Generational and Cultural Differences in Family Relationships

This paper critically analyzes how generational and cultural differences can lead to barriers creation among relatives or family members like mother, father and siblings. It focuses on cultural differences such as women inferiority and language barrier based on the evidences highlighted in the story of Gary Engkent.

Sociology
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"Why My Mother Can't Speak English" by Gary Engkent investigates numerous contrasts
among mother and child. Discuss how generational and/or cultural differences can help to
create a barrier between family members.
Thesis statement
The purpose of this paper is to critically analyze how generational and cultural differences can
lead to barriers creation among relatives or family members like mother, father and siblings. It
focuses on cultural differences such as women inferiority and language barrier based on the
evidences highlighted in the story of Gary Engkent.
Introduction
Why my mom can't communicate in English is a short story composed by Garry Engkent, an
outsider from China. Mr. Engkent’s mom touched base in Canada with her significant other and
her child when she was forty years of age, and she didn't understand the need of learning English
until she rushed for acquiring Canadian citizenship for keeping her properties and maturity
benefits in Canada. Her significant other, from the earliest starting point, constrained her to work
in their own eatery kitchen in which she would never contact any Canadians (Engkent, 17).
What's more, her working time was incredibly long, and she nearly had no holiday occasion for
her very own motivation. Her husband interferes with her culture. He makes her work since the
culture depicts that women should only do house chores. He also mistreats her by asking her
work without rest hence creating family barriers. Thus the women roles also impound on how
family relates. Some cultures also make children grow in a way that separates their focus
nonfamily and their parents.

This short story indicates cultural differences from two different languages.
Older family members can be treated within a family in order to get a critical idea of the existing
predominant value in different cultures. Simultaneously, the larger political, economic and social
forces adversely impinge on the family stronghold culture. This is depicted when Gary's mom is
afraid of losing her home because the government can send her since she is not an official
Canadian citizen. She did not appear before the judge to take an oral meeting as required by the
law since that would mean that she learns English. This is because she felt that it would affect
her "Fan Gwei" ways which are her culture.
Mr. Engkent's mom lurks in darkness having being restricted to learn English language thus
causing daily miscommunication and untold level of relationships from being strongly built
Engkent,20 states that this particular unsung element of difficulty, communication levels across
generations comprise of various assumptions, frustrations, and misunderstanding among the
family.
It's evident that the general differences affect the style and direction of families.it impacts on the
cultural attributes like values, norms, and conformity of the family relationship. Garry's mom
was so distressed from perusing the "Dai Pao" which is the China paper. Garry seeing his mother
so vexed he revealed to her that he would assist her with interpreting. Engkent is thinking about
his mother and their way of life, he cherishes his mother and will take the necessary steps to
support her. The day came when Garry and his mother met the judge, Garry deciphered.
In his particular essay, Garry Engkent clarifies why his mom is can't speak English, despite the
fact that she has been living in North America for a long time. It is regular that she would, at
first, be unfit to communicate in English, yet it is normal that after some time she will get the

dialect (Engkent,22).Numerous outsiders take classes to enable them to gain proficiency with the
local language of the nation they are now in. At the point when this open door presents itself to
Engkent's mom, she is denied it, "A few of the husbands who have the good fortune to bring
their wives over to Canada hired a retired schoolteacher to teach a bit of English to their wives.
[Engkent's] father discouraged [his] mother from going to these once-a-week sessions" (168). ".
Despite the fact that she needs to learn and the resources are accessible she is unfit to do as such
on the grounds that she is a lady, put underneath a man in the Chinese culture. At the point when
ladies are allowed training, they face numerous deterrents en route. In school, it is the young men
that get more consideration. Not exclusively do, “boys get the best gyms [and] the best
equipment" (Engkent, 78).They are additionally more promptly conceded into designing, medical,
law, and business colleges. Ladies need to battle to get into these spaces. Additionally, when
they do figure out how to get into these college programs they are not generally invited. (Engkent,
76), obviously there is still discrimination of women ladies since they are considered to be worth
not as much as men. Since ladies are frequently put at the base of the social pyramid, their
education is disregarded. Women injustice proceeds tail them as they move out of the education
system and into the working environment. This aspect makes her husband look down upon her as
a result of this cultural prejudice regarding women discrimination. It eventually brings about
family relationships barriers in the social domain.
Initially, her husband impeded her from learning English is the goal cause. Above all else, her
husband was quite a selfish individual, and he didn't enable his significant other to learn English
for dread that she may abandon him. When she beseeched her husband to enable her to get
familiar with the language, he quickly disregarded her supplications and disheartened her from
heading off to those once seven days sessions. In the meantime, her better half offered to do the

interpretation for her whenever. Thus, she needed to rely on him for everything. ‘I could not go
anywhere by myself. He drove me to work and he drove me home'. Moreover, her better half
kept her distance from the English talking environment. He places her into the kitchen where no
one communicated in English but only Chinese. 'The kitchen is the wrong spot for you to learn
English. Everything you do is speak Chinese.'
Personal reflection
This story motivates me as a reader as it provides me with key intellectual knowledge on how to
deal with language barrier and appreciate the importance of family relationships. We should all
be pioneers of society awareness programs regarding stereotypical culture prejudices that affect
family members. In this way people will uphold an equal cultural stronghold that enhances
harmonious relationship among family members.
The society should learn to appreciate women in the social domain but allow women to acquire
similar rights (Engkent, 80). Stereotypical cultural ways should be abandoned in order to create a
good relationship in the family.

Works cited
Engkent, Garry. "Why my mother can't speak English." Many-Mouthed Birds: contemporary writing by
Chinese Canadians(1991).