Essay: Exploring the Disadvantages of Gender-Neutral Parenting

This essay critically examines the cons of gender-neutral parenting, a contemporary approach where parents aim to raise children without gender-based stereotypes. The paper argues that while the intentions are to foster creativity and freedom of expression, it may lead to confusion in children regarding their gender identity, especially when parents hide their child's gender. It discusses concerns from psychologists and doctors who believe in allowing children to understand their anatomy and choose their toys, rather than depriving them of toys they may crave. The essay analyzes the potential for gender-neutral parenting to go too far, possibly hindering children's understanding of their gender and their ability to develop a healthy self-image. The paper highlights the importance of providing children with accurate information about their bodies and allowing them the freedom to explore their interests and identities, ultimately concluding that children should be able to choose their gender identity after receiving proper information. The essay references various sources and research findings to support its claims. The essay is contributed to Desklib, a platform for AI-based study tools.

Running head: GENDER-NEUTRAL PARENTING
GENDER-NEUTRAL PARENTING
Name of Student
Name of the University
Author note

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Gender-neutral parenting refers to exposing the children to a variety of genders so that
there is the children who explore and identify their gender without any restriction from the
gender or the society. Therefore gender-neutral parents help children and parents to think away
from gender binary. The kids who are gender neutral tend to be more creative due to the freedom
of choice and expression. These children have the ability to improve their interests and insights
by being free from any types of stereotypes (Dailytelegraph.com.au., 2020). The term that is
often used for such children is “theybys”. However doctors feel that it depends completely upon
the parents to be open towards their children and their choices and therefore it is not necessary to
use the term “theybys” or to hide the gender of their children. The main aim of the paper is to
discuss about the cons of gender-neutral parenting. The paper will therefore discuss about the
cons of gender-neutral parenting.
Gender neutral parenting has become a fashionable trend these days and parents who
follow the same think that they are raising their children in a way that cannot be affected by any
restrictions from the society or their gender itself (Global News., 2020). These parents are of the
view that if a child’s gender is revealed in the school then they will wither be treated as a boy or
a girl and therefore they will not be able to enjoy their childhood due to a number of restrictions
and will be able to enjoy a childhood that is stereotype free. For instance, if a child is a boy and
he plays with girl toys then it is often seen as wrong by the society (Sanders & Stryker, 2016).
And this concept is being supported by all those activities’ who are against gender discrimination
taking place all across the world and also in all fields. However, psychologist and doctors do not
oppose this movement but they feel that it is important for the parents to be open towards their
child and their decision and be able to embrace the same so that the children can be who they
want to be. Hence the psychologist and doctors feel that unnecessary for the parents to carry on

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this movement of genderless children or “theybys”. And though the parents care about their
children and therefore want a discrimination free childhood for them, it is necessary for the
parents to understand that child have the right to know about their anatomy and feel shameless
about the same. If a parent starts hiding the gender of child from them then first of all the child
feel confused if they want to be a girl or a boy because they have grown up genderless (Salter,
2020). And sometimes they may feel that their parents are guilty of their gender and that is why
they are trying to hide the same by calling their children “theybys”.
Moreover it has also been found by various researchers and social workers that children
need to be allowed to selected their toys by themselves (Babbel Magazine., 2020). The gender
neutral parents often try to avoid making use of stereotype toys such as pink dollies for girls or
cars for boys. The gender neutral parents not only hide the child gender from them but make
them wear neutral colours as opposed to blue or pink and also do not give them the toys that are
related with a particular gender. For instance, the baby (a girl) may be given cars to play with
and books that show women astronauts and others. But a major question that has been raised
over here by the researcher is that “are the children not deprived of the toys they crave for?”
Another researcher who has a baby boy has told him about his gender and they let him pick his
toy whether it is cars or dolls (McCree., 2016). Therefore from the researches, it has been
understood that it is the parents who play a very important role in building the personality of a
child because if a child is allowed to do whatever they want to do and their parents embrace the
same then they will automatically grow as intelligent and smart young men or women.
Therefore from the above discussion, it can be concluded that gender neutral parenting
may have gone too far because as per study, children are often unable to understand if they want
to be a girl or a boy. Moreover psychologist and doctors feel that by hiding the actual gender of a

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child from them, the parents are actually causing a problem. As it has been understood from the
paper that there needs to be a particular age only after which a person should be allowed to
decide if they want to change their gender. Moreover children have all rights of being aware of
their anatomy and not being ashamed about the same. Therefore from the paper it is clear that
children should be given the freedom to be who they want to be only after providing them proper
information about their anatomy such that they can grow as young boys or young girls and not
genderless.

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References
Babbel Magazine. (2020). Swedish ‘Hen’ Is Here To Stay: The Success Of A Made-Up Gender-
Neutral Pronoun. Babbel Magazine. Retrieved 18 April 2020, from
https://www.babbel.com/en/magazine/swedish-hen/.
Dailytelegraph.com.au. (2020). Stop making our kids worry about their gender.
Dailytelegraph.com.au. Retrieved 18 April 2020, from
https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/rendezview/stop-the-sexual-politicisation-of-childhood-we-
have-gone-too-far/news-story/2025d0b4b57d76a145798fc2fbe2ce49.
Global News. (2020). Raising theyby: Why some parents are raising gender-neutral babies.
Global News. Retrieved 18 April 2020, from https://globalnews.ca/news/4152075/gender-
neutral-baby/.
McCree. (2016). Female Soccer and Parenting in the Caribbean. Women, Gender, And Families
Of Color, 4(1), 36. https://doi.org/10.5406/womgenfamcol.4.1.0036
Salter, J. (2020). Gender neutral parenting – has it gone too far?. The Telegraph. Retrieved 18
April 2020, from https://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/parenting/gender-neutral-parenting-has-
gone-far/.
Sanders, J., & Stryker, S. (2016). Stalled: Gender-Neutral Public Bathrooms. South Atlantic
Quarterly, 115(4), 779-788. https://doi.org/10.1215/00382876-3656191