TLC 501 Assignment 2 Rubric and Response to Feedback

Download the rubric and response to feedback for TLC 501 Assignment 2. Learn how to improve your research essay and get a higher grade. Due date: 2 June.

TLC 501 Assignment 2
TLC 501 Assignment 2 Rubric and Response to Feedback(40%)
Name_______________________________________________ Student Number ________________
 Download this file and save it using a filename as follows:
First Name. Surname. Student Number. Assignment Number.Unit Name (TLC501)
e.g. Stephen Johnson 20181234 Assignment 2 TLC501
 Paste a copy of your research essay below on page 5 and your Response to Feedback below on page
6 of this booklet. Do not erase or change any section of this booklet. Simply add your own texts,
name and student number.
 Submit the booklet file with the new filename (as described above) to the LMS in the section
Assignment 2
Marking criteria
TLC 501 Assignment 2 – Revised Global Issues Research Paper and Written Response of Feedback
N
Below 15
 P
15-17.5
 C
18-20.5
 D/ HD
21-23.5/24 +

Content
Task
completion
The task is not
successfully completed,
e.g. a global issue is not
critically discussed.
Some aspects of the task
are successfully
completed.
The task is successfully
completed.
The task is very
successfully
completed.
Content
development
(Explanation of
issues)
There is much confusion
about the issue being
discussed.
The issue is clear, but the
details need to be
explained more clearly.
The issue is quite clearly
explained, but some
aspects are unclear or
unexplored.
The issue is stated,
described, and
clarified so that
understanding is clear.
Argument
development
The argument is not
coherently presented.
The argument is not so
coherently presented.
The argument as a whole
is quite coherently
presented.
The argument is very
coherently presented.
Critical
discussion of
issues
Contains very little
critical discussion (e.g.,
analysis, comparison,
synthesis, evaluation or
justification), and is
mostly descriptive.
Contains some critical
discussion (e.g., analysis,
comparison, synthesis,
evaluation or justification),
but is largely descriptive.
Contains some critical
discussion (e.g., analysis,
comparison, synthesis,
evaluation or justification),
and evaluation of different
perspectives.
Contains a solid
critical discussion in a
range of ways (e.g.,
analysis, comparison,
synthesis, evaluation
or justification),
including evaluation of
different perspectives.
Structure
Introduction There is no effective
introduction. There is no
recognisable thesis
statement.
The topic is introduced but
may not follow a general
to specific pattern. There
are a number of
unnecessary specific
points or arguments.
There is no thesis
statement/ or, if there is a
recognisable thesis
statement, it is either not
clear or overly simplistic.
The introduction follows a
general to specific pattern
to lead up to the thesis
statement and states the
purpose and scope. The
thesis statement states the
writer’s position and the
overall plan of the essay.
The introduction
clearly and logically
sets the scene, states
the purpose and
scope, and leads up to
the thesis statement
with no unnecessary
points or arguments.
The thesis statement
clearly states the
writer’s position and
takes into account the
complexities of the
issue.
Body The body paragraphs
lack topic sentences and
are not organised in any
logical way and/or do
not present well
supported arguments
Some or all the body
paragraphs contain topic
sentences, but the
paragraphs need to be
organised in a more logical
way, and/or do not
present well supported
arguments.
The body paragraphs
present different aspects
or perspectives on the
issue in an organized way
with clear topic sentences,
reasons and examples.
The body paragraphs
present different
aspects or
perspectives in a well-
organized way with
well-expressed topic
sentences, reasons
and examples.
Conclusion There is no conclusion or
the conclusion fails to
draw the ideas of the
essay together.
The conclusion does not
draw the main ideas
together, restate the
thesis or expands the
scope very well.
The conclusion draws the
main ideas together,
restates the thesis and
expands the scope well.
The conclusion draws
the main ideas
together, restates the
thesis and expands
the scope very well.
1

TLC 501 Assignment 2
Using sources
Referencing of
sources
(in-text, end-text)
Information from
sources is not well
paraphrased or
quoted. Sources
have been
insufficiently
acknowledged
through in-text and
end-text references
and/or too many
sources are used
without
acknowledgement.
Information from sources
is not well paraphrased or
quoted. Sources have been
insufficiently
acknowledged through in-
text and end-text
references.
Information from sources
is well paraphrased or
quoted and appropriate in-
text and end-text
references are provided
for many sources.
Information from
sources is very well
paraphrased or
quoted. Appropriate
in-text and end-text
references are
provided for most
sources.
Critical evaluation
of sources and
voice
Information is taken
from source(s)
without any
interpretation or
evaluation. The
writer’s voice is not
strong.
Information is taken from
source(s) with little
interpretation/evaluation.
Viewpoints of experts are
taken as fact, without
question. The writer’s
voice could be stronger.
Information is taken from
source(s) with some
interpretation /evaluation,
but not enough to develop
a coherent analysis. Not
enough questioning of
experts. The writer’s voice
is strong.
Information is taken
from source(s) with
enough
interpretation
/evaluation to develop
a coherent analysis or
synthesis.
Viewpoints of experts
are subject to
questioning. The
writer’s voice is very
strong.
Language use
Flow (coherence,
cohesion)
The text is difficult
to follow. Ideas
need to be
organised more
clearly and linked
together more with
transition signals
and other cohesive
devices.
The text needs to flow
more easily with more
clearly organised
paragraphs and more
frequent use of
appropriate transition
signals and other cohesive
devices.
Ideas are quite well
organised in paragraphs
and the use of transition
signals to improve flow of
the writing and other
cohesive devices is
evident.
Ideas are well linked
to each other through
clear organisation and
effective use of
transition signals and
other cohesive
devices.
Vocabulary Very few academic
and topic specific
terms are used.
Many words and
phrases are
inappropriate
because of their
meaning or their
informality.
Some academic words and
topic specific terms are
used. A number of words
and phrases are
inappropriate because of
their meaning or their
informality.
A range of academic words
and topic specific terms
are used. Most words are
used appropriately in
terms of their meaning
and formality.
A wide range of
academic vocabulary
and topic specific
terms are used
throughout the essay.
Appropriate
vocabulary is used
consistently to clearly
communicate subtle
nuances of meaning.
Sentence structure,
grammar and
punctuation
There are major
problems with
sentence structure,
grammar,
punctuation,
spelling and/or
spacing which make
the meaning of the
writing difficult to
follow.
There are some problems
with sentence structure,
grammar and punctuation,
spelling and/or spacing
which may interfere with
the meaning of some
sentences. However, the
meaning of most
sentences is relatively
clear.
The essay is generally
written in well-structured,
well-punctuated
sentences, and there is
some sentence variety.
Minor issues with
grammar, punctuation,
spelling and/or spacing do
not interfere with the
meaning of the writing.
The essay is written in
well-structured, well-
punctuated sentences,
and there is sentence
variety. There are
very few issues with
grammar,
punctuation, spelling
and/or spacing.
Grade /30
Comments
2

TLC 501 Assignment 2
Written Response to Feedback
N
Below 5
 P
5 – 5.5
 C
6 – 6.5
 D/HD
7 – 7.5/8+

Context and Purpose for Writing
Task completion.
(Reflection on
feedback from
tutor, Studiosity,
and other possible
sources).
Appropriate use of
personal and
academic language
style
The task is not
successfully
completed.
The reflection is
written with language
and content that is
not appropriate for
personal reflection in
an academic context.
Some aspects of the task
are successfully
completed. The
reflection is written with
language and content
that is sometimes not
appropriate for personal
reflection or
communication in an
academic context.
The task is fully completed
in terms of both content,
organisation and language.
The reflection is written
with language and content
that is appropriate for
both personal reflection
and communication in an
academic context.
The task is very
successfully
completed.
The reflection is
written with language
and content that is
very appropriate for
both personal
reflection and
communication in an
academic context.
Content development
Explanation of key
changes made
Key changes made to
the essay, based on
feedback, are not
explained in a clear,
concise and direct
manner.
Key changes made to the
essay, based on
feedback, are explained
but not so clearly,
concisely or directly.
Key changes made to the
essay, based on feedback,
are explained in a clear,
concise and direct manner.
Key changes made to
the essay are explained
comprehensively,
delivering all relevant
information necessary
for full understanding.
Reflection on self as
a writer of
academic texts
The response
suggests no or very
little critical reflection
on personal strengths
and weaknesses,
including reasons for
these.
The response suggests
little critical reflection on
personal strengths and
weaknesses, including
reasons for these (e.g.
cultural contexts,
previous experience,
amount of effort, and
time constraints).
The response includes
some critical reflection on
personal strengths and
weaknesses, including
reasons for these (e.g.
cultural contexts, previous
experience, amount of
effort, and time
constraints).
The response includes
detailed critical
reflection on personal
strengths and
weaknesses, including
reasons for these (e.g.
cultural contexts,
previous experience,
amount of effort, and
time constraints).
Reflection on
aspects of academic
writing
The response
suggests that no
understanding of key
aspects of academic
writing have informed
changes made.
The response suggests
that understanding of
some key aspects of
academic writing have
informed changes made.
The response suggests that
understanding of many
key aspects of academic
writing have informed
changes made.
The response suggests
good understanding of
many key aspects of
academic writing
informing changes
made.
Strategies for self-
improvement as a
writer of academic
texts
The response includes
very little self-
reflection and very
few or no strategies
to improve.
The response includes
little self-reflection only a
limited number of
strategies to improve
(including the use of
feedback as a tool for
future improvement).
The response includes
some self-reflection and a
number of strategies to
improve (including the use
of feedback as a tool for
future improvement).
The response includes
substantial self-
reflection and a
comprehensive set of
strategies to improve
(including the use of
feedback as a tool for
future improvement).
Language use
Flow (coherence,
cohesion)
The text is difficult to
follow. Ideas need to
be organised more
clearly and linked
together more with
transition signals and
other cohesive
devices.
The text needs to flow
more easily with better
organisation and more
frequent use of
appropriate transition
signals and other
cohesive devices.
Ideas are relatively well
organised, and the use of
transition signals and
other cohesive devices
improves the flow of the
writing.
Ideas are well linked to
each other through
clear organisation and
effective use of
transition signals and
other cohesive devices.
Sentence structure,
grammar and
punctuation
There are major
problems with
sentence structure,
grammar and
punctuation, which
make the meaning of
the writing difficult to
follow.
There are some
problems with sentence
structure, grammar and
punctuation, which may
interfere with the
meaning of some
sentences. However, the
meaning of most
sentences is relatively
clear.
The essay is generally
written in well-structured,
well-punctuated
sentences, and there is
some sentence variety.
Minor grammatical errors
in the assignment do not
interfere with the meaning
of the writing.
The essay is written in
well-structured, well-
punctuated sentences,
and there is sentence
variety. There are very
few grammatical errors
in the assignment.
Overall Comment- Response to Feedback: Response to Feedback Grade: /10
Assignment total:
Part 1 /30 + Part 2 /10 Total /40
3

TLC 501 Assignment 2
Assignment 2: Revised Research Essay and Written Response to Feedback Details
Assessment value: 40% Due date 11.00 am, Sunday 2 June, 11am
Length: Total length 2000 words (plus or minus 10%) not including the reference list.
This final assessment is made up of Part 1 and Part 2 as described below.
Part 1 – Revised Research Essay
Value: 30%
Length: 1500 words (excluding the end-text references)
Based on the same research question as Assignment 1 (Develop and present an argument about a global issue or
challenge that is impacting on development in your country), write a longer version of your first assignment that
demonstrates clear improvement and a direct response to the feedback you received for your first assignment.
Part 2 –Response to Feedback
Value: 10% Length: 500 words
Format You can present your Response to Feedback in any one of the following formats:
 an essay,
 a table,
 a set of paragraphs with sub-headings,
 any other format that your tutor agrees to.
Write a 500-word text reflecting on the process of writing Assignment 2 and address the feedback you
received during this process from your tutor, Studiosity, your peers, and possibly other sources.
This response should address in a clear, concise and direct manner, how you reacted and responded to
feedback which identified key areas for improvement in your writing. Focus on your tutor’s feedback from
the first assignment submission as well as on subsequent feedback from your tutor, Studiosity, and other
sources. The response should include:
 personal reflections on the processes of researching, thinking, organising, and writing Assignment 2,
 the challenges you encountered,
 the issues identified by the feedback you received,
 the strategies you used to overcome these challenges and issues,
Submissions will be assessed according to the assessment mark sheet provided above.
Style Guide
o The assignment is typed on A4 size paper
o The assignment is in 12-point font
o References are provided in Chicago, APA or another author-date style
o The assignment has ‘normal’ (2.54 cms) margins on both sides
o The lines in the assignment are 1.5 spaced
And finally…
 Write your name and student number on the first page of this booklet, in the file name of this
document and on the page below.
 Make sure you include your reference list at the end of your essay
 Paste Part 2 the Written Response to Feedback after the reference list of Part 1.
 You do not need a cover page since your texts will be cut and pasted into this booklet (on the pages
below)
4

TLC 501 Assignment 2
Name Student Number
Part 1
Introduction
The World Economic Forum (2015) has highlighted the water crisis as a global risk that impacts on the
society. Pakistan is a developing country that is currently facing acute water shortage (Amin, Kroeze and
Strokal, 2017). The acute water crisis in Pakistan has affected agriculture and sighing which are the two
main sources of employment in the country (The Millennium Project, 2017). Some causes of water
population are dumping industrial wastes into nearby water bodies without treating them and direct
infestation of human excreta into water bodies. The problem of water shortage and also pollution, both
are serious and huge threats to the sixth populous country, Pakistan (Nabi et al., 2019).
Thesis Statement
The current thesis identifies the challenge of water pollution in Pakistan and the causes and impacts
thereof.
Topic Sentence
1. Topic Sentence 1: The main issue that is dominant in the 21st century is the quality of water. Mostly we
review on the aquatic impurities, impact on human health and steps to fix the pollution of freshwater
resources in Pakistan. The importance is given on chemical pollution, especially inorganic and organic
micropollutants that include toxic elements and synthetic organic chemicals (Azizullah, Khattak, Richter
and Häder, 2011). The importance of water-borne diseases and the need for good sanitation. The review
emphasizes the different scientific advances to deal with different pollutants. It is placed along with the
various scales of global water pollution. The global water systems have been affected by Persistent organic
pollutants for more than five years. At that time geogenic pollutants, mining operations as well as the
hazardous waste sites became an important source of water pollution. Sources like agricultural chemicals
and the wastewater source put short term effects on different scales.
2. Topic Sentence 2: About 60 million people are the extreme threat of being affected by high arsenic
content in drinking water which will be the huge mass poising in history. Arsenic can cause various skin
hazards such as cancer, skin lesions, and cardiovascular disease, diabetes mellitus and various other
diseases. Sadly no epidemiological data related to arsenic poisoning, alternate drinking water are near to
people who are at risk.
5

TLC 501 Assignment 2
Considering the deaths due to drought which was almost 1832 children during last 4 years, dried lakes,
rivers improper storage, rise in population as a change in climate draws grave attention (Azizullah et al.,
2011). Problems like deficit of national water policy, government’s interest, various conflicts between
Indian and Pakistan, deforestation, improper water supply affects the agriculture as well as the
biodiversity. Wildlife has already been endangered which later can result in huge migration because of the
drought situation. Suggestions have been made that can serve the people of Pakistan to avoid a deficit of
water and pollution, ecological maintenance, developments ion agriculture and other solutions.
3. Topic Sentence 3: WHO identified human activities leads to degradation in water quality. Around 252
million years ago due to the increase in carbon dioxide level resulted in the change of ocean current
changes, rise in the level of hydrogen sulfate( H2S), the depletion of an ozone level destroyed 97% of life
when the Permian extinction (Daud et al, 2017). The problem can arise once again if we fail to reduce the
amount of greenhouse gas emissions and decrease its volume in the atmosphere immediately. Report of
NASA, the warmest year started occurring since 2001.
Paris Agreement that was made with 197 other parties officially became active in the year 2016
emphasized on the efforts to control the rise in temperature to 1.50C above the pre-industrial level. It is
true that the increase in carbon dioxide emissions has reduced in the past three years since the U.S and
China shifted from coal but heating of Earth surface continues. Since the U.S administration withdrew itself
from the agreement, other countries can make efforts to meet the target.
NASA mentioned that global temperature rose to 0.940C since 1880, also the sea levels rose 8-9 inches
within the same period. The US Climate Reports of 2017 mentioned rise of 2.8-4.8 0C by 2100. Every year
the sea level is increasing by 3.4mm and the ocean acidity is presumed to rise by 100-150% by the
century’s end. The GHG growth will need unparalleled global efforts as the current 7.5 world population
might increase by 2 million by 2050 and the global economy can expand during the same time.
Even though the amount of CO2 which is almost 450 ppm is acceptable, others say that 350 ppm as we
have seen the huge effect with 410ppm. Technically 450 ppm cannot be mentioned as sustainable. Not
only the GHG emission is required to reduce but the volume in the atmosphere is crucial to lessen as well.
The pact made by Paris on Climate Change and the country pledges needed to be forced in various ways.
The world should understand that Earth doesn't have unlimited resources, Earth should be forced to
different management systems; the pattern of consumption as well as waste management system needs
change. Environmental sustainability is a top class priority.
4.Topic Sentence 4: Sound National Water Policy: Proper National Water Policy, as well as management, is
important to preserve water resources, reduction of drinking water pollution, and proper sewerage
6

TLC 501 Assignment 2
facilities. It may seem too pricy, but due to over concentration of arsenic (50μg/L), fecal, bacterial and
various contaminations, it is better to choose packaged drinking water. Polluted water can be put to use in
household activities which will bring public attention to pollution as well as preservation. It is a necessary
requirement, but it is necessary to reduce their cost in accordance with the population displacement as
well as a threat to the existing ecosystem (Remoundou and Koundouri, 2009). Therefore small dams those
have lesser cost must be given importance for the purpose of drinking, agriculture as well as various other
purposes. It will preserve the aquatic biodiversity and animals, especially during seasonal migration. In
place of other dams which can be structured on the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province which is full of aquatic
and terrestrial biodiversity which can help in conservation as well as supporting habitat and protection
from floods.
.
Conclusion
To sum up things, it is important for the government to pay serious attention towards the issue of water
conservation and reduction of water pollution serious issues can be avoided in the form of drought,
scarcity, internal migration and also the biodiversity loss. Pakistan has the benefit of free water supply as a
result zero attention was given by the people in order to conserve it. Awareness of water conservation is
required through the medium of print and electronic media. Since it is practiced in most of the countries, it
is workable to introduce the mechanism of water pricing in order to reduce its huge wastage in commercial
as well as household level.
7

TLC 501 Assignment 2
References
Amin, M., Kroeze, C. and Strokal, M. (2017). Human waste: An underestimated source of nutrient pollution
in coastal seas of Bangladesh, India and Pakistan. Marine Pollution Bulletin, 118(1-2), pp.131-140.
Azizullah, A., Khattak, M., Richter, P. and Häder, D. (2011). Water pollution in Pakistan and its impact on
public health — A review. Environment International, 37(2), pp.479-497.
Uncclearn.org. (2019). The Environment and Climate Change Outlook of Pakistan.
https://www.uncclearn.org/sites/default/files/inventory/unep25082015.pdf.
Daud, M., Nafees, M., Ali, S., Rizwan, M., Bajwa, R., Shakoor, M., Arshad, M., Chatha, S., Deeba, F., Murad,
W., Malook, I. and Zhu, S. (2017). Drinking Water Quality Status and Contamination in
Pakistan. BioMed Research International, 2017, pp.1-18.
Remoundou, K. and Koundouri, P. (2009). Environmental Effects on Public Health: An Economic
Perspective. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 6(8), pp.2160-2178.
Perera, F. (2017). Pollution from Fossil-Fuel Combustion is the Leading Environmental Threat to Global
Pediatric Health and Equity: Solutions Exist. International Journal of Environmental Research and
Public Health, 15(1), p.16.
8

TLC 501 Assignment 2
Part 2
Some of the responses which I received in my last assignment was;
1. Unclear Sentence
On various topic sentences, my writing was not clear. The sentence was not expressive to represent
the thought process which I had in mind. The grammatical sentence structuring was lacking and
there was no punctuation mark, which could provide clarity of expression. In my past annotated
bibliographic report, there were several portions where clarity was not present. When I read
through the sentences to understand, analyse and make sense from them, I was not able to
understand much. I have overcome this challenge in my present assignment.
In my present assignment, I made sure that there is clarity present in each and every sentence
written. I repeatedly read through all the sentences to make sure that there is clarity of expression.
2. Descriptive Content without preposition or argument
Most of the content, especially the thesis statement was not comprehensive and lacked argument.
It was rather stating the problem, as against providing a basis upon which the study will be
developed.
Through continuous revision of my text, I have overcome this issue of unfinished sentence. I have
also checked repeatedly for any unfinished sentences.
3. Lack of sentence structure and clarity of sentences
There were present various grammatical error and sentence structuring issues. My professor
highlighted several sentence structures which lacked clarity of expression. In the introduction, there
were absent links between various sentences. This made it difficult to understand the point I was
trying to make.
While researching and organizing in writing Assignment 2, there were several challenges
encountered. I overcome them with reading and evaluating my paper three times after I have
completed. I will overcome the issues faced in Assignment 1 and I will improvise on my grammatical
and sentence structuring issues. In my current assignment I have read it several times and made
sure that I select each and every word in appropriate context. I checked the meaning in context
several times before the final submission of my assignment such that every word makes good
sense.
9