Analyzing Grief in Children: Unique Aspects, Management Strategies

This essay delves into the unique aspects of grief in children, contrasting it with 'normal' grief experienced by adults. It highlights that children often believe in the reversibility of loss and exhibit prolonged grief, anger, and imitative behaviors. The essay identifies warning signs such as silence, isolation, and chronic sadness, emphasizing the importance of caregiver intervention through communication, physical affection, and empathetic listening. It also discusses when referral to specialist services is necessary, particularly when caregiver strategies are ineffective or when extreme symptoms are present. The essay concludes by stressing the need for contextualized care to support children through their grieving process, noting that while challenging, most children recover well with appropriate support. Desklib offers a wealth of resources, including past papers and solved assignments, to assist students in understanding and managing complex topics like childhood grief.

Running head: GRIEF IN CHILDREN
Grief in Children
Student’s Name
Institutional Affiliation

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Grief in Children
Introduction
Most people assume that children do not suffer grief. Grief has been defined as great
sorrow or instances of intense sadness that an individual experience usually due to loss of a
loved one (through death) (Rodgers and DuBois, 2018). Grief among children is unique
although some aspects are like those of grief among adults (Cohen, Mannarino and
Deblinger, 2016). This assignment is going to centre around grief among children. The
special aspects of the grief, a comparison with the ‘normal grief’, warning signs, strategies to
manage the situation and when to seek specialized services will be discussed.
Unique Aspects of Grief in Children
Grief among children, like it is among adults is mainly caused by loss of loved one
especially a parent. Unlike adults, children believe that the loss will be recovered some day.
For instance, if it is the loss of a parent, they believe that some day in the future, the parent
will come back. Some scholars argue that this may be influenced by watching cartoons since
cartoons die and come back to life in such programs. Another unique aspect is that once they
learn that the loss may never be recovered, children experience grief for relatively longer
periods. Such children also exhibit extreme anger that manifests in ways such as playing
vigorously. Having nightmares, becoming irritable etc. Another unique aspect is that such
children are likely to mimic/imitate the person that they lost. For instance, if a child lost the
mum, they might constantly behave in a way that is like how the mum used to behave. This
includes such aspects as laughing like her, walking the way she did etc. Another unique
aspect of grief in children is that they are likely to exhibit a sharp decline in performance at

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school. Grief may deeply affect the mental processes of a child to the extent of affecting their
concentration leading to the decline in performance (Butler, 2017)
Comparison of the Grief of Children with ‘Normal Grief’
The term normal grief is used to mean that grief that is experienced by most
people in the population. Children are unique from the general population in many
ways (Goldman, 2017). Unlike children, the other members of the population (adults)
have the understanding that once a life is lost, the person will never come back to life
(Shear, 2015). Due to this realization, they are likely to suffer for relatively shorter
periods than the children (Shear, 2015). It usually said that time heals all. With time,
the adults learn to adapt to the new environment (i.e. an environment without the
person who died). Children however may suffer for longer periods especially since
they might never receive the kind of help/support that they got from the person who
passed (Worden, 2018) There are some similarities however. In both types of grief,
there is usually a period of intense sadness which may accompanied by anger
(Worden, 2018). The way of expressing the anger is however significantly different
among the children as explained in the previous section (Salloum, 2015). Just like the
children (who show sharp decline in school performance) adults who are experiencing
grief may also show poor performance in the work place. The final similarity that will
be discussed here is that both types of grief could lead to depression (Salloum, 2015).
Depression refers to a situation where an individual experience a severe feeling of
despondency (Rodgers and DuBois, 2018). Depression may occur to children after
losing a parent through death. This mainly occurs in situations where the child does
not receive adequate support to help them overcome the grief ((Rodgers and DuBois,

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2018). According to Jacobs (2016), adequate support refers to support from relatives
or even professional counsellors.
Warning Signs
In this section, warning signs will be discussed. These are the signs that
indicate the necessity of specialized care for the affected child. One of such signs is
silence (Worden, 2018). It is common knowledge that silence is a normal reaction to
grief. However, when the silence is prolonged/too much there is need for special care.
Another sign is isolation. This is where the child seems to detach from everyone and
everything else and just wants to be left alone. Another sign that things may be getting
worse is when the child feels out of control in this state, they feel helpless for they
could not prevent the loss. This is not a good state and special care should be
administered to avert the situation (Jacobs, 2016). Being chronically sad should also
raise an alarm. As discussed earlier, it is common to feel sad when in grief. However,
when the sadness is intense and experienced for long periods of time, care should be
taken to avoid harm to the health and well being of the child. Sadness is usually
caused by distress and this may lower the immunity of the child and predispose them
to illnesses (Rosenblatt, 2016).
Managing the Situation
As seen above, there are some warning signs and the care giver should always
be keen to identify them. Where this is prolonged silence, it is important for the care
giver to find a way of talking with the child about the situation often (Goldman,
2017). The caregiver should ask the child such questions as how they feel. After

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receiving the response, they could repeat it to shape the child that they are being
listened to. Talking about the issue at hand often will help the child to heal and
overcome the silence (Rosenblatt, 2016). To manage isolation, the care giver should
constantly hug the child. Extensive research reveals that hugging greatly helps in
reducing episodes/instances of isolation (Doka and Martin, 2014). If the child is not
comfortable with hugging, one could involve in something involving physical touch
that the child enjoys. This could be tickling or playing a game. For the case of chronic
sadness, it helps to encourage the child to ‘cry out’ all the bitterness and the sadness
that they feel within. It is very important for the child to express the feelings that are
deeply seated within them (Butler, 2017). It would help for the caregiver to serve as
an example, that is cry with the children. Another way to help such children is
through employing good listening skills. It is very important for the caregivers to
ensure that they give ears to such children and do so genuinely. It is important to be
empathetic. For a child, the journey to understanding what really happened and
coping may take longer periods than other people. It is important for the care giver to
have such understanding and try to fit in the shoes of the child (Hoy, 2016). This is
likely to lead to effective care.
When to Refer to Specialist Services
As already seen in the discussion, the sadness, isolation and other factors are
normal reaction to grief. For children however, the process is very different. Most
children usually recover with time without the need for intervention by a specialist
(Jacobs, 2016). In some cases, however, it may be important to consult a specialist for
specialized help. Such help may be necessary when the caregiver’s

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strategies/intervention bears little or no fruits. In cases where the care giver, tries the
interventions above with little or no improvement, it may be necessary to find a
specialist to offer professional care. Such professionals are trained and experienced in
dealing with such cases and often help the child improve. If a child becomes sick
often, it would be important to seek the intervention of a professional counsellor
(Salloum, 2015). Some counsellors are also trained in dealing with paediatric cases. In
such a situation, it is also important to see a paediatrician so that the health and
wellness of the child can be kept at optimum. The other instance where special care
may be necessary is when a child exhibits an extremity of a certain symptom that is
associated with grief (Klass, Silverman and Nickman, 2014). For instance, if the child
shows extreme sadness or anger, it would be important if a professional counsellor
intervened to help the child heal and overcome the root cause of the problem. These
professionals are available in my area and in many other areas across the country.
Conclusion
Grief may affect children adversely and reduce the quality of life. It is
important to note that the child is usually affected by grief in a significantly different
way than the adults are. For this case, care for children who are in grief should be
contextualized to meet the unique needs of the children. It is important to ensure that
the children receive appropriate support so that they can overcome the grief. It is
worth noting that although the process of overcoming grief may be quite challenging
for children, most of them recover well with time.

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References
Butler, J. (2017). “To Tarry with Grief”: Spontaneous Shrines, Public Pedagogy, and
the Work of Mourning. The ‘Story-Takers': Public Pedagogy, Transitional
Justice and Italy's Non-Violent Protest against the Mafia, 26.
Cohen, J. A., Mannarino, A. P., & Deblinger, E. (2016). Treating trauma and
traumatic grief in children and adolescents. Guilford Publications.
Doka, K. J., & Martin, T. L. (2014). Men don't cry, women do: Transcending gender
stereotypes of grief. Routledge.
Goldman, L. (2017). What Complicates Grief, Loss, and Trauma for Students.
Creating Inclusion and Well-being for Marginalized Students: Whole-School
Approaches to Supporting Children’s Grief, Loss, and Trauma, 42.
Hoy, W. G. (2016). Making Sense of Grief. In Bereavement Groups and the Role of
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Jacobs, S. (2016). Traumatic grief: Diagnosis, treatment, and prevention. Routledge.

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Klass, D., Silverman, P. R., & Nickman, S. (2014). Continuing bonds: New
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Rodgers, R. F., & DuBois, R. H. (2018). Grief Reactions: A Sociocultural Approach.
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Rosenblatt, P. C. (2016). Parent grief: Narratives of loss and relationship. Routledge.
Salloum, A. (2015). Grief and Trauma in Children. Taylor & Francis.
Shear, M. K. (2015). Complicated grief. New England Journal of Medicine, 372(2),
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Worden, J. W. (2018). Grief counselling and grief therapy: A handbook for the
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