ALJ216 Assignment 1: Correcting Errors in a Feature Story Editing

This assignment is an editing exercise focusing on correcting errors in a feature story. The task involves identifying and fixing punctuation, spelling, syntax, and style issues within a given article about supermarket marketing strategies. The original story describes various tactics used by supermarkets, such as strategic product placement, sensory marketing (aromas, lighting), and demographic adaptation, to influence consumer behavior. The assignment emphasizes practical editing skills and understanding of feature writing style, without extensive rewriting or the use of electronic grammar/spell-check tools. Desklib provides access to similar assignments and study resources for students.

Running head: FEATURE STORY – EDITED
FEATURE STORY – EDITED
Name of the Student
Name of the University
Author Note

1FEATURE STORY – EDITED
The soothing earth music drifts above the display of aromatherapy oils. The shoppers
are instantly transported to another astral plane. The sky-blue boxes of essence arranged in a
pyramid bear the brand name, Sanctuary. This is a calm little oasis situated at the entrance to
the newly constructed health and beauty aids department, at this new-generation supermarket
in Malvern.
A few steps to the left, Bruce Springsteen rocks the shopper at a brisker pace along
isles that are laden with products from around the world. Dinky little flags hang from the
ceiling identifying each different country. There is kosher food from Israel, cholesterol-laden
dressings in the United States section, jars of curry-paste under India and do-it-yourself
nachos kits for would-be Mexicans.
It’s all part of the brand new look for the 89 Coles supermarkets around the country
which were refurbished last year with “concepts” in mind.
Coles Broadway, in Sydney, now contains an Asian store within a store; Coles
Donvale is one of the thirty supermarkets in Victoria that houses a cappuccino cafe. There’s a
certain psychology aimed at the unsuspecting buyer behind every gimmick.
The Coles, in the affluent city of Malvern, displays its breads and pastries on an
antique-style wooden shelving “to give it more of a feel of a bakery”, according to the state
manager, Malcolm Davies. Every morning the staff slap frozen dough into a mini oven,
filling the supermarket with the seductive aroma of fresh bread and they wear French berets,
for added authenticity.
Nearby, the seafood counter, Daily Catch, displays the whole fish cavorting as if it is
still in the ocean. The cutlets arranged attractively around them. The head of a thirty-seven

2FEATURE STORY – EDITED
kilogram tuna stares blankly through the glass and a plastic lobster on the top creates the
ambience of that fish-shop.
In the meat aisle, steak fillets look mouth-wateringly juicy as they glow deep red
under a pink-tinged fluorescent light. Further along is Chicken Choice. Barbecued, roasted,
skinned, plucked, whole or in bits, the only way it doesn’t come is alive. The overall
appearance is designed to make each section feel like an individual store where the customer
can linger.
Even if you don’t want to linger, there’s a good chance you’ll take a look at all these
lovely products and be tempted to buy some - although you only popped in for bread and
milk. “Strategic placement is very important,” said Gail Kennedy from the Consumer
Association. Staples like coffee, tea and sugar are spread out so that you have to walk past a
whole range of goods before you find what you ducked in for. The shopper succumbs to
impulse buys. The spontaneous shopping generates a huge slab of profit.
“The other thing is changing placement, where the clientele is prevented from falling
too much into a pattern. Items are changed around a bit so they have to hunt. In that way, the
customer is introduced to new products”.
Ever wondered why the top name brands are always within reach? Eye level is buy
level. According to Ms Kennedy, overseas research indicates that moving goods from floor
level to eye level increases sales by 78 per cent. Manufacturers have been known to pay
premiums to occupy this spot, though Coles deny that they charge them. However,
manufacturers do pay for display stands, that are particularly powerful when used for
“complimentary selling” - sticking a colourful stand of pasta sauces next to the spaghetti.

3FEATURE STORY – EDITED
In most stores, the first items to hit shoppers are the fresh fruit and vegetables,
artistically displayed near the turnstiles. Clever use of lightening can make the tomatoes
appear redder and the capsicums greener than they would in a natural setting. Moisture
droplets give them that “just-picked-after-the-rain” look. “We have to spray them regularly
because the refrigeration dries them out”, explains Coles manager Doug Neal.
The choice are enough to make you blink. Popping in for a few vegies have never
been so baffling. There are more than 10 different types of potato, washed, scrubbed or au
naturel or you can buy them at the deli, already cooked and smothered in sauce.
It’s stating the obvious but in a chaotic world, this is where supermarkets score over
the very humble corner shop, offering plastic bags of ready-made salads for those busy types
who can’t find time to chop a lettuce.
“It's all about demographics, said Neal. “We have to know what kind of people are
living in the area and adapt accordingly. For instance, we know that 0.8 per cent of people in
this area are American, so we have a range of American merchandise.
“This is a relatively upmarket area and we have a gourmet range which we would not
sell in other stores. We sell a lot of fast food in this store; we stock a huge range of takeaway
pastas, heat and eats and pre-packaged salads”.
Surprisingly though, freshness does not top of the list of customer requirements from
a supermarket. In a survey by Choice magazine, location was the absolute top priority,
according to 70 per cent of respondents. After that came convenient hours followed by a wide
variety of products and brands.
Russell Antcliffe, the public affairs manager for the nation’s 580 Safeway/Woolworth
supermarkets, was keen to debunk some of the claims made by the Consumer Association.

4FEATURE STORY – EDITED
“One of the common myths is that the milk counter is at the back of the store, so the
customer is forced to walk all the way through”, he says. “Not true the milk is at the back
because turnover during the day is huge. It is easier to restock it by keeping it close to the
stock room”.
“And yes, we do change the layout of our supermarkets regularly, but it’s not to
prevent the customer from becoming complacent. The changes are often seasonal. For
instance, in winter we sell a lot more soups and a lot less cold drinks so we have to
accommodate this.
We are drawing to the end of the Coles tour, grouped together around tinned fruits.
Neal very hastily makes a note that the prunes are sold out. “There must have been some
health item in the magazines about their benefits,” he says. “We get such a demand for a
particular item when that happens”.
An elderly lady stops to ask him directions. She heads off, the state-of-the-art Coles
Supercart already half full, gone are the metal trolleys with an equally iron will that had you
cannoning into all corners. These are Ferraris in comparison, boasting a wheel design which
guarantees sleek handling.
Its late afternoon and there’s a cue forming at one of the checkouts. At least some
things do not change.