Couple Therapy and Relationship Analysis

This assignment involves analyzing various aspects of couple therapy, including the five-factor model of personality, narrative therapy, and positive interventions. It also covers the Gottman method of relationship therapy, competencies for addressing gender and power, and emotional regulation in conflict discussions. The assignment provides a detailed analysis of these topics, making it an essential resource for students studying couple therapy and relationships.

Relationship Counselling
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION...........................................................................................................................3
PART A...........................................................................................................................................3
An overarching Systemic Theoretical perspective......................................................................3
Discussion of current state...........................................................................................................4
Development of their major issues .............................................................................................5
Distinguishing individual issues with couple issues....................................................................6
PART B............................................................................................................................................6
Systemic theory............................................................................................................................6
Family system therapy.................................................................................................................7
Couples’ therapy..........................................................................................................................8
Gottman Method..........................................................................................................................8
Narrative therapy.........................................................................................................................9
PART C............................................................................................................................................9
Critical analysis of the counsellor ..............................................................................................9
CONCLUSION .............................................................................................................................10
REFERENCE ................................................................................................................................12
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INTRODUCTION
Relationship counselling plays an important role in developing understanding over
different problems and situations. Couples who focus on relationship counselling are the people
who faces serious issues which cannot be handled at own level. Family system theory is known
as the form of psychotherapy which assist individuals to resolve their issues in context to their
family units in which different issues take place. Further, if couple is distressed and not able to
find and way to be out trouble from relationship. There are many good reasons due to which
couples should seek relationship counselling.
Effective relationship counselling help in resolving communication issues, premarital
counselling, sexual issues, blended families (Gurman, Lebow and Snyder, 2015). Couples’
therapy and counselling therapy can be used to support relationship problems and counselling.
The present report, is based on case study of husband and wife who are facing difficulty in
carrying out their relation with each other. The report will explain different types of theories,
intervention and therapies that can help in maintaining the relationship between husband and
wife. It will also describe the types of therapy that is used in improving relationship of couples.
PART A
An overarching Systemic Theoretical perspective
According to the given scenario, it is analysed that business man was in affair with last 9
months and only interested in sexual side of the affair and no deep feeling for another person.
However, he feels guilty for his affair and want to overcome with this problem. Therefore, he
involved himself in counselling session, to understand why he has the affair. His friends and
family have been very supportive and were trying hard to save their marriage.
Further, he is happy to attend counselling with his wife as he wants to mend the marriage.
He has also changed his phone number many times so that he can easily avoid the relationship
with another person. Doing this he thinks that he can gain trust of his wife. For doing this, he
wants to keep up the openness of communication which has been happening in last week. Due to
affair he feels hurt and criticize himself a lot. Moreover, he faced many ups and downs in 5 years
which are not disclosed with family. There was lack of effective communication between
husband and wife (Yoo, Bartle-Haring and Gangamma, 2014).
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On the other side, his wife was a victim of child sexual abuse. She had many therapists
over the years. Feels angry about the affair and more information has recently come to light that
the length of the affair was far longer than initially mentioned. She is still in love with her
husband and want to save her married life. They have children who are between 10 to 12 age
group and they are worried about divorce. Furthermore, her wife was concerned that husband has
lost interest in maintaining the property which they used to enjoy together. Due to affair of
husband, strong issue developed related to trust. She has lots of fear that her husband may not
keep any open communication and she think that affair can boosted her ego. This shows negative
thinking and emotions for husband in mind of wife (Malouff, Thorsteinsson and Rooke, 2010).
However, she feels that she is not attractive enough and therefore her husband started
affair with another woman. From the overall scenario it can be identified that both husband and
wife are facing some individual issues due to which their marriage life is getting affected. They
both want to save their relationship but trust issues are the major barrier between them. It was
observed that there is no open communication between couple due to which it becoming tough
for them regain the intimacy in the marriage life. It seems that her wife wants to save her
marriage life but she was not able to co-operate with her husband. It appears that she wants to
recover her relationship but phone reminds her of the affair as they had already changed the
number several times and still another woman contacts her husband. This is making her more
aggressive and defensive. The major reason behind saving relation is the children who are not
older enough to understand reality and separation.
Discussion of current state
At present, between couple, husband is feeling guilty and wants to overcome his mistake
and live happy life with family. Her wife was not able to trust on him due to which they are
facing more issues. From relationship perspective, after listening views and opinion of both
husband and wife it is identified that both want to be in relationship with each other. Husband is
feeling hurt from inside and used to Criticizes himself. To save relationship he has commenced
his own counselling sessions. Along with this he, is also ready to attend counselling session with
his wife because he wants to mend with the marriage. It shows behaviour of couple that is
affecting their entire relationship (Asen, 2018).
While, her wife does not want to leave marriage because of the children. Individual issues
in husband life was that he faced many ups and downs from last five years. He had not discussed
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with her wife, because of the stress which was raised due to affair. Further he feels guilty for the
same but recovering marriage life and regaining each other’s trust is not easy. At the same time
individual issues in life of wife was that she was victim of past child sexual abuse. She was an
independent woman but after hearing about husband affair she got depressed.
She used to take responsibility for everything happened and blamed herself just like her
mother used to do. Both husband and wife are still in love with each other and this is the only
one reason due to which they can recover their marriage life.
Development of their major issues
Throughout the therapeutic process, the therapist attempts to assist both the partners to
see their relationship in more objective manner (Burgess Moser and Tasca, 2016). It is important
to not blame each other or itself for all issues. Instead of doing this they can look at the situation
and circumstances which gave rise of relationship issues. Further, they can take benefit from
their relationship in different context. After collecting information from both sides, it appears
that lack of open communication was the major issue behind relationship conflicts which led to
chances of separation. It is important to change the way in which they behave with each other. It
means chances of physical, psychological and economic harm need to be avoided while
communicating with each other. Both husband and wife do not share emotional bond which is
another problem that created differences in relationship.
It is critically analyzed that one of the major issues which is identified in the relationship
is regular contact of person to her husband after changing phone number several times. Wife
become aggressive through listening her husband disclosing about the affair again and again due
to this reason was not able to build trust on him.
According to the view of author Kim, Prouty and Roberson, (2012), there are four pillars
of good relationship. First is having good verbal communication, second is similar objectives,
third is respect and trust for each other and fourth is practicing compromising. verbal
communication which is strong pillar and relationship depends on it. It includes successful
conveying or sharing ideas with each other in the relationship. Further, second pillar is to have
similar objectives. A family co-exist at the time when each family member wants to live
peacefully and happy. Similarities help in bringing together to different people. At the time
people work together toward the same goal it helps in living healthy life. Further, respect and
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trust for each other is also important in between couples. According to the view of Velleman,
Chowdhary & Patel, (2014), if there is no trust in between couples, then it is likely that they
cannot live together happy. Moreover, respect in this scenario shows the deep respect for
additional person which are provoked by their abilities, achievements and qualities.
The provided case, shows that there is not trust between couples and they avoid
communication with each other. To be in a relationship it is essential to follow the pattern and
aspects that can overcome issues and promote happy life (Asen, 2018). Due to gap in these all
aspects it was become difficult them to live together and happy. Further, counselor can help both
husband and wife to understand both individual issues and couple issues. The above described
entire case is support by different theories such as couple therapy, family system therapy , etc.
(Velleman, Chowdhary & Patel, 2014).
Distinguishing individual issues with couple issues
This is to differentiate among the issues that causes to an individual with that to the issues
that are being faced by the couples. It is especially in context to the present case of a couple in
which, the husband is dealing with some unrevealed past that are known getting disclosed by
creating a sense of disgrace in him. This stands to be an individual issue of the husband where
the wife is also known to have some major problems in the past and had dealt with sexual child
abuse and has attended many therapeutic sessions. She has also become very aggressive after
coming across the fact of extra marital affair of her husband and has lost her trust from him with
a willing approach towards saving her marriage. Although, on referring to the couple issues over
here, communication gap and a broken trust have been found to exist between this couple.
PART B
Systemic theory
Systemic therapy helps in addressing problem not only on the individual level as because
focus is on earlier form of therapy but also as people in relationship used to communicate with
each other so that problems can be solved on time (Asen, 2018). In the family there are many
opportunities to show feelings to each other and the way they can affected from it. Both husband
and wife can explore their individual roles and learn the way they can switch roles. Through the
therapeutic process, the therapist required to assist both the partners to see their relationship in
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more objective manner. The therapy used to begin at the time when both husband and wife are
ready to decide that they can work out their problems and leave together or they should move on.
Family system therapy
Family system therapy is known as the form of psychotherapy that assist individual to
resolve their problems in relation to their family units (Family Systems Therapy, 2018). There are
two interventions that can be appropriate to assist this couple whole incorporating are as follows:
Structural family therapy- it identifies the family relationship, behaviour and patterns in
order to evaluate the structure of family and sub systems. With this they identify the family
structure like parental or sibling sub system.
Improved communication: It is critically analysed that to be able to communicate is one
of the 3C’s of intimacy. In therapy focus is on helping the partners to communicate in an
effective manner (Burgess Moser and Tasca, 2016). The communication should not be abusive
and no partner should ridicule each other while expressing their true feeling. It is important for
both husband and wife to participate in counselling sessions so that they can learn about each
other problems which will improve their communication with each other. The therapist also
needs to provide on which type of communication is effective and which can cause more
conflict. It is important to avoid blaming each other or itself for all the issues. Instead of doing
this they can look what happens to them and reason of separation because it is a process
involving each other. Therapy for communication needs is known as common, specially it is
similar to the relationship therapy (Knudson‐Martin, Huenergardt & Wells, 2015). Issues which
is identified is related to the lack of open communication between couples.
Decrease emotional avoidance: Mostly when couples avoid expressing their personal
feeling then it leads to put themselves at greater risk of becoming emotionally distant and it can
lead to separation (Burgess Moser, & Tasca, 2016).). Further, effective couple therapy can help
clients to bring out emotions which can help in building trust on each other (Asen, 2018) . At the
time when partners failed to build strong communication in childhood with their parents they
mostly failed carry out in their adulthood (Gurman, Lebow and Snyder, 2015). From the
behaviourally based therapists, it is assumed that adults feel fear while expressing their true
feeling because in the past they did not received positive reinforcement. It is identified from the
scenario that there is no emotional relationship between both husband and wife due to which
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they are not able to share their problems with each other. Therapist ensures that both husband
and wife share their views with each other so that misunderstanding can be sorted.
Couples’ therapy
Based on the present case, it is critically analysed that couples’ therapy can be used to
focus on changing views of couple over own relationship: In the entire therapeutic process, the
therapist tries to help both the partners to see their relationship in more objective manner
(Gurman, Lebow & Snyder, 2015). Instead of doing this they can focus on different aspects. In
this therapist can start formulating a hypothesis related to different casual factors are in the play
that can provide the way couples can interact. The way all information is shared with couples
differently by therapist especially via theoretical orientation. Different therapist uses different
types of strategies but till they emphasise on alerting the way the relationship is understood by
the couple and both of them start looking at each other’s problem in positive manner (Dalgleish,
Johnson & Tasca, 2015).
Modifying dysfunctional behaviour: Therapist attempt to change the way that partners
look each other love and relationship problems. It means that in addition to helping them
improving their interaction, therapist can make sure that all their clients are not engaged in
actions which can cause harm to each other. It is important to not blame each other or itself for
all issues. Instead of doing this they can look at the situation and circumstances which gave rise
of relationship issues.
Changing the views of relationship: In the therapeutic process the role of therapist is to
assist both partners that they communicate with each other and see their relationship in an
objective manner. Instead of blaming each other then can focus on issues due to which all such
problems occur. Therapist used to collect information and used them in such a way that their
issues can be solved.
Gottman Method
In this therapist conduct interview with each partner by providing them questionnaire and
take their feedback. Then duration of therapy are decided by both. Afterwards interventions are
designed so that relationship can be strengthened in three areas that are friendship, conflict and
management.
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Narrative therapy
It is yet another theory of counselling by which the therapist in the current case can use to
separate the problems with a specific consideration of husband. Herein, both the partners will be
asked to narrate their issues to the therapist and the counsellor will require to view at it from
various possible angles (Cotter, 2009). This will in turn help in becoming dynamic in the
narrated story with an ability to modify the story in a hopeful direction.
On considering the present couple’s case, Gottam method is best applicable in this case. It
will help the therapist in taking feedback of both husband and wife so that problem is identified.
Moreover, it will help in identifying the interventions. Also, it will help in increasing respect
among them and developing an understanding of relationship. This therapy is chosen because it
gives helps in solving issues in effective way. Furthermore, many therapists uses this to solve
conflicts between couples.
PART C
Critical analysis of the counsellor
Counsellor role is to interact with both persons during the session. 6 sessions were
conducted by counsellor and at that time focus of therapist to change their views for each other
and ensure that they live together and happy.
In intervention counsellor has played significant role as all the session were successful.
This can be said by analysing the results. In the session therapist focused on connecting with
both persons in order to derive understanding their problems at individual. Asking frequently
what they are feeling about each other is also best way to know changes in their answers in
couple session. Further, husband also disclosed about his affair again which made his wife angry
but the things where is specified manner which helped the wife in understanding problems and
situation of husband. Counsellor also focused on concerns of wife, that she feels that her partner
has lost interest because according to her she is not attractive any more.
Counsellor has made sure that both couples started working together which help them to
remain closer with each other. They both need to do some work to stabilise the situation. The
strength of counsellor therapy was that he focused on involving couple in therapy at same time to
promote communication and discussion. The skills used will be related communication. It will
help in interacting frequently with each other. Further, safe place was provided in order to ensure
that both can converse with each other in effective manner. Counsellor tried that both can work
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on a situation which can help them to overcome the issues. One of the biggest strengths was open
communication between husband and wife which help in clearing all the doubts of wife.
However, there are some limitation of the therapy that children were involved in any one session.
Further, again an again disclosing of the affair by husband made his wife angry. Both on positive
and negative aspects were focused by counsellor in the session.
According to the view of author Kauffman & Silberman (2009), each session of the area
has provided relief from negative feeling and new insight about the things which are done.
Further it also upgraded the skill which may be the solution for a counsellor in respect to
improve relationship between both of them. In session, therapist ensured fair and consist
progress toward resolving the issues between them. Sometimes in the session wife started talking
with husband in aggressive manner that started making situation worst. Hence, in such situation
it was important for therapist to keep a tight rein on the way spouse communicate with each
other, so that converse can be proceeded with dignity and respect.
The aim of therapist was to start communication between both. They should start
interacting with each other so that an understanding of relationship can be developed. By this it
will be easy to gain trust and they will start respecting each other. Moreover, interventions
identified was removed which benefited in developing interest. In this way the therapy provided
to them was successful as couple started interacting frequently and solving their problems
mutually.
CONCLUSION
From the above report it is concluded that there are different types of therapy which can
be used by the counsellor to make improvement in couples’ relationship. There are various
reasons due to which problems arises between relationship. If these problems are not solved on
time, then it became tough to live together. However, with the help of relationship therapy and
couple therapy counsellor easily carried out sessions in which different questions were asked
from couple. Further it is concluded that use of therapy is based on types of issues individuals are
facing. Mostly when couples avoid expressing their personal feeling then it leads to put
themselves at greater risk of becoming emotionally distant and it can lead to separation Overall
outcome of the approach was to promote open communication, which was started between both
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husband and wife. It is important that in between husband wife both formal and informal
communication take place regularly which help in making relationship stronger.
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REFERENCE
Books and Journals
Asen, E. (2018). Systemic couple therapy and depression. Routledge.
Burgess Moser, M. & Tasca, G. A. (2016). Changes in relationship‐specific attachment in
emotionally focused couple therapy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 42(2), 231-
245.
Dalgleish,T, L., Johnson, S. M. & Tasca, G. A. (2015). Predicting change in marital satisfaction
throughout emotionally focused couple therapy. Journal of marital and family therapy,
41(3), 276-291.
Dimidjian, S. (2015). Integrative behavioral couple therapy. Clinical handbook of couple
therapy.
Gerson, J., Plagnol, A. C. & Corr, P. J. (2017). Passive and Active Facebook Use Measure
(PAUM): Validation and relationship to the Reinforcement Sensitivity
Theory. Personality and Individual Differences, 117, 81-90.
Gurman, A. S., Lebow, J. L. & Snyder, D. K. (Eds.). (2015). Clinical handbook of couple
therapy. Guilford Publications.
Kauffman, C., & Silberman, J. (2009). Finding and fostering the positive in relationships:
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531.
Kim, H., Prouty, A. M. & Roberson, P. N., (2012). Narrative therapy with intercultural couples:
A case study. Journal of Family Psychotherapy. 23(4). pp.273-286.
Knudson‐Martin, C., Huenergardt, D. & Wells, M. (2015). Competencies for addressing gender
and power in couple therapy: A socio emotional approach. Journal of Marital and
Family Therapy, 41(2), 205-220.
Lavner, J. A., Karney, B. R. & Bradbury, T. N., (2016). Does couples' communication predict
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Marriage and Family. 78(3). pp.680-694.
Malouff, J.M., Thorsteinsson, E.B., and Rooke, S.E., 2010. The five-factor model of personality
and relationship satisfaction of intimate partners: A meta-analysis. Journal of Research
in Personality, 44(1), pp.124-127
Vater, A. and Schröder‐Abé, M., 2015. Explaining the link between personality and relationship
satisfaction: Emotion regulation and interpersonal behaviour in conflict discussions. European
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Velleman, R., Chowdhary, N., & Patel, V. (2014). The PREMIUM Counselling Relationship
Manual.
Yoo, H., Bartle-Haring, S., Day, R.D. and Gangamma, R., 2014. Couple communication,
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Therapy, 40(4), pp.275-293.
Online
Cotter, L., 2009. Narrative Couples Therapy: The Power of Externalization. [Online]. Available
through: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/narrative-couples-therapy/
Family Systems Therapy. 2018 [Online]. Available through:
<https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/family-systems-therapy>
Framingham, J., 2018. Couples and Marriage Counselling. [Online]. Available through:
<https://psychcentral.com/lib/couples-counseling/>
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King, L. C., 2017. What is narrative therapy? [Online]. Available through:
<https://healthypsych.com/narrative-therapy/>
Lisitsa, E., 2013. An Introduction to the Gottman Method of Relationship Therapy. [Online].
Available through: https://www.gottman.com/blog/an-introduction-to-the-gottman-
method-of-relationship-therapy/
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