Personal Grief Experience: An Analysis Using Contemporary Theories

This essay critically analyzes personal experiences of grief and loss through the lens of contemporary theories, specifically the Dual Process Model and the Two-Track Model of Bereavement. The author reflects on the loss of a brother-in-law and an uncle, detailing the emotional impact and relating it to loss-oriented and restoration-oriented behaviors as described in the Dual Process Model. The analysis extends to the Two-Track Model, examining the biopsychosocial functioning and the continuing relationship with the deceased. The essay concludes by comparing the strengths and limitations of both models, emphasizing the value of the Dual Process Model in understanding individual reactions to grief and facilitating effective coping strategies. Desklib offers a wealth of similar academic resources for students.

Counselling for Grief and Loss

TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION......................................................................................................................3
MAIN BODY.............................................................................................................................3
CONCLUSION..........................................................................................................................6
REFERENCES...........................................................................................................................8

INTRODUCTION
Grief is referred to as the reaction in respect to the response to a loss or a loss and it
is having a huge impact over the mind, body and the spirit as well. In other terms it is also
considered as the healthy process in regard to the feeling comforted along with coming to the
terms of loss and finding out the ways to cope up with the same. This essay is basically in
regard to critically analyzing the grief and loss that I have experienced in my personal life but
it involves evaluation considering the relevant contemporary theories. In addition to provides
information or the insight pertaining to the practical application of these theories in the real
life and the benefits it generates.
MAIN BODY
A few years back I had lost my cousin brother-in-law and my uncle in a quick
succession. My brother-in-law was facing the problem of financial issues due to
unemployment which resulted into affecting his health. He was hospitalized serval times and
after every hospitalization his condition was improving or stabilized. But suddenly his health
deteriorated and he died. This came as a shock and disbelief to the family as everything was
seemed to coming on track and right and all of a sudden, this mishap happened. He was very
young and was having the responsibility of two kids and his wife. This incident has left
thoughts and memories about him in my mind for a very long time as could not imagine it.
This resulted into making it difficult for me to focus on the anything else as we were very
close. This experience can be critically evaluated with the help of application of certain
contemporary theories.
One of the well know theory is the Dual Process Model which was proposed in mid-
90s in respect to the model of grief. As per this bereavement theory, the grief operates mainly
into 2 ways and people use to switch between the two back and forth. This theory basically
provides 2 ways for dealing with the grief which are loss-oriented and restoration oriented.
This happens when a person grieves, they switch among 2 different modes which is why it is
known as the dual process model. Under loss-oriented behavior, it incorporates the things
which reminds about the loved ones and their death and these things are mainly the thoughts,
feelings, actions which results into focusing over the grief and loss (Fiore, 2019). This
behavior does not help in coping up with the grief as it involves thinking about how much
one misses the loved one either by way of recalling an old memory or looking at the photos.
This loss-oriented behavior results into bringing a lot of powerful emotions like the sadness
or anger. The restoration-oriented stressor is the way which helps in letting go the grief and

helps in getting with the daily life and assists in getting distracted from the loss and brief
(Boerner and et.al., 2017). It involves getting engaged into the house chores, watch funny TV
show, hanging out with friends etc. Sometimes, ignoring the emotions is not healthy but
some people believe that it is the normal way pertaining to overcoming the grief. Most
common examples of loss-oriented stressors are: thinking about a specific thing of the
deceased one, cooking the favorite food of the one passed away, going through the pictures,
someone who exactly like the loved one which in turn reminds about them and triggering a
memory associated with them. These all things just happened with me whenever I visit their
place, I got the to remind about the way he uses to talk, that always smiling face. These
things kept with in connected with that person and remined about him in a far better way.
This acted as a loss oriented stressor in my case.
Based upon this contemporary and relating to my experience, it can be stated that
initially even I was involved with the loss-oriented stressor as I was continuously thinking
about it. This resulted into affecting my work or presence of mind even I was not able to
sleep well. Without the restoration-oriented behavior, it would have become difficult for
anyone to cope up with the loss and grief. Without this, one may not be able to look after
oneself and get on with the daily life. This restoration-oriented stressor is very important part
for carrying on even after the death of the loved ones as it is behavior which helps in trying to
restore order and bring back to normality (Chow, 2019). But one cannot completely forget
the loved ones and it is where the oscillation comes where the individual move back and forth
among the two modes as it helps in tackling with the grief bit by bit. Everyone oscillates
without even realizing about it. Some of the examples associated with it is the grief
journaling in regard to the loss which is then followed by the having a funny movie which
depicts loss to restoration oriented. Another example is working out and having look at the
loved one’s photos or how that person use to work out leading to loss to restoration oriented.
Feeling the smell of which reminds about the loved one and reminds about the loss which is
then followed by the doing chores in the home.
Thus, based upon my experience I have actually found this dual process model very
helpful pertaining to remembering about the grief as it des not put much emphasis over
confronting one’s feelings. Under the situation when the person finds it difficult to express
emotions and finds distraction helpful in coping with the grief, then this dual process model is
considered to be very accurate in reflecting the experience. But it has been criticized on the
aspect that this theory is more useful for men while the various other past theories focused on
stereotypically female way of grieving. In respect to the men, it is being noted that the they

mostly use restoration oriented activities which supports in overcoming the grief and loss and
this theory of grief considers it as the healthy, normal and an effective way of grieving.
Another contemporary theory of grief which can be further used for critically
analyzing the grief experience. Sustaining in life refers to the maintaining the emotional well-
being, having an attachment to the living and deceased are associated with the psychological
impact of loss. In respect to the Two-Track Model of Bereavement, the cycle of loss is being
intellectualized into the 2 distinct but the interactive axes which helps in reacting to the overt
and covert aspects pertaining to the response to loss. This model was proposed by the
researcher maned Simon Shimshon Rubin in the late 1970s / early 1980s (Rubin, Malkinson
and Witztum, 2017). The track I is mainly focused on the biopsychosocial functioning in the
wake of loss while on the other hand, Trach II is mainly focused towards the person’s
continuous enthusiastic connection and relationship to the deceased. As per the proposer of
this theory, Track I is very important as it takes into consideration biopsychosocial
functioning. This helps in providing ideas and the ways which helps in measuring to get an
idea about functioning of someone after the loss.
The track II, take a look at recollections, sentiments, connections and bonds to the
individual who kicked the bucket as a significant piece of sorrow. As per this theory, this
relationship could adversely affect the individual grieving. Rubin portrayed each track as a
"multidimensional pivot" and clarified those scientists, clinicians, and individual who were
lamenting themselves could profit with this methodology. In simple terms, these tracks
provide framework which helps the individual in examining their own life and grief which
involves both the track of functioning and relation with the person which is deceased. In
addition, this model of grief supports in effectively assessing the areas of my life which has
been affected on a negative side because of the grief. Along with that, it helps in identifying
the areas in which one has grown and adapted and created it as strength or the areas which
requires support. In addition to this, it helps in making the person well aware about the
relationship with the person or the loved one who is no more in the world (Rubin, Witztum
and Malkinson, 2017). In addition, helps the individual in realizing how things changes or
how things would have been changed. But it is important to understand what are key things
which are incorporated within the two tracks in order to carry out the more appropriate
analysis. The Track I functioning includes anxiety, self-esteem and self-worth, familial
relationships, feeling of depression or cognitions, involvement into life and work, normal
interpersonal and familiar relations along with this, it involves the symptoms which are
psychiatric nature etc. on the other side, the Track II states about the relationship with the

deceased. This can be in terms of imagery or the memory, idealization, conflict, influence
upon the self-perception, emotional distance, transformation of the loss and the deceased
person.
By applying the Rubin’s Two Track Model of bereavement to my experience of
grief and loss, I was having feeling stressed and anxious for the initial few days which has
considered to be in Track I and I was actually finding it difficult to not think about it. In
respect to the Track II, the relationship with my deceased brother-in-law was imaginary and
memory, memorialization of the loss. But there were certain criticism pertaining to this
model, as it only provides areas of strengths and weaknesses when the self evaluation or the
analysis is carried out and does not involve any sort of direct solution to cope up with the
loss.
Thus, based upon the above it can be stated that both the contemporary theories are
having certain benefits and certain limitations. But there are few similarities between the two
as it is always stated that one model leads to another. In my experience both of these models
can be perfectly utilized or applied as it will result into providing more strength or finding out
the better ways in respect to effectively incorporating or coping up with the grief and carry
out the life in a normal way (Chow, 2017). Both the models are drawn with the objective of
determining the behavior of the individual who has experienced the loss and grief and way
he/she can follow in order to overcome the challenge or the difficulty of coming out of the
grief.
But there are certain benefits or the advantages of dual process model over the Two
Track Model of bereavement and the other grief theories are lacking are: it considers the grief
as the linear experience and is not fully inclusive of those experiencing grief. Another point is
that it does not make use of the empirical evidence in order to validate or prove their theories.
Also, it provides a narrow perspective pertaining to the one’s internal process and focused too
much over confronting the emotions of an individual.
CONCLUSION
Therefore, it can be concluded from the above analysis that, in my situation or my
experience I would rather look out for the dual process model which has more or less provide
support by clearly explains the way in which the person reacts to the news of the someone
loved death. Both the contemporary theories are right on their part and are equally helpful in
analyzing the experience one goes through and in addition to this, it provides ways through
which the person can cope up with the loss. This is the way in which a person behaves and

responds to such situation and makes it important to effectively understand the emotional
outflow or the things the person is dealing with. The response differs from person to person
and thus, the outcome attained is also different as one thing that works for on person may not
be the same with the other person.

REFERENCES
Books and Journals
Boerner, K., and et.al., 2017. Grief and Bereavement: Theoretical Perspectives. Encyclopedia
of Geropsychology. pp.979-986.
Chow, A. Y., 2019. The Dual Process Model and Resilience. In Promoting Resilience (pp.
185-190). Routledge.
Chow, A.Y., 2017. Grief and Bereavement Care. In Thai Palliative Care Society Conference
on Palliative Care in End-Stage Renal Disease. Thailand.
Fiore, J., 2019. A systematic review of the dual process model of coping with bereavement
(1999–2016). OMEGA-Journal of Death and Dying. p.0030222819893139.
Rubin, S. S., Malkinson, R. and Witztum, E., 2017. The two-track model of bereavement and
continuing bonds. In Continuing bonds in bereavement (pp. 17-30). Routledge.
Rubin, S. S., Witztum, E. and Malkinson, R., 2017. Bereavement and traumatic bereavement:
Working with the two-track model of bereavement. Journal of Rational-Emotive &
Cognitive-Behavior Therapy. 35(1). pp.78-87.
Online
The Dual Process Model. 2021. [Online]. Available Through:<
https://www.funeralguide.co.uk/help-resources/bereavement-support/the-grieving-
process/the-dual-process-model >.
Understanding The Two-Track Model of Bereavement. 2017. [Online]. Available Through:<
https://whatsyourgrief.com/rubin-two-track-model-of-bereavement/>.