Cross-Sex Friendships: Real-Life Examples and Theoretical Analysis

This essay delves into the dynamics of cross-sex friendships, exploring real-life examples and applying interpersonal theories to analyze these relationships. The introduction highlights the commonality of cross-sex friendships in contemporary society and the potential differences from same-sex friendships, emphasizing the varying levels of intimacy and comfort based on gender. The essay uses the author's personal experience as a case study, detailing a long-standing cross-sex friendship and applying theories such as those related to friendship rules, expectations, and self-disclosure. It examines how low expectations, adherence to friendship rules, and limited self-disclosure contribute to the success of these friendships, contrasting them with romantic relationships. The essay also acknowledges the impact of cultural background and social support on cross-sex friendships, addressing potential misinterpretations and challenges. It concludes by summarizing the key factors that influence the success of cross-sex relationships, emphasizing the importance of affection and adherence to friendship rules. The provided references support the analysis with relevant research on interpersonal communication and friendship dynamics.

APPLICATION PAPER
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Table of Contents
Introduction:....................................................................................................................................3
Real-life example of interpersonal relationships:............................................................................3
Application of theories:...................................................................................................................3
References:......................................................................................................................................6
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Introduction:
In the contemporary society, cross-sex friendships are quite common although such relations can
be different from the same-sex friendships. Sharing common activities and feelings are the key to
any friendship (Webb et al.2015). These elements remain present in case of both same-sex and
cross-sex relations. However, the level of intimacy and comfort may vary in the cross–sex
relationship on basis of the gender. For example, the girls tend to be more comfortable in same
sex friendships than in cross-sex friendships. On the contrary, self-esteem of the boys is observed
to increase when they are in a cross-sex friendship. However, priority of cross-sex friendship and
a romantic relationship also vary from person to person. Due to the very distinctive nature,
maintaining a cross-sex friendship often becomes challenging. On the flip, despite all the
challenges , there are many success stories also surrounding the cross-sex friends. In this
assignment, I am sharing the real-life examples of cross-sex friends. The theories related to
interpersonal relationship are used in this assignment to assess the real-life examples of cross-sex
friendships.
Real-life example of interpersonal relationships:
The example of me and my best friend in School can be considered a perfect example of cross-
sex friends. Our friendship started when both of us were in the early adolescence. Since then we
share lots of activities, affection and mutual understanding . However, both of us are in separate
romantic relations and our friendship does not cause any problem in our other relations.
Application of theories:
It might be quite odd to hear that we maintained me and my best friend have never had any
romantic or sexual attraction between us , although we were from different genders and
maintained separate romantic relationships as well. The interpersonal theories related to cross-
sex friendship can better analyze our relation.
As stated by Weger (2015) , the key differences between a cross-sex friendship and romantic
relationship are – low expectation and adherence to the friendship rules. In other words , the
people have high expectations from their romantic partners while the expectations is always low
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from cross-sex friends in terms of emotional commitment and loyalty . In our case also, we never
had high expectations from each other. Although both of us were very close friends, we had
many other friends too from same and opposite sex. Relation with these friends also never
impacted our relationship. We treated each other as just other close friends. Due to this nature,
no romantic emotion developed between us despite the gender difference.
Strict adherence to the friendship rules is key to the successful cross-sex relation (Wentland &
Reissing, 2011). In a friendship, people usually share emotional bonding, Platonic love and
affection. Me and my best –friend also focused on maintaining a strong emotional commitment
between us. It might be another factor that restricted us from developing any romantic
relationship. The studies have shown that tendency of adhering to the friendship rules is more
between the individuals w who never had any romantic interest with each other. On the contrary,
the former romantic partners often become cross-sex friends. However , in such friends , the
tendency of adhering to the friendship rules is comparatively lower . As both of us were just
classmates before being friends and never had any romantic feeling on each other, the tendency
of maintaining the friendship rules is high between us. This nature, in turn, helped us to treat
each other just like any same sex friend.
The cross-sex friendship and romantic relation becomes different due to the differences in level
of self-disclosure (Weger et al.2018). In a romantic relation, people often focus on higher level
of self- disclosure whereas in friendship, the level of self-disclosure is always comparatively
low. In case of my friendship, I never felt the need of extensive self-disclosure with my friend.
On the flip , in my romantic relationship , I needed to disclose myself to my romantic partner. In
addition, in case of my romantic partner I consciously paid attention to develop the intimacy. On
the contrary , in case of my opposite sex friend none of us put such effort. So, there is no higher
level of intimacy especially physical intimacy as it is with my romantic partner.
The studies show that often people feel more comfortable when they are in a same-sex
relationship (Lewis-Jah, 2017; Huang et al.2017). However, in case of us, I hardly felt
uncomfortable with my cross-sex friend. The cultural background is important in maintaining a
cross-sex relationship as in some culture such friendships are quite common while in other
cultures these relations are stigmatized. In case of my friendship, both of us used to have many
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other friends from opposite gender. So, this type of friendship was not very uncommon to us and
it might enhanced our comfort level.
Although we had a strong emotional relation with each other, there was a challenge for us also.
Often people misinterpreted our relationships and used to think that we are in a romantic
relationship. However , we used to share a strong bond and mutual understanding with each
other. It helped us to retain the friendship as it is.
In case of same-sex friendship, social support often strengthens the bond between two friends
(Reeder, 2017). Although we were of opposite sex, our friendship started at a young age. At that
time, both of us luckily obtained support from the family members. It also protected our
friendship to a great extent.
Conclusion:
The discussion on the cross-sex friendship indicates that maintaining such a relationship can
become challenging due to attitude of each of the friends and cultural norms. However, such
challenges can be mitigated easily if the friends share a bond of affection and adhere to the
friendship rules .
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References:
Huang, K., Yeomans, M., Brooks, A. W., Minson, J., & Gino, F. (2017). It doesn’t hurt to ask:
Question-asking increases liking. Journal of personality and social psychology, 113(3), 430.
Lewis-Jah, M. L. (2017). Race, Gender, Choice: Sexual Decision Making Among Adolescent,
African American Girls-The Role of Family Connectedness. Widener University.
Reeder, H. (2017). “He’s Like a Brother”: The Social Construction of Satisfying Cross-Sex
Friendship Roles. Sexuality & Culture, 21(1), 142-162.
Webb, H. J., Zimmer-Gembeck, M. J., Mastro, S., Farrell, L. J., Waters, A. M., & Lavell, C. H.
(2015). Young adolescents’ body dysmorphic symptoms: associations with same-and cross-sex
peer teasing via appearance-based rejection sensitivity. Journal of abnormal child
psychology, 43(6), 1161-1173.
Weger, H. (2015). Cross‐Sex Friendships. The International Encyclopedia of Interpersonal
Communication.
Weger, H. W., Cole, M., & Akbulut, V. (2018). Relationship maintenance across platonic and
non-platonic cross-sex friendships in emerging adults. The Journal of social psychology,
Wentland, J.& Reissing, E.(2011).Taking casual sex not too casually: Exploring defi nitions of
casual sexual relationships. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, Vol. 20 (3)
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