
Visser, M. (2015). The Rituals of Dinner: The Origins, Evolution, Eccentricities, and
Meaning of the table manners. New York City: Open Road Media.
Wang, E. (2015). Chopsticks. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.