Feedback Report: Evaluation of Assignment and Recommendations

This report provides an in-depth analysis of an assignment, focusing on constructive feedback and areas for improvement. The report highlights issues with sentence structure, grammatical errors, and the use of language, suggesting specific improvements such as using straightforward language, avoiding jargon, and improving the clarity and conciseness of writing. The analysis also emphasizes the importance of expressing personal viewpoints and providing clear explanations. The report includes a list of references, including books and journals that support the feedback provided. The overall goal of the report is to enhance the quality and effectiveness of the assignment through detailed evaluation and practical recommendations. This document is available on Desklib, a platform offering valuable resources for students seeking academic assistance.

APG5070 First Draft Junhong
Li/30072182
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Contents
Constructive feedback.....................................................................................................................3
REFERENCES................................................................................................................................4
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CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK
In this entire project the languages has been used to describe the pictures and emotions is
quite simple and highly effective. But they need to described in depth which helps to show the
whole concept of work effectively. The sentence was used in this portfolio was not mentioned
systematically and the synchronization of words is not been placed effectively. I have noticed
that words are not used correctly. The writing style is to simple, there are some grammatical
errors has been shown in some para which need to be improved. The purpose of writing is to
explain the overall subject of work. In This project you need to express your own thoughts, that
helps reader to gain knowledge about images that has been shown in your work. Write more
specific focus because others people will also read this report. You have written many things, but
there are some errors has been analysed which make person unable to understand the whole
concept. The jumbling of words you do need to used while writing each and every paragraph.
You need to define other key elements in your written report, the description of each pictures is
not mentioned in systematic ways there are some issues has been arise while reading the whole
interpretation. The sentence fragments must be considered by writer, you need to improve the
quality of work used punctuation in some placed which is highly required to improve writing
styles. Too many errors in punctuation, grammar and style lose marks. Your are free to express
our own point of view, you just not need to define the whole situation but also reason behind it
and how it influence others to read it with curiosity.
You need to use straight forward language, trim long sentence and make it useful, you
also need to avoid redundancies, write some verbs rather than nouns, and must used parallel
forms. You need to look for unnecessary words, because no one like long winded writing, clarity
and conciseness of words are require in whole work. You need to cut down some unnecessary
words and write down in behalf of it the appropriate sentence which helps to shows the perfect
picture what you need to explain. Notice how much simpler statement is, avoid most of using
passive voice beside racking up too many words. You should write full of jargon and wordy
phrases because every things need to be going to easy to understand. Straightforward language
will used in entire work that help to improve your writing rather than before. You need to avoid
well worn phrases, and longer sentence that make difficult to read in just one step.
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REFERENCES
Book and Journals
Ching, Y.H., 2014. Exploring the impact of role-playing on peer feedback in an online case-
based learning activity. The International Review of Research in Open and
Distributed Learning. 15(3).
Kuvaas, B., Buch, R. and Dysvik, A., 2017. Constructive supervisor feedback is not sufficient:
Immediacy and frequency is essential. Human Resource
Management. 56(3). pp.519-531.
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