Proofreading and Editing Assignment: Grammar and Sentence Improvement

This assignment focuses on proofreading and editing, covering various aspects of grammar and writing improvement. It includes questions on sentence correction, identifying factive verbs, and rewriting sentences for clarity and conciseness. The assignment presents different scenarios, such as correcting errors in memos, improving sentence structure, and refining career objectives. Students are tasked with applying their knowledge of grammar, punctuation, and style to identify and rectify errors, ensuring effective communication. The solutions provide examples of how to rewrite sentences, correct grammatical errors, and improve the overall flow and clarity of the writing. The assignment also includes examples of how to compose refusals using different strategies for explaining negative messages, and how to improve sentences from various contexts such as employee handbooks, letters, and articles. Overall, the assignment aims to enhance writing skills through practical application and detailed analysis.

Running Head: PROOFREADING AND EDITING MEMO AND SENTENCES
Proofreading and Editing Memo and Sentences
Name of the University:
Name of the Student:
Author Note:

1PROOFREADING AND EDITING MEMO AND SENTENCES
Question 1
Q: Epstein’s article shows how asbestos cases are going through the roof.
A: Epstein’s articles show the current influx of asbestos cases.
Q: This idea probably would not work well because the company would need incredible
increases in unit sales due to the low profit margin on the product.
A: The idea will not be executed due to the need of increase of unit sales with a low
margin of profit on the product.
Q: Union officials went ballistic about the proposed change from a defined benefit plan to
a defined contribution plan.
A: The change of a defined benefit plan to a defined contribution plan extracted angered
reaction from the union officials.
Question 2
SET I
(a) Has your order been lost?
The factive verb has presupposes that “order has been lost”.
(b) When was your order lost?
The factive verb was presupposes that “when was your order lost?”
(c) You claim that your order has been lost.
The factive verb claim presupposes that “the order has been lost”.

2PROOFREADING AND EDITING MEMO AND SENTENCES
(d) We regret that your order has been lost.
The factive verb regret presupposes that “the order has been lost”.
(e) If your order has been lost, please contact us.
The factive verb has been presupposes that in case the order is lost, “please contact us”.
SET II
(a) I happened to find the information that you requested about accounting software.
The factive verb happened presupposes that “the information that you requested about
accounting software.”
(b) I managed to find the information that you requested about accounting software.
The factive verb managed presupposes that “the information that you requested about
accounting software.”
(c) I neglected to find the information that you requested about accounting software.
The factive verb neglected presupposes that “the information that you requested about
accounting software.”
Question 3
(a) You will not receive the increase in credit you requested.
We will not send you the increase in your credit requested by you.
(b) You will not receive your printer for another 6 weeks.
We will not send you the printer before another 6 weeks.
(c) We want all expense sheets before June 30.

3PROOFREADING AND EDITING MEMO AND SENTENCES
You need to provide all expense sheets before June 30.
(d) When comparing HVT measurements, one must be extremely careful that all parameters
are exactly the same as those used before.
While comparing the HVT measurements, you should be extremely careful as all the
parameters are same as the previous one.
Question 4
As the assistant manager of personnel at ChemAg, Inc., you have received a resume and
a request for an interview from a chemical engineer named Karl Langley. Compose refusals
using two different strategies for explaining negative messages.
(a) Dear Karl,
We appreciate your involvement and interest in our organization. The cover letter
submitted by you had our interest piqued.
However, we are regretting to inform you we will not be able to offer the applied
position of chemical engineer for ChemAg, Inc. as your skill set does not match with
our requirements.
Yours Sincerely,
The Assistant Manager
ChemAg, Inc.

4PROOFREADING AND EDITING MEMO AND SENTENCES
(b) Dear Karl,
We are happy to inform you that you have shown interest in our organization.
However, we are regretting to inform you we will not be able to offer the applied
position of chemical engineer for ChemAg, Inc. as you have punctuality issues do not
confer to the requirements of the organization.
Yours Sincerely,
The Assistant Manager
ChemAg, Inc.
Question 5
1. FROM AN EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK: Wear your ID card while you are in the
building.
Can I enter the building without my ID card?
Every employee is supposed to wear his or her ID cards before entering the building.
It would be really great if you wear your ID card before entering the building.
2. FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE CAHMBER OF COMMERCE TO A LOCAL
BUSINESS EXECUTIVE: Speak at our meeting.
Could you speak at our next meeting?
You are invited to speak at our next meeting.
You are cordially invited to speak at our next meeting.
3. FROM A LETTER OF APPLICATION FOR A JOB: Call me at [phone]
after 5.00 p.m. to arrange an interview.

5PROOFREADING AND EDITING MEMO AND SENTENCES
You are requested to call me at [phone] after 5p.m. for scheduling an interview.
Can you call me after 5 p.m. at [phone] in order to arrange an interview?
It would be greatly appreciated if you could call me at [phone] after 5 p.m. for
arranging an interview.
Activity 3
1. Murray’s book provides a lot of useful information including: performance graphs,
helpful hints, company listings by performance, and general rules for successful
investing. The book contains ratings of over four hundred companies with detailed
information on the most important aspects of company performance.
A: Murray’s book provides a lot of useful information including performance graphs,
helpful hints, and company listings by performance along with general rules for
successful investing. The book contains ratings of over four hundred companies with
detailed information on the most important aspects of company performance.
2. The reactor consists of one of 6 inch diameter pipe that branches out to 21-eight foot
segments of four inch diameter pipe.
A: The reactor consists of one of a six-inch diameter pipe that branch out to twenty-
eight foot segments of four-inch diameter pipe.
3. CAREER OBJECTIVE: Desire entry level position with opportunity to contribute in
hazardous waste, process control or design group. Long term goal is to manage one of
these group.
A: CAREER OBJECTIVE: Desire entry-level position with opportunity to contribute
in hazardous waste, process control or design group. Long-term goal is to manage one
of these groups.

6PROOFREADING AND EDITING MEMO AND SENTENCES
4. Mackiewicz (2005) used 15 typefaces (six more professional fonts, 6 friendly fonts
and four equally-friendly and professional typefaces).
A: Mackiewicz (2005) used 15 typefaces (six more fonts that are professional, 6
friendly fonts and four equally friendly and professional typefaces).
5. If a new firm gets into trouble, the venture capitalist may have to replace managers,
(or even founding entrepreneurs) to get the company back on the road to success.
A: If a new firm gets into trouble, the venture capitalist will replace managers, (or
even founding entrepreneurs) to get the company back on the road to success.
6. The new store to store link allows the pharmacist to fill tourists and out of towners
prescriptions in a matter of minutes.
A: The new store-to-store link allows the pharmacist to fill tourists and out of town
people’s prescriptions in a matter of minutes.
7. With plant expansion a manufacturer may be able to use a tax exempt bond. A
disadvantage to the issuance of the bonds in the nonrenewal status of the debt, if the
interest rates go down the company cannot simply refinance the debt.
A: With plant expansion, a manufacturer may be able to use a tax-exempt bond. A
disadvantage to the issuance of the bonds in the nonrenewal status of the debt: If the
interest rates go down, the company cannot simply refinance the debt.
8. Well written users manuals help a first time user to learn the features of a package.
They also help the experienced user to look up seldom used features when needed.
A: Well-written users manuals help a first time user to learn the features of a package.
They also help the experienced user to look up seldom-used features when needed.

7PROOFREADING AND EDITING MEMO AND SENTENCES
9. An area of concern in the software industry, is the expected shortage of skilled
computer programmers and system’s analysts.
A: An area of concern in the software industry is the expected shortage of skilled
computer programmers and system’s analysts.
10. Although two thirds of all physical therapists continue to be employed by hospitals;
private clinics and nursing homes also employ, and draw upon the skills of physical
therapists.
A: Although two thirds of all physical therapists are employed by hospitals, private
clinics and nursing homes also employ them and draw upon the skills of physical
therapists.
11. The number of elderly is already large and with the baby boomer population moving
towards retirement there will be a large increase in the number of people who will be
faced with decisions about care for the elderly.
A: The number of elderly is already large and with the baby boomer population
moving towards retirement, there will be a large increase in the number of people
who will be faced with decisions about care for the elderly.
12. As competition has increased and firms have become mass producers of small
products some industries have moved away to the less complicated job order system.
A: As competition has increased and firms have become mass producers of small
products, some industries have moved away to the less complicated job order system.
13. Individual members, gang cliques, or entire gang organizations traffic in drugs,
commit shootings, assaults, robbery, extortion, and other felonies, and terrorize
neighborhoods.

8PROOFREADING AND EDITING MEMO AND SENTENCES
A: Individual members, gang cliques, or entire gang organizations traffic in drugs.
They also commit shootings, assaults, robbery, extortion, and other felonies, and
terrorize neighborhoods.
14. The observation and notes were mainly from the boys mother who relayed
information about her children to the case worker.
A: The observation and notes were mainly from the boy’s mother who relayed
information about her children to the caseworker.
15. In 2005 Chicago reached about 1800 violent crimes each month June through August,
a fifty percent increase over Dec. through Feb., which has attributed to the relatively
warm summer weather.
A: In 2005, Chicago reached about 1800 violent crimes each month - June through
August; a fifty percent increase over Dec. through Feb., which has attributed to the
relatively warm summer weather.
16. This case shows how an effectively early childhood program can change a child’s
behaviors, however without proper follow through the changes may not be
permanent.
A: This case shows how an effectively early childhood program can change a child’s
behaviors. However, without proper follow through, the changes may not be
permanent.
17. It would help the citizens perception of the police department if the police could
respond faster to public calls for service. The police department response time could
be lowered significantly if people wouldn’t wait an average of 17 minutes to call the
police for help after a crime has been committed. If the public had a better and more

9PROOFREADING AND EDITING MEMO AND SENTENCES
open relationship with the police department maybe they would call for help faster
which would result in more criminals being apprehended. Also if the departments
budget could be expanded to include about three more cars on patrol each day then
the police could be more visible to the people which would make them feel safer and
more protected.
A: It would help the citizens’ perception of the police department if the police could
respond faster to public calls for service. The response of the department time needs
to be lowered significantly if people would not wait an average of 17 minutes to call
the police for help after a crime has been committed. If the public had a better and
more open relationship with the police department maybe they would call for help
faster which would result in more criminals being apprehended. In addition, if the
department’s budget could be expanded to include about three more cars on patrol
each day, then the police could be more visible to the people. Then it would make
them feel safer and more protected.