CAEX-6060G-2: Feedback on Improving Academic Writing and Clarity

This essay presents a review and feedback on academic writing, addressing the importance of audience determination in online and offline classes, clarity in sentence construction, and adherence to APA formatting. It analyzes the significance of class size, the advantages of face-to-face communication, and optimal planning for online classes. The feedback provided by the instructor focuses on wordiness, clarity, and proper referencing. The essay highlights the impact of class size on student engagement, the spontaneous nature of offline learning, and strategies for improving online learning through effective communication and traffic management. The overall aim is to enhance scholarly writing skills by addressing specific weaknesses and implementing constructive feedback.

Running head: REVIEW AND FEEDBACK
REVIEW AND FEEDBACK
Phuong Phan
CAEX-6060G-2
Dr. TAMMY TRUCKS-BORDEAUX
07/06/2018

REVIEW AND FEEDBACK 2
The learning resources are concerned about the determination of the audiences
for the good conduction of the online and the offline classes (Cook, 2014). The offline
class enables face to face communication between the students and the instructors.
Reading and the exchange of knowledge is the main pillar of the offline studies. On the
other hand, the online classes are dependent on the number of the audiences and the
quality of the education.
The feedback was that the content in the introduction part was presented in a
right way. The feedback was that there were wordiness and the lack of clarity in the
sentence. This issue has been taken care on the revised solution.
The feedback was that there needs to be clarity in relation to the editing and the
sentence construction was the focus of the improvement according the instructor. Apart
from that the organization in the paper has the strong influence in the discussion. It can
be said that the overall content for this week is supporting all the required points of
discussion. The feedback was that there were lack of wordiness in the sentences and
the formatting issues. The proper APA referencing has been instructed to be followed.
The first paragraph discussed about the significance of the size of the class for
the acceptance level of the students and maintaining the environment of the learning.It
has been seen that the number of the students are directly proportional to the number of
notes the students and the instructors write and read. However, it has been seen that
the large number of class size is having an effect on the communication between the
students and the instructors. The main take away from the discussion from the first
paragraph is that the small class size is easier to handle than large size of class. The

REVIEW AND FEEDBACK 3
conclusion supports the purpose of the feedback. The second paragraph is concerned
with the importance and the advantage of the face to face communication in the offline
mode of the conduction of the class. The comparative study between the online and
offline mode of study has been discussed in length. It has been found that in the case of
online mode of study there are several difficulties and the system has lacks
spontaneousness. The third paragraph is concerned about making the optimal planning
for the development of the online classes. The larger numbers of students have
negative impact pertaining to the communication of the classroom. So it has been
assumed that 19-20 students per class is acceptable. Improvement of the online traffic
management along with the modification of the communication between the students
and the educator can improve the overall quality of online learning. The overall
discussion of the three paragraphs contributes to the objective of the discussion. The
feedback given in this context has been maintained in a proper order. The formatting
and the wordiness of the sentences have been avoided.

REVIEW AND FEEDBACK 4
References
Cook, A. (2014, October 21). Help them help you: Being receptive to faculty feedback
[Blog post]. Retrieved from
http://waldenwritingcenter.blogspot.com/2014/10/help-them-help-you-being-
receptive-to.html