Analyzing Grief Stages in 'Lament for a Son' - Psychology Essay

This essay delves into the stages of grief as illustrated in Wolterstorff's 'Lament for a Son,' examining the emotional journey of the narrator after the tragic death of his son, Eric. It explores the application of the Kubler-Ross model, encompassing denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, although not necessarily in a linear order. The essay highlights how the narrator cycles through these stages, finding solace in his faith and the hope of resurrection. The analysis considers the subjective nature of grief and how the story demonstrates both the universality and uniqueness of grieving experiences, emphasizing the fluidity of the grieving process and the interplay of various emotions. The essay references relevant literature on grief, providing a comprehensive understanding of the psychological aspects of loss and recovery.

Running head: STAGES OF GRIEF
Stages of grief
Name of the Student
Name of the University
Author note

1STAGES OF GRIEF
1. The narrator made grief after the death of his 25-year-old son, Eric during rock climbing.
However, his son’s death gave him invaluable memories from twenty-five years of his
son’s life. The author honoured Eric’s memory by passing the grief from his life and
remembering him for life. The author found joy after his son’s loss by thinking that Eric
would meet him after rebirth as stated in bible and wave at him. The author believed that
god is also suffering due to Eric’s loss and made narrator happy that they boat are sailing
on the same boat. God made his son, Eric to suffer to show people eternity and provide
him free passage for showing grievances (Wolterstorff, 1987).
2. In Christianity, death does not mean mourning or grieving for someone who died. It
provides ray of hope to the dear ones by saying that soul of dead lives with eternity and
stays with god. Many beliefs are there in Christianity regarding death: hell, heaven and
purgatory that are differ for various believers. Doctrine talk about the same thing called
resurrection. The soul finds its way to heaven and remains untouched. Death does not
mean end of life except for the body of the dead person. The destination of the soul is
predefined and depends on soul activities on earth. God’s son promised to lead an eternal
life in the house of God for people who believe in gospel who would forgive for grace
and sins (Cherry Hill Church Organization, 2016).
3. The role of resurrection of hope in gospel of Bible states Jesus came back from tomb
after three days of the crucification. The empty tomb where Jesus was crucified and
rebirth of son of God at the same time depicts rise from death. Similarly, the narrator
hopes for resurrection as his son would reappear from death one day and hear his voice.
The author stay with hope that rebirth is possible referring to Jesus’ rebirth and want to
live for the day when resurrection takes place. Eric encountered tragic death as he was

2STAGES OF GRIEF
climbing mountain making him mourn, however, he finds hope in Bible as it comforts
him that his son will come back one day (Pokorný, 2013).
Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief
Kubler-Ross stages of grief are covered in the Lament for a Son covering a range of
emotions: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Although, they are not depicted
in the same order, emotional stage of author started with denial and depression. After thus, he
accepted that his son is dead as he buried him and this took off depression. The anger stage was
hidden in three stages where the author was agitated and frustrated as his son is dead at a minor
age of twenty-five years. The author felt that it is injustice as his future is burying him instead of
burying Eric. The bargaining stage came at last where author found light of hope of resurrection
of Eric from bible and make the death incident more acceptable for the author (Melton, 2011).
The third stage of grief in Kubler-Ross model is explained in which emotional stage is
illustrated as bargaining. In this stage, there is avoidance of grief where author believed that
there is hope for rebirth after of his son, Eric. It is a great trauma to the author to come out of this
situation after the tragic accident of his son. The stage of bargaining comes after the acceptance
stage where the author accepted his death. The phases of emotional expression overlapped in the
narrator’s life where the author wanted to exchange his prolonged life to hear the voice of his
dead son again (Kübler-Ross & Kessler, 2014).
From the above discussion of grief stages, it is evident that grief is a subjective
phenomenon that is different for every person and seems similar for an outsider. In the given
Lament for a Son, the five stages are not defined and understood explicitly; rather provide a
framework for understanding the process of grief and working. The story by Wolterstorif is

3STAGES OF GRIEF
about loss of narrator’s son demonstrating both universality and uniqueness of grieving
experiences. In this story, the author displayed joyful moments in his narration and cycles back
through stages of grief like denial, anger and depression. The model is fluid in nature that
accounts for people revisiting and bouncing between different grief stages and does not follow
any particular order. This is the reason where acceptance is not described at the end of grief
depicting negative grief. The narrator is able to enjoy acceptance and joy along with depression
and grief after the demise of his son.

4STAGES OF GRIEF
References
Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2014). On grief and grieving: Finding the meaning of grief
through the five stages of loss. Simon and Schuster, pp.7-24.
Melton, N. J. (2011). Lessons of lament: Reflections on the correspondence between the Lament
Psalms and early Australian Pentecostal Prayer. Journal of Pentecostal Theology, 20(1),
68-80.
Pokorný, P. (2013). From the Gospel to the Gospels: history, theology and impact of the biblical
term'euangelion' (Vol. 195). Walter de Gruyter, pp.81-84.
Wolterstorff, N. (1987). Lament for a Son. Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing, pp.106-110.
www.cherryhillchurch.org, (2016), Living in Christ. Cherryhillchurch.org. Retrieved 3
November 2017, from
http://cherryhillchurch.org/wpcontent/uploads/2017/04/LINC03272016WonderofEaster
May14.pdf