Assertive Communication and Its Impact on Recovery Process

This homework assignment delves into the significance of assertive communication in the context of recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. It provides a comprehensive overview of various communication styles, including passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive approaches, and their respective benefits and drawbacks. The assignment uses scenarios to illustrate how these communication styles manifest in real-life situations and their potential consequences. Furthermore, it emphasizes the benefits of assertive communication, which involves expressing one's needs and feelings directly and respectfully, as a crucial skill for individuals in recovery. The assignment also explores how different communication styles can influence the likelihood of relapse and offers insights into how assertive communication can aid in managing cravings and maintaining sobriety.

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◊ Communication
Continuum
Using assertive communication is an important part of recovery from drugs
and alcohol. Being assertive can help you express your opinions and
feelings, make requests of others and respond to requests of others in a
respectful manner.
Assertiveness leads you to feel more in control of your life and increases
the chances your goals will be met. This lesson will give you background
on different styles of communication and give you some ideas about how to
express yourself in a way that is helpful, instead of harmful to your
relationships.
You probably already know there are many ways people communicate, and
not all of these ways are assertive. A person does not always communicate
using the same style, but often there will be patterns. The following are
descriptions of interpersonal communication styles. As you go through
these descriptions, think about which one is similar to your style and
consider the following diagram of the continuum of communication styles:
Passive communication can feel like a finely honed skill and can be
effective; however, people who are communicating passively often give up
their rights, especially if what they want is in conflict with what someone
else wants. They often hide their thoughts and feelings and as a result
may feel depressed, anxious or angry. They often don’t say anything, even
when they disagree or are angry at someone. Passive people often do not
get their needs met and may cause damage to relationships with others
because of their lack of communication. Some passive people may attempt
to get their needs met through actions or inactions. When we use our
actions or inactions to communicate it typically takes longer to get what
we want and increases frustration on all parties involved. Consider the
following example of passive communication:
Sally stopped drinking a few weeks ago. She is trying really hard to stay
sober. Whenever she gets together with her family for dinner, her brother
drinks a few beers in front of her. It really bothers Sally, but her brother
doesn’t think it is a big deal, especially since Sally wasn’t a beer drinker.
Sally is angry and frustrated that her brother doesn’t understand how hard
this is for her, but she does not want to confront the situation and possibly
cause an argument so she doesn’t say anything. Sally starts to dread
being around her family.

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In the following boxes, complete what the benefits and drawbacks are of
using passive communication in Sally’s situation.
Benefits of Passive Communication Drawbacks of Passive
The benefit of passive communication in the context
of Sally is that it will avoid any confrontation or
argument with her brother. Positive relationship will
prevail between the two persons. People will like to
stay around with such persons.
The drawback of passive communication style for
Sally is that it will lead to build up of frustration and
she will suffer from low self esteem and poor mood
Could Sally’s passive communication lead to alcohol or other drug use? Why
or why not? How has passive communication led to alcohol or other drug
use in your life?
Yes, passive communication style is likely to lead to alcohol or other drug use for Sally as such people do not share their
feelings with other and they develop continued period of frustrations, anger and guilt. Such individuals are most likely to
engage in alcohol or other drug use. Sharma et al. (2017) gives the evidence that anger is a negative
phenomenological experience that lead to substance use disorder, depression, anger and hostility. Hence, alcohol use is
common in such people to cope with the disorder.
Can you think of a situation where you or someone you know used a passive
communication style? What did it look like? What was the result?
Yes, I have encountered a situation in my office where my senior colleague used passive
communication style when her subordinate did not respected her commitment to the job and did not
approved her leave for a real problem based situation. Initially, by looking at the colleague, one could
not sense that she was hurt or disgusted by the act. He calmly came and rested on his desk.
However, the ultimate result was seen the other day when he resigned and took a drastic step to
overcome the anger and frustration caused due to the lack of support from his boss.
Aggressive communication can also feel like a finely honed skill and may
also be effective; however, there may be some significant drawbacks to
aggression including increased fighting, increased stress, increased anger,
and increased relationship dissatisfaction. People who are communicating
aggressively are putting their interests up front, but often at the expense of
others rights or feelings. They may get their needs met in the short-term,
but over the long term, relationships may suffer or even be destroyed
because of their behavior. Others may feel they are not being heard or
respected and sometimes are made to feel worthless. Consider the following
example of aggressive communication:
Sally’s brother sits down to dinner with a beer. He figures this won’t bother
Sally since she used to drink hard liquor and he is not going to get drunk.
Sally sees the beer and starts to yell at him, telling him how evil he is for
drinking and that he is purposely trying to taunt her. She tells her parents
that she is not coming over again because everyone is so disrespectful of her
feelings. Sally’s brother and parents are confused since they did not realize

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there was a problem. Sally is even more angry and upset after the
confrontation. Sally’s family wonders if they should invite her over since she
has behaved so hostile.
In the following boxes, complete what the benefits and drawbacks are of
using aggressive communication in Sally’s situation.

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Benefits of Aggressive Drawbacks of Aggressive
The benefits of using aggressive communication style
is that Sally can express her anger to other and she
will not suffer from any emotional burden because of
lack of communication with concerned person
(Morris et al., 2018).
The disadvantage of aggressive communication is
that it will increase hostile behavior in Sally and it will
negative affect her relationship with her family
Could Sally’s aggressive communication lead to alcohol or other drug use?
Why or why not? How has aggressive communication led to alcohol or other
drug use in your life?
Yes, Sally’s aggressive communication can also lead to alcohol or other drug use. This is said
because aggressive people use alcohol as a coping mechanism to cope with stress and negative
social situations
Aggressive communication led to alcohol use in my life because I found that after expressing
anger, drinking alcohol would help me to forget my worries (Blaine & Sinha, 2017). Hence, alcohol
use is promoted for coping while experiencing negative mood and stress.
Can you think of a situation where you or someone you know used an
aggressive communication style? What did it look like? What was the
result?
Yes, I have witnessed aggressive communication in many situations. One example of such situation is
when my brother suddenly expressed anger and started shouting at one of his friends on a call. His
friend was constantly disturbing him during exam time and repeated call made him frustrated. He
finally vent out all his angers on him. It looked very bad because the way he shouted, it was too harsh
on his friend. However, after some time, my brother repented on his behavior and felt bad about it.Ye
You may have heard of the term Passive Aggressive Communication.
People who are indirect about what they want may be communicating in a
passive aggressive style.
They don’t state directly what they feel or think and may hint at what they
want, and expect others to figure it out. They sometimes act out what they
want to say, such as slamming doors, giving someone the “silent
treatment”, being late, or doing a sloppy job. They try to get what they
want without having to directly deal with others. Again, short term goals
may be met, but long term, damage to relationships can occur and the
person may become angry or depressed when others don’t read their cues
correctly.
Consider the following example of passive aggressive communication:
Sally can’t believe her brother is drinking in front of her and at her parent’s
house! She thinks her family must not be supportive of her. Instead of
directly telling them how this bothers her, she makes sarcastic and mean
remarks to her brother throughout dinner. She doesn’t bother to help her
parents clean up like she usually does and leaves without saying goodbye to
her brother. She leaves angry and feeling sad that her family doesn’t care
about her. Her family members feel mistreated and confused about her
behavior.

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In the following boxes, complete what the benefits and drawbacks are of
using passive aggressive communication in Sally’s situation.
Benefits of Passive
Aggressive
Communication
Drawbacks of Passive
Aggressive
CommunicationThe benefit of aggressive communication style for
Sally is that she can express her feelings and
frustration through in direct means. She can
communicate that she is not happy with how things
are going by going against normal behavior and
resisting from doing normal activities.
The drawbacks of passive aggressive communication
style is that it can lead to long term harm for Sally as
her family may feel perplexed about her behavior
and they may get negative perception about Sally.
Hence, positive relationship with family may be
ultimately hampered in the long run.

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Could Sally’s passive aggressive communication lead to alcohol or other
drug use? Why or why not? How has passive aggressive communication led
to alcohol or other drug use in your life?
Yes, Sally’s passive aggressive communication style can lead to alcohol or other drug use as she
may develop negative emotions and starting use of alcohol may give relief and mental peace to
her. Passive aggressive communication led to alcohol or other drug use in my life as I could
sense that I felt relief when I consumed alcohol after an argument with my family. This was a
good coping mechanism for me.
Can you think of a situation where you or someone you know used a passive
aggressive communication style? What did it look like? What was the result?
Yes, I have seen my brother use this communication style to show that he was upset of my behavior
of mocking him in front of his friend. Instead of directly telling me this, we stopped talking with me
and gave very rude comment whenever I tried to interact with him. He avoided helping me in work
and commented that I do not deserve so much help. I was very confused by his behavior and I felt
very bad that he was not talking with me in a normal manner. I was upset for a long time because of
this.
Assertive Communication involves knowledge about your basic rights as
a human being, self-awareness of feelings and wanted outcomes in a
situation, and being mindful and respectful of others when stating your
feelings, wants, and needs.
Assertiveness is simply asking for or stating what you want (or do not want)
in a direct way that does not attack, manipulate, or disrespect anyone else.
You stand up for yourself and your rights in the situation while also taking
responsibility to be cooperative, nonjudgmental, and caring for your own
needs in such a way that protects the dignity of others. When using an
assertive communication style, others view you as honest and as knowing
what is important to your needs. This communication approach allows you
to cope with the problems associated with alcohol or drug use as best as you
can without letting others steamroll you or without isolating yourself. You
will be in a better spot and more able to manage your cravings using
assertiveness rather than passivity or aggression. Consider the following
example of assertive communication:
Sally sees her brother sit down at the table with a beer. Being around any
kind of alcohol triggers her to want to drink. She decides that she will tell
her family how she feels and ask if they could not drink when she is
around.
“I am really working hard to stay sober and seeing you drink that beer is

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really causing me to crave a drink. I really need you to not drink when
you are around me. I think I will do much better in my recovery with
support from you.”
In the following boxes, complete what the benefits and drawbacks are of
using assertive communication in Sally’s situation.
Benefits of Assertive
Communication
Drawbacks of Assertive
CommunicationThe benefit of this communication style for Sally is
that it will help clearly communicate issues with her
family and control anger by directly communicating
concerns with other. This will help promote respect
and reduce the likelihood of developing poor or
negative relationship with family.
Some drawback of this communication style is that
Sally’s family may find her to be arrogant and it will
reflect over confidence.

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Could Sally’s assertive communication lead to alcohol or other drug use?
Why or why not? How could assertive communication help you meet your
goals of sobriety?
No, assertive communication will not lead to alcohol use as such communication resolves
conflict and reduces feeling of distress. Hence, as positive emotion will dominate, there will be
no need to engage in coping mechanism of alcohol use.
Assertive communication reduces communication gaps that lead to emotional outburst and
frustration. Hence, goals of sobriety are made by this means.
Can you think of a situation where you or someone you know used an
assertive communication style? What did it look like? What was the result?
Yes, my father used assertive communication style when I reacted in anger to his denial for
permission for attending a party. My father directly interacted with me and explained the reason
behind not giving the permission. The site or venue was not appropriate and his explanation made
me calm and reduces my feelings of anger towards him.
Notice in the previous example, Sally clearly stated what the problem was,
told her family how they could help and told them something positive that
would happen as a result.
In the above situation Sally used a communication technique called SAS.
SAS
State the problem and its consequences.
Ask for what you need.
Spell out the advantages of cooperation.
In Sally’s example, this is how she used the SAS skills:
State the Problem: "Seeing you drink is causing me to crave a drink."
Ask for What You Need: "I need you to not drink around me."
Spell out the Advantaged of Cooperation: "I will do better in my recovery
with support from you"
Sally stated her needs and desires directly. She also was respectful and did
not put other people down or make them feel badly. She pointed out a

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positive consequence (“I will do better in my recovery”) rather than a
negative consequence or blaming statement. (“If you keep drinking around
me I will relapse and it will be your fault”)
Think of a situation where you would like to communicate assertively. Try
writing out what you will say using the SAS technique.
State the Problem: The problem is related to lack of support from my fellow
report in cleaning room and doing daily household work.
Ask for What You Need: I will ask her to cooperate with daily cleaning work
and share task so that I am not overburdened with task and we both can
manage our work on time.
Spell out the Advantaged of Cooperation:
The advantage of cooperation it can lead to reduction in workload and creation of supportive environment
where peace can prevail and any event of conflict is avoided.

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Assertive communication goes beyond verbal expression. Nonverbal
communication, or “body language,” plays a large part in the messages
we send to other people. In contrast to verbal/spoken communication,
which consists of actual words used in speaking with someone, nonverbal
communication refers to the way in which those words are projected. For
example, during a job interview, one person might look down at the floor or
off in the distance, whereas a different person might look directly at the
interviewer. What different messages would these two applicants convey?
The person looking down at the floor will demonstrate lack of interest or focus on the interview or
lack of confidence to counter the interviewer. A person looking directly may show confidence and
focus during the interview sessions.
Nonverbal behaviors can help you communicate more
assertively. Here are some examples. Fill in others that you
think would be helpful.
Maintain eye contact Position your body squarely
towards others
Speak firmly, positively, & loud
enough to be heard
easily
Use clear, concise speech
Keep your “body language”
consistent with your
statements
Listen to what others are
saying
Maintain a posture and
attitude of
equality
Take the initiative
Giving positive facial expression Make positive gestures by putting hands or
waving
Using calm tone of voice Maintain appropriate distance between
people while talking

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Using an assertive communication style doesn’t come naturally for
everyone. It is often a big change from what they are used to and a change
from how they are used to being treated. It can be uncomfortable at first,
and may require some practice. Start out by practicing with small requests,
rather than trying to tackle big situations. Some people find it helpful to
practice in front of a mirror or with a peer or counselor too.
Remember, using assertive communication can help you feel more relaxed,
less depressed, and more powerful. Learning how to be assertive will
enable you to act in your own best interest, to stand up for yourself and
express your thoughts and feeling honestly and comfortably, and to
exercise your personal rights without denying the rights of others.
What would be the benefits of communicating in a more assertively?
Communicating in an assertive manner would help to feel relaxed, decrease feelings of
distress and feel empowered.
What do you think the outcome would be if you used a passive communication
style?
Passive communication style would lead to feeling of frustration, depression and poor self esteem.
What do you think the outcome would be if you used an aggressive
communication style?
Aggressive communication style would lead to conflict and impaired relationship
What do you think the outcome would be if you used a passive-aggressive
communication style?

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Passive aggressive communication style would address feelings of anger, however complete
relaxation cannot be achieved.

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Assertiveness & Communication Skills
Directions: Three times over the next week, find someone with whom to
practice the “SAS” communication technique. In the space provided, write
the situation, the stated problem and its consequences, ask for what you
want, and spell out the benefits of cooperation.
Practice SAS in a low risk, non-emotionally charged situation at first!
“SAS” Communication Technique:
State the problem and its consequences.
Ask for what you want.
Spell out the benefits of
cooperation. Date:
Date:
Situation Stated Problem Asked Wants Spelled Benefits
I caught cold and my
brother was eating ice
cream in front of me
As I had cold, I wanted
my brother not to eat
any tempting things in
front of me.
I politely asked him to
avoid eating ice cream
in front of me for some
days
He respected me and
went to another room
to have the ice cream
Date:
Situation Stated Problem Asked Wants Spelled Benefits
I was given unexpected
work by my team leader
at office
I had to leave early from
office because of some
personal plans
I communicated to my
team leader about my
problem and that I
cannot commit to extra
workload that day.
I got the necessary
cooperation from my
team leader.
Situation Stated Problem Asked Wants Spelled Benefits
Doing kitchen chores
with my sister in law
My sister in law is not
helping me in preparing
food
I communicated that if
both work together and
share activities, then
cooking would take
lesser time
She understood my
expectation and helped
me during food
preparation

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References:
Blaine, S. K., & Sinha, R. (2017). Alcohol, stress, and glucocorticoids: From risk to dependence and relapse in
alcohol use disorders. Neuropharmacology, 122, 136–147. doi:10.1016/j.neuropharm.2017.01.037
Morris, S., Cranney, J., Baldwin, P., Mellish, L., & Krochmalik, A. (2018). Connecting and
communicating. Rubber Brain: a Toolkit for Optimising Your Study, Work, and Life!, The, 191.
Sharma, M. K., Suman, L. N., Murthy, P., & Marimuthu, P. (2017). Relationship of Anger with Alcohol use
Treatment Outcome: Follow-up Study. Indian journal of psychological medicine, 39(4), 426–429.
doi:10.4103/0253-7176.211757