Business Communication Report: Analysis and Revision of Documents

This assignment presents a comprehensive analysis and rewrite of four business communication documents: an email to a dinner cruise company, a letter to hotel customers, an email to a photocopy service provider, and a reply letter to a customer. The original documents are critiqued for weaknesses in style, format, and content, with a focus on improving clarity, professionalism, and effectiveness. The rewritten versions demonstrate best practices in business writing, addressing issues such as tone, conciseness, and the appropriate use of language. The assignment aims to enhance the student's ability to produce clear, concise, and persuasive business communications, reinforcing key concepts covered in the COMM502 Business Communication course.

Running Head: BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
Business Communication
Student’s Name
University Name
Author’s Note

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BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
To: [e-mail]
Cc:
Subject: Enquiry and request for quotation
Dear Mary,
This is the first time I am I will be going to an evening dinner cruise. I suppose your organization
will be able to offer a perfect package of a cruise party, complementing our half yearly awards
ceremony in the best possible manner. However, the choice of Waitemata Harbour seems
misplaced in context to an awards party. We suggest you to book someplace else, going further
afield. We also need to be aware of the kind of food you are serving. However, we suggest that
the food should be less be less spicy and that you create the menu keeping in mind that we need
to serve food to some of our vegetarian staffs also. However, also let us know whether the
charges for this party will be per head or as a complete package. This award ceremony will be
felicitating some of outstanding performers of our organization. Since this is supposed to be an
award ceremony, I hope you will have a dais where we can stand and click picture of the
memorable moments. We suggest that you keep in mind that there will be 40 attendees to this
occasion. As highlighted by our General Manager, everybody needs to be reserved in their
conduct and refrain from engaging in activities like dancing. However, I assume that some piped
music of light temperament can be played and request you to arrange for the same. We would
appreciate if you are having a cash bar. Lastly, kind let us also know whether the price of drinks
is inclusive of the package or not. We have scope for the party either on 20th or the 27th of
September. We have the list of other cruise agencies in hand also. Therefore, it is expected that
you will put up competitive quotation.

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BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
Regards
Sally McDonald
HR Assistant
Rocket Hardware
Document 2: Letter to regular customers of a Hotel Group, informing the launch of a new site
Dear Customer
We take great pleasure to inform you that we are launching a new facility of our Duchess Hotel,
which will be located in downtown Wellington. This facility is all equipped to serve the business
people coming from the adjacent business district. We expect that you will love this new facility.
We have late check outs available here, based on prior notice.
The latest accommodations available here include a business centre, equipped with computers,
printers as well as other peripherals. Business magazines are available for the guests also. Other
attractions include a modernized fitness centre and a spa.
We welcome you to come and experience our new grandeur.
Sincerely
JB
John Blackmore
Customer Service Manager

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BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
Document 3: Email to copycats
To: Neil O’Brien [e-mail]
Cc:
Subject: Launch of Complaint
Hi O’Brien
This is to inform you that two photocopy machines have been out of order for over a
week in our office. One of the service person of your organization had attended to the issue
(working order no 3825). However, the machines are still not in proper work conditions. After a
session of heavy usage, both the machine begins to jam and it takes a lot of effort to clear the
clutter to make them run smoothly. In fact, we are often left with no other option than visiting the
nearby photocopying centre in the adjacent street. This adds on to our operational costs. We urge
you to send some capable repairer in order to find a sustainable solution the issues regarding the
photocopy machines. After looking at our contract I observed that you are bound tto deliver
prompt solutions to any relevant issues regarding which we call you up in a span of three
working days. However, this time, it has been one week already and there is still a proper
solution of the issue to be found. Henceforth, it is worth mentioning that if are unable to deliver
service as per the contract norms, we will be looking forward to other agencies to fulfill our
needs of servicing the photocopies.
Regards
David Jamieson
Facilities Assistant

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BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
Work Associates
Document 4: Reply letter to a customer who demanded that a burnt clothes dryer’s motor be
replaced without any additional charges from our end
1st July 2019
Ms Julie Henderson
163 Signal Road: Auckland 1034
Dear Ms Julie
Subject: Compliant
You are receiving this letter against your claim for free replacement of the engine motor of your
burnt out engine motor. We are willing to inform you by means of this letter that we are not
going to offer any repairs to be covered under our warranty, caused because of the damage that
has been caused because of the fault of the operator. As analyzed on the basis of your lodged
complaint, we have come to the conclusion that the motor of your device had burnt out because
of the lint filter that had been full, resulting in clogging as well as overheating of the heater.
We had run an inspection by our service technician, Jim Parker after we received the
complaint from your end. This helped us to discover that you had not taken proper care of the
lint filter. As per the reports of Jim, the lint filter was miserably clogged and it is obvious that
this is the major reason why the motor circuitry had been hampered resulting in overheating and

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BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
thus it burnt out. Rather, you should consider that you are lucky that this did not cause a house
fire.
The regent dryers get the best possible reviews from the users. Almost all users appreciate its
large capacity, antibacterial cycle as well as its fast drying times. In this context you should be
aware that the warranty provided on the dryer covers the following aspects:
 Manufacturing defects in context to improper installation from our end.
It is evident and has also been tested for that there had been no major defects with the machinery
and that there is no flaw in regard to installation also. Hence, we want to inform you that it is not
possible for us to get your dryer motor changed at no charge. However, in order to ensure that
our smooth relationship is maintained we provide you the offer of replacing your exhausted
motor with a refurbished motor at a price of $99. However, we would suggest that the best
option for you would be to purchase a new motor at $189 only. In case if you select this
alternative, we would be charging you for an additional $65 rather than the usual service charge
of $130. We are waiting for your reply. Kindly refer to which of our above mentioned services
you are willing to opt.
Yours Faithfully
M Hartsfield
Maria Hartsfield
Officer of Customer Relations

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BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
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