Feedback on Routine, Bad News, and Persuasive Business Messages

This assignment presents a detailed analysis of three different types of business messages: routine, bad news, and persuasive. The student provides constructive feedback on each message, highlighting both strengths and weaknesses. The analysis includes a high-level review, copy edits, and a detailed review of an open letter from Ford's CEO regarding sexual harassment allegations. The feedback covers aspects such as clarity, tone, structure, and the use of language, offering suggestions for improvement in professional writing. The student's work demonstrates an understanding of effective communication principles and provides valuable insights for enhancing the impact of business messages. This assignment is a great resource for students looking to improve their feedback skills and understanding of professional writing standards. The document focuses on the importance of clear and concise communication in the workplace.

Running head: PROFESSIONAL WRITING
PROFESSIONAL WRITING
Name of the student
Name of the university
Author note

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PROFESSIONAL WRITING
Example of Routine message:
Example of Bad News message:

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PROFESSIONAL WRITING

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PROFESSIONAL WRITING
Example of persuasive message:

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PROFESSIONAL WRITING
High Level Review of the three messages –
The routine message –
I must say that your routine message is on-point and takes minimum time of the receiver to read
it. However, your subject is extremely vague and does not provide any indication as to about what your
message is. The subject should have been succinct yet containing the main detail. The body of your
message contains sentences that are not official neither professional. For example, your message begins
with the sentence “printing costs are out of control”. Any message first starts with some salutations or
greetings even if it is a routine message. The body is filled with unnecessary words that were not
required.
The bad news message –
I must say that you have put together a well-written piece especially considering the fact that it is
a bad news message. We know that conveying bad news to any individual or firm is one of the most
difficult things to do because we have to make sure the receiver is not offended by it. Keeping this fact in
mind, I must state that the message has been drafted well with utmost care taken for professionalism. This
is a much better method to convey bad news such as termination to anyone. You have provided clear
indication of what you were about to inform without being harsh or unprofessional.
The persuasive message –
The body of the letter is quite strong as it puts forth the core message in clear words and
sentences. The concern expressed is convincing and the readers would definitely relate to it. Nonetheless,
as an open letter, it is quite effective but I would not say that it managed to put forth the message clearly
to those whom you intended. I felt that there was no need to start the letter with so much detail about the
company’s history and its success story because everyone is aware of that. Remember to leave an impact
right at the start of an open letter next time.
Copy edit –
From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Cc:
Subject: Printing
Printing costs are out of control.
I am not sure what everyone is printing or even who is doing all the unnecessary printing, but a look in
the recycling bin showed a number of areas of waste:
– Printouts of email messages
– Unneeded copies of documents

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PROFESSIONAL WRITING
– Draft copies of documents containing errors
– Blank (or almost blank) sheets containing only page numbers or empty spreadsheet cells
This wasteful practice has to stop. Therefore, I had no choice but to remove all printers and photocopiers
from the office and replace them with a single printer/photocopier.
This, of course, means that printing will not be as fast or as convenient as it has been, but the old
machines were noisy, inefficient, and a possible cause of indoor air pollution, so I know that everyone
will welcome the change. I expect everyone to work toward reducing their thoughtless use of valuable
resources by not printing out email messages, finding other ways to reduce paper waste, and sending
large orders to Document Processing.
To ensure that this happens, the new printer/copier will require you to enter an individual ID code before
printing so that print volumes can be recorded. No further action will be taken with this information
right now, but if wasteful printing is not reduced during the next three months, heads will roll.
Detailed Review –
Open letter from Ford President and CEO Jim Hackett
I come to work each day at Ford with a sense of extreme optimism.
Since our founding in 1903, Ford has remained one of the most successful and respected companies in the
world. Most other great companies from a century ago are gone for one reason or another.
To thrive for 114 years means Ford had to do many things right. And when it didn’t, it needed to
acknowledge things would have to change if we wanted to be here in the future.
This week, The New York Times detailed a number of allegations of sexual harassment at our plants in
Chicago over many years.
Candidly, it was gut wrenching to read the accounts of these women in The New York Times article.
Sexual harassment has been the center of a needed conversation confronting the haunting issues that one
would hope had improved, as the world gets smarter, more incisive and accountable.
Most importantly, I want to take this opportunity to say that I am sorry for any instance where a colleague
was subjected to harassment or discriminatory conduct. On behalf of myself and the employees of Ford
Motor Company, who condemn such behavior and regret any harassment as much as I do, I apologize.
More importantly, I promise that we will learn from this and we will do better.

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PROFESSIONAL WRITING
As an experienced CEO, I know there is no institution of merit that would support or condone an
environment like the one described in this article.
And there is absolutely no room for harassment at Ford Motor Company. We don’t want you here, and
we will move you out for engaging in any behavior like this.
Our promise is there will be no retaliation against anyone who speaks up, and no one is above the rules,
no matter where they are in the hierarchy. This is absolute. We have zero tolerance for any behavior like
this, and we will stamp it out together.
Ford has been grappling with these allegations in Chicago for some time. There were EEOC settlements
in 1999 and earlier this year that will provide relief to women who were subjected to harassing conduct .
While we believe that airing of these issues and the steps the company has taken will help us move
forward, we are deeply disappointed that at any time any of our employees may have thought this was
okay behavior.
When we leave for work every day, our families expect that we are going to an environment that is safe,
healthy and respectful. In fact, the outstanding reputation and acclaim that Ford has earned in the world is
a source of pride for all of us who work at Ford Motor Company as well as our families.
Having read and reread the article, I can’t let there be any doubt on where we stand on harassment and
felt compelled to share these thoughts more publicly: We have zero tolerance for it.
It is critical to be clear to all of our employees about what right and wrong is. If your people do not feel
safe and respected, they won’t work for your company. And your successful company will falter.
I can assure you that the people here care deeply about the employees in Chicago and have worked hard
to improve the situation and continue to do so. During the past two years, Ford and the UAW have
invested in 20,000 hours of employee training at the Chicago plants to reinforce a standard of mutual
respect that is non-negotiable.
In addition, we have significantly increased staffing at the plants to provide more oversight and quickly
investigate any reported incidences of harassment or discrimination. We also entered into a settlement
with the EEOC that I mentioned earlier, which establishes a panel of three independent experts to monitor
personnel related matters in the plants such as harassment investigations, training and adherence to
policies for up to five years. In addition, the settlement creates a fund of more than $10 million to provide
relief to those employees who have been subjected to harassing conduct.
We “get” our responsibility to make all Ford work environments safe and respectful for all Ford
employees, and we are working hard to fulfill that responsibility. This has been a learning experience
about how difficult it can be to root out bad behavior.
I’ve been in business for too long, though, to believe you can create a great culture simply through a top-
down dictate. While it’s vital that the values of the company are unambiguous and start at the top, this
cascade of values needs to permeate every employee’s consciousness. And those employees, in addition
to management, must make it clear to every new member joining the team what is expected.
We’re committed to that absorption.

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PROFESSIONAL WRITING
I will be in front of our employees in Chicago when everyone is back from the holidays to let them know
that when they leave for work in the morning, they and their families can expect that they are coming to
an environment that is safe, respectful and motivating them to do the best job possible.
The strengths –
To begin with, your open letter is very tightly packed and there are hardly any loose ends, which is
extremely good. Further, the message has a clear tone. The point was put forth clearly and succinctly. The
message also includes information that should give the readers a clear view about the company’s
commitment towards employee safety and security.
The first thing that you have done is managing to speak up about an issue, which is very sensitive and
controversial, as well. The tone of the message is that of acceptance, which the readers will receive
nicely.
To a company of this repute, it is difficult and even risky to accept openly the case of sexual harassment,
which you did in an appropriate way using appropriate language.
The next strength of the message is that it has used direct language with no subtle or hidden meaning. To
assert directly that you do not want employees who are found guilty of harassment is commendable.
The weaknesses –
The overall structure and tone of the message is exceptional however, a few parts of the message need
some amendment. Some issues are there with the use of words at the beginning of the sentences and the
repeated use of contractions, which is not acceptable in messages meant for the public and the employees.
Kindly look into these issues and you will produce an error-free message the next time you attempt it.
At first, you have repeatedly used conjunctions at the beginning of sentences, which is not acceptable for
standard messages such as this. Using “and” at the start of the sentence will confuse any nonprofessional
reader.
Secondly, please avoid using contractions like “can’t”, “won’t”, “it’s”, “don’t” and so on, because it is
not acceptable for standard English writers.
Third, the length of your message is too long. You must remember that your reader might not have that
much time to go through the entire message. Keep it short yet effective.
Fourth, although it is minor, the sentence structure in some places was vague and unclear. To a reader
with no professional background, it will become difficult to understand the meaning. Some clarity was
missing as well.
Overall, I should say that the message was quite strong and had minor, simple mistakes improving,
which, you could become an exceptional writer. Your message leaves an impact on the reader because, as
a reader, I could feel it. In addition, your message has very little error concerning grammar or overall
structure. You should keep it going and rectify the minor mistakes.