Autohistoria Assignment: Jiazeng Li on Race, Identity, and Experiences

This autohistoria assignment by Jiazeng Li explores the development of personal knowledge on race and identity through reading, engagement, and life experiences. The author reflects on how reading literature, particularly novels, and engaging with peers and family have shaped their understanding of race and identity as a Chinese person living in the United States. The assignment delves into the impact of racism, including experiences of discrimination and anti-Asian hate crimes, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic, and how these experiences have influenced the author's understanding of racial justice. The author discusses the importance of self-reflection, the role of administration in racial justice, and their support for movements like Black Lives Matter. The assignment references relevant academic literature to support the author's reflections on race and identity formation.

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Jiazeng Li
Professor: Michael Singh
Date: 31/03/2012
Autohistoria Assignment
Where does your personal knowledge of race and identity come from?
My knowledge of race and identity comes from reading and engaging. Identifying race is
a complex process. However, by reading and engaging with various literature on American
society, I can understand the culture from how the past and the present. For instance, identifying
someone as an Asian may insinuate a mixed-race because of the history conquest, but identifying
them as an American brings up the idea of integrating race and identity through the long history
of immigration, expansion, and slavery that has shaped the United States (Salter et al., 2018).
Through reading, I learned that nationalities such as Asians and Americans blend to form a
singular identity known as Asia-American.
Reading and engaging promote a reflective identity-building process where an individual
can relate to their culture and race. After reading novels that narrate my race as a Chinese, I
often ask myself this question "Who am I?" This helps me develop a sense of who I am based on
what is reflected in these novels' characters. In terms of engaging, we often shape our identities
through our engagements with our peers, families, and even friends. I realized that I began to
reflect on who I was, mainly being a Chinese living in the United States in my adolescent stage.
Reading novels with characters that can capture the reader in recognizing aspects of self,
I can relate the experiences of character to my own life and situation and learn lessons alongside
the character. As I become self-reflective, the literature assumes a critical role in exploring what
it means to be a person belonging to a particular race or identity. I have realized that reading and

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engaging literature helps embrace heightened psychological awareness, meditating on motive
and desire for histories such as discrimination, and highlighting the links and conflicts between
socialization and self-determination that shape our identity (Salter et al., 2018).
Reflection is critical in gaining knowledge on race and identity because by reflecting on
my situation and those of characters in a given novel that talks about race and identity,
particularly my own race, I gain the ability to consider possible outcomes and I become between
equipped in making well-informed decisions about my race and identity. Reading and engaging
promote a reflective identity-building process where an individual can relate to their culture and
race.
What life experiences and world events have contributed to how you understand
race and identity?
Being a Chinese living in the United States, I have experienced a lot of racism that
widened my understanding of race and identity. Growing up in the US as Asian American has
not been easy. I remember when I was in grade school, some classmates used to make hurtful
comments such as how the Chinese food was strange, and some could say Chinese girls are not
attractive. However, I have made a personal choice that those experiences would not define me
but rather write my own existence. The anti-Asian hate crimes are increasing more so during this
season of COVID-19, where there is a lot of stereotyping of Asians about the pandemic.
Although COVID 19 has become a global pandemic, it has escalated racism against us,
the Chinese-Americans. I feel that racism has increased so much since the beginning of the
pandemic, and most of the time, I fear walking in crowded places because I might be threatened
or physically attacked. As I was growing up, I witnessed a celebration of both Asian and
American culture. Although culture and language made it harder for Asian families in the past,

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the recent spike of anti-Asian hate crimes worries us. For instance, when I see an elderly Chinese
being attacked, I cannot help but think, what if it was my grandparent. These adverse incidences
of racism make it hard for most Asian people to fit into American society.
How have these experiences shaped your understanding of racial justice?
I have learned that the administration of a country is essential in determining racial
justice in a country. For instance, the administration of President Trump escalated the anti-Asian
hate crimes. The former president could publicly call COVID-19 a China virus. His
administration did not promote any racial justice to the Chinese population as the people turned
against us as the main reason for this pandemic. Sometimes I feel like I forsake my culture and
become cultureless because of increasing racial discrimination that increased with COVID-19
(Rivas‐Drake et al., 2017).
However, I will not allow the negative racial discrimination incidents during this period
to become an influential or integral part of my life. I will not give the negative perceptions of
others more power by conceding defeat in the war against racism. In a fight for racial justice,
most Asian-Americans now support the Black Lives Matter movement and other movements that
advocate for the fight against racism. It is time to discuss racism openly. I believe what happened
to George Floyd has also happened to Chinese people, more so during this period of the
pandemic.

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References
Salter, P. S., Adams, G., & Perez, M. J. (2018). Racism in the structure of everyday worlds: A
cultural-psychological perspective. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 27(3),
150-155.
Rivas‐Drake, D., Umaña‐Taylor, A. J., Schaefer, D. R., & Medina, M. (2017). Ethnic‐racial
identity and friendships in early adolescence. Child Development, 88(3), 710-724.