Support and Resilience in Dealing with Loss and Grief: A Case Study of Oluwalemi

This case study explores the support available for Oluwalemi and their fiancé through social support networks and models of loss or grief. It also examines factors that enhance or inhibit resilience and coping skills.

Case study

Contents
Contents...........................................................................................................................................2
INTRODUCTION...........................................................................................................................1
MAIN BODY..................................................................................................................................1
What support might be available for Oluwalemi as well as their fiancé through social support
network or other with use of suitable model of loss or grief.......................................................1
Factors that either enhance or inhibit resilience of an individual and coping skills....................4
CONCLUSION................................................................................................................................7
REFERENCES................................................................................................................................8

INTRODUCTION
Personal resilience comprises of behaviours, thoughts as well as actions which promote
wellbeing along with mental health of an individual (Pahwa and Khan, 2022). While, significant
life events can be termed as any event which has long term impacts on life of a person. It is any
happening which changes life of a person completely. It gives strength to people required for day
to day practices and overcoming hardship. For resilient people, significant life events act as
support systems for working through complexities and overcoming challenges. The case study is
based on Oluwalemi who is 23 years old and living in London. Mother, Quennie of Oluwalemi
has died and because of COVID pandemic, Oluwalemi had not met with in person and they
spoke of phone had argument over money.
The case study addresses what support might be available for Oluwalemi as well as their
fiancé through social support network or other with use of suitable model of loss or grief. It also
highlights factors that either enhance or inhibit resilience of an individual along with coping
skills.
MAIN BODY
What support might be available for Oluwalemi as well as their fiancé through social support
network or other with use of suitable model of loss or grief.
Significance of life event
Individuals face several types of mix emotions while dealing with death of their close
ones. Families in this condition gone through various phases and sometimes even find it difficult
to accept for long time (Salini and Durand, 2020). Individuals feelings when someone close to
them passed away have include sentiments like grief, anger envy or guilt. First reaction of people
is generally shock as everyone know that life is uncertain but when their close one passed away
they find it difficult to fathom. Individuals often distance themselves from people around them
and certain changes started to take place in their behaviours, interest, lifestyle or priorities.
To support the case study of Oluwakemi, the theory taken is Elisabeth Kubler Ross
(1969) commonly known as five stages of grief. Grief may be termed as universal or natural
reaction to loss which is expressed by thoughts, behaviours and feelings. It can be caused by
hardship situations, relationships, death of loved one or abuse (Corr, 2022). As per the theory,
these five stages are embedded in individual’s consciousness as natural progression of emotions
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one experience after passing away of their close one. When Oluwakemi's mother died, he went
through various phases as he did not get the chance to meet her due to COVID 19. Also, when he
last spoke to her they had an argument over money which was not resolved before she passed
away. Thus, Oluwakemi went through many phases while dealing with loss and grief. According
to Elisabeth Kubler Ross (1969) highlights grief stages in her book on death and dying which
presents as a guide that outlines that every person's experiences of loss and grief is different. A
person goes through following stages in grief:
Denial- It is usually considered as temporary defence an individual use to think where
they thought that they feel fine or things are not happening in real. It is conscious or unconscious
thinking to not admit that something is true. In this stage, people tries to convince themselves
that that their loved one is not dead. In case of Oluwakemi, the death of her mother comes out as
a shock to him as he lived in London and have not met his mother for some months. He firstly
expressed the grief in form of denial.
Anger- When an individual realises that denial cannot continue, they enter in anger phase
where they feel like why the thing happened to them only or this is not fair. Anger took so much
of person's emotions that it became difficult for others to support or care them as they showed
feelings of rage and envy (Bacigalupi, 2022). Any individual who symbolises life and energy is
subject to projected hostility and enviousness. This act is supported by emotional or physical
attempts that blame others for the things happening to them. Anger is also considered as pain's
bodyguard as it shows how an individual expresses pain. In context to case study, Oluwakemi
anger build up as he did not get to meet her mother due to COVID. He felt strong emotion with
himself as his last talk with her mother was an argument. He felt guilty and helpless due to anger.
Bargaining- Third stage comprise of hope where an individual want to somehow
postpone or delay death of their loved one. Generally, negotiation for prolonged life is made in
exchange of re defined lifestyle. It involves statements like what if which expresses regrets about
what had done and what could have been done before a person's death. In context to case study,
Oluwakemi fiancé could not get the chance to meet Queenie. So Oluwakemi gone through
feelings like what if they both would have met Queenie before her death. He wanted to change
his last conversation on phone with his mother as its was an argument over money. He expresses
deep guilt of not resolving that argument with his mother.
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Depression- During this stage, an individual went in phase of depression where they their
sadness and grief take over on their daily life. The feeling of missing people who have passed
away have started to take place in this stage and because of that they become silent, refuse to talk
to others, deny every support and spend time crying and grieving about their loss. It has been
suggested by this theory that a person must take as much as they want to grieve and others do not
try to cheer them up in this stage (Kittleson, 2018). Sadness can hit individual at any time, it can
even happen after years of death of their close one. In context to case study, Oluwakemi left with
heavy heart when his mother passed away as he was unable to meet her for some months. He
slowly started to miss his mother and distanced himself from his fiancé and friends. He spent his
most time grieving about his loss and refuse to talk about his feelings.
Acceptance- This is the last stage in grief and loss phase where an individual start to
come in terms with mortality aspect of life of them or their close one (Doka, 2018). It is related
with accepting the new reality of their life after their loved one has gone. It is not end of grief, it
is simply accepting little moments of acceptance with time. It creates feeling of missing a person
who is dead with more love than pain. This phase provides basis for slowly healing from grief,
pain and sadness. In context of case study, Oluwakemi started to accept that his mother has
passed away and expresses more feelings like that the situation is going to be okay. He learned to
live with the loss and tries to start his normal life with his partner and friends. Oluwakemi started
to miss his mother with more love and slowly generates the feelings what could have been done
and tries to move forward with his new reality.
Another model to understand phases of grief are presented by Colin Murray Parkes in
1970 who is a British psychiatrist. The stages are mentioned below:
Shock and numbness- This phase comes right after loss of death of loved one. The
person who is grieving feels numb which is their self defence mechanism which facilitates them
to hold up emotionally immediately after loss (Marques and Berry, 2021). In context to case
study, Oluwakemi feels numb when he first heard about his mother's death. He was shocked as
he was not prepared for such a big loss.
Yearning and Searching- In this phase, the grieving person yearn for someone who
passed away to return to fill the emptiness created by their death. They started to search for ways
to ignore the grief they are feeling. In context to case study, Oluwakemi expresses anger, anxiety
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and mourning when he found out that his mother is dead. He longs for her mother and feels
confusion about how he to cope up the loss.
Disorganisation and Despair- The person who suffered loss feels the need to retreat and
disengage from others or from their daily routine (Stout and Love, 2018). They changed their
patterns of day to day life and strives to cut themselves from the social world. In context of case
study, Oluwakemi feels detached from his partner and friends as well as expresses feelings of
hopelessness and apathy.
Reorganisation and Recovery- It is the last stage where a grieving person starts to return
to state of normality after experiencing loss. This may result in reduced grieving and begins to
take interest in daily activities. In context to case study, Oluwakemi started his recovery period
by talking about his experiences to his fiancé and colleagues. His despair diminishes as
affirmative memories of her mother stared to take over.
Support available
Grief is a personal thing and every person deals with loss of lie of their close one
differently. But help of social support can improve well-being and health of an individual who
are feeling lonely and detached from their life after death of their loved one. In relevance to case
study, types of support which might be available to Oluwakemi and his fiancé through their
social network are his friends or colleagues who have known his relationship with his mother.
They can be a good listener to understand what they are going through. As grief can influence
persons in different ways, connecting with others to share their stories, journey of loss,
experiences as well as offers and obtain support can aid in grieving process (Cunsolo and Ellis,
2018). Various grief groups are available where people who have gone through same loss
expressed their feelings and talk about how they are coping with the loss to allow other people to
relate to make them feel that they are not alone in the world. Oluwakemi might look for
professional help to understand his mix emotions and varied feelings better.
Factors that either enhance or inhibit resilience of an individual and coping skills
The term resilience is defined as ability of a person to withstand adversity along with bounce
back from complex or significant life events (Linkov and Trump, 2019)s. It is a mental reservoir
of strength which guides individual to handle stress together with hardship. It is analysed that
resilient people have potential for drawing in the strength in order to cope addition to recover
from significant life events. Person resilience helps in becoming aware about situations,
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emotional reactions as well as behaviours of those that are nearby them. With awareness,
resilient people have potential for maintaining control on situation and thinking new ways so to
tackle life events. In context to the case study, Oluwalemi being resilient person have internal
locus of control. With this, the person is able to see themselves thoroughly addition to clearly.
Moreover, resilience helps Oluwalemi to see the outside world together with life events that they
faced in realistic manner. At the time of combating the hard life event or situation, having
potential for resilience assist in addressing situations as well as making concise decisions
concerned with ways to take them on.
All people experiences points in life where they go through events that are challenging
and difficult to face. In case with Oluwalemi, resilience is important as it enables in developing
mechanisms to protect against experiences which can be overwhelming and assist in maintaining
balance in lives during stressful live events. It also protects them from developing certain kinds
of health issues and complexities (Das and Et. Al., 2020). Despite of falling into despair or
hiding from life events, resilience helps Oluwalemi to face life’s difficulties head on. It is mental
resilience that can help Oluwalemi to adapt to uncertain life events, for example, death of
mother, arguments and so on, so to remain flexible along with calm during time of crisis.
Oluwalemi through using mental strength is able to solve life events, moving forward addition to
remain hopeful when facing setbacks. Also, learnt resilience is also effective for a person as it is
built over time in order to learn activation through experiences of life events. With learnt
resilience, an individual is able to learn, grow as well as develop mechanism to manage addition
to find new ways for drawing strengths that are requires in most crucial times.
For an individual, there are ample number of factors that contribute in enhancing
resilience. In context to the case study, mentioned are some of factors that enhance resilience
along with coping skills in Oluwalemi;
Positive relationships: When a person prioritise relationship, they are able to enhance
resilience. In case with Oluwalemi, connecting with empathetic addition to understanding others,
for example, fiancé and others, remind that Oluwalemi is not alone in midst of complex life
events. It enhances emphasis on finding trustworthy as well as compassionate that validate
feelings of a person that supports enhancement of resilience. The panic of death of mother,
COVID pandemic and other situations can lead to Oluwalemi to isolate themselves. It is
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significant for them to accept help along with support from fiancé who care about them to
enhance resilience and coping skills at great extent (Carstens, Koekemoer and Masenge, 2021).
Positive attitude to Fostering wellness: Self-care is a legitimate factor contributing in
building resilience and mental health of an individual. With promotion of positive lifestyle
factors comprising ample sleep, regular exercise, proper nutrition and hydration, Oluwalemi is
able to strengthen body for adapting stress addition to reduce toll of emotions, comprising
depression and so on. Moreover, practicing mindfulness is also part of fostering wellness for
enhancing coping abilities and resilience. When Oluwalemi mediate and pray on regular basis, it
ruminates positive aspects of life along with help in recalling things what they are grateful for
enhances resilience during complex life events.
Self-compassion: Mindful self-compassion teaches an individual to notice together with
emphasis on own feelings along with give practice to shift them (Fonseca, Madeira and Simoes,
2021). The choice of shifting response to feelings is essential in improving coping skill and
resilience. In case with Oluwalemi, self-compassion is a factor that enhance resilience to trauma
of death of mother and other life events. It improves pro-social together with supportive
relationship behaviours. It is not kicking ourselves in tough times, that prolongs reactions of
grief, delaying ability for getting back up along with creating more suffering, rather, it is
concerned with treating own as to treat others in distress with care support.
Coping mechanisms are tactics used by individual while facing stress or other life events
in order to manage painful or complex emotions. In case with Oluwalemi, emotion based coping
strategy and adaptative coping strategies are crucial coping mechanisms. Emotion based coping
strategy comprises reducing reactive emotions to stressor against reducing stressor itself (Young
and Et. Al., 2021). With this coping mechanisms, Oluwalemi is able to manage negative
reactions and tackle complexities that are facing. In aspect to emotion based coping strategy,
journaling is one of category with the help of which Oluwalemi can pour their emotions onto
blank page together with unload anxiety and depression from mind and heart. It can permit
people to keep record of reactions and find opportunities for emotional growth. Yoga is another
category related to emotional based coping strategy which allow an individual to express
emotions through body. For Oluwalemi, yoga can help in finding balance and building emotional
equilibrium that makes it easier for processing stressful emotions so to get balanced states in
significant life events. The third category of emotional based coping tactic is practicing thought
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awareness. It is analysed that resilient people do not let negative ideas or thoughts to derail
efforts. In contrary, they practice positive thinking on consistent manner. It reflects that when
Oluwalemi listen to the ways they talk to own at the time when things are going wrong and finds
ourselves in making statement which are personalised, correcting the thoughts in mind assist in
coping traumatic life events. With this, Oluwalemi is able to minimise addition to deal with
stressful events happening in life.
Adaptive coping strategies are crucial coping mechanisms or life enhancing ways so to
deal with stressors. In case with Oluwalemi, it is a healthier coping mechanism which support
life together with provide direction for dealing with complex life events. Avoiding anything that
are not positive is a category of adaptive coping strategy through which Oluwalemi is able to
neutral mindset wherein they can perceive as well as accept peaks of life. Another category of
adaptive coping strategy is confronting issues directly (Wang, Lu and Wang, 2019). With this, an
individual accepts the fact which exists and make attempts for dealing with them. Herein,
Oluwalemi with confronting issues directly with fiancé and others is able to improve the
relationship and feel sense of support.
CONCLUSION
From the above discussion, it is concluded that personal resilience and significant life events
gives an individual strength for processing practices and overcoming suffering. It protects people
from certain number of mental health conditions. The theory of Elisabeth Kubler Ross gives
insights for understanding emotional phases that are involved in process of change. When the
phases, such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression as well as acceptance are managed well, an
individual achieve support from others so to make the entire journey of life smooth and
successful. Factors that enhance resilience along with coping skills are positive relationships,
positive attitude to fostering wellness and self-compassion.
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REFERENCES
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