Sociology Reading Reflection: Hobbs, Roupenian & Modern Relationships

This reading reflection delves into the sociological concepts of "liquid love" and "confluent love," as presented in the Hobbs et al. article, examining how dating apps have transformed romantic relationships and intimacy in the digital age. The assignment analyzes how the authors' findings support the notion of liquid love, where relationships are often short-term and driven by immediate gratification, facilitated by technology. Furthermore, the reflection explores the impact of dating apps like Tinder, OkCupid, and Happn, on the expectations and behaviors of users, including the role of technology in the blossoming and disintegration of relationships, exemplified by the story "Cat Person." It contrasts the potential outcomes of relationships in the current technological landscape versus the pre-smartphone era, emphasizing the shift in priorities from mutual trust and respect to desire and desirability. The reflection highlights how technology has commodified romance, influencing how individuals seek and experience intimacy, and how this has changed the nature of relationships.

READING REFLECTION
1. Define the concepts of "liquid love" and "confluent love" mentioned in the
Hobbs article, and explain whether the authors' results support or challenge
the validity of these concepts.
The concept of love has widely changed in today's socially disturbed and
technologically advanced generation where the traditional concept of courtship has
now transformed into a commodified game through dating. Various researches have
been conducted in this regard to explain such change in the behavioural pattern of
human beings and therefore, the concept of “liquid love” and “confluent love” has
emerged.
Liquid love denotes getting into a relationship using internet technology and various
computer applications where people interact with each other with the intention of
short-term partnership for the purpose of hook-up. The essence of liquid love is
ingrained in human being’s eternal pursuit of sex and intimacy. The terminology,
liquid love have emerged due to the factor that individualism and social changes
have liquefied the solidity and security as was found in romantic relationships and
family structures years back (Hobbs et al).
On the other hand, confluent love may be referred to as the active and contingent
partnership which is distant from the concept of romantic love. In confluent love,
people invest energy and time into the relationship as long as they gain benefits out
of the same. Once the relationship is not beneficial for any of the parties, the
individual aims to look for alternatives. Such pursuit of happiness forms the
foundation of the person’s subsequent relationship (Hobbs et al).
The authors’ result, as exhibited in their research work, well supports the concept of
liquid love. Authors are of the opinion that the purity of romanticism has lost in
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translation from courtship to dating where mutual respect and bonding have
somewhere lost its gravity and importance to the people.
2. How have dating apps changed the nature of our romantic relationships and
sense of intimacy, according to Hobbs et al.? Provide at least THREE
examples from their article.
The commodification of romantic relationship with the use of technology has liquefied
the intensity of pure romanticism. In today's complex world, people may prefer to
meet their sexual needs from people through a negotiated deal where apparent love
plays an important criterion for sexual acts like hook-ups. Various mobile
applications such as Tinder etc have emerged which provide dating services. It has
been observed that “Tinder” has been one of the most popular platforms with almost
84% of US youth using the same. “OkCupid” and “Happn” follow second and third
positions respectively in the US in terms of their respective usage. These dating
apps have changed the nature of romantic relationship to an extent. For example,
the users of these apps think that these applications provide them with the
opportunity to find more and prospective partners in their sexual activity
(Roupenian). Secondly, users also think that they can set clear expectations as to
whom and how they want to hook-up. In this context, it may be noted that the
concept of hook-up is related to desire and desirability. Thirdly, there have been
dissatisfactions too among the users and they have uninstalled the apps after bad
encounters.
3. Describe in detail the role that technology played in both the blossoming
and disintegration of the romance between Margot and Robert. How would
their relationship have gone differently if it happened twenty years ago (before
smartphones)?
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The story “Cat Person” by Kristen Roupenian has been widely circulated among
social media users a few years back. The story revolves around two persons namely
Margot and Robert who met with each other using dating apps. The story and their
love blossomed and they met with each other and had sex number of times.
However, the essence of the story lies in the fact that women face several
encounters of an unpleasant sexual affair with men several times and this story is
one of such examples.
In today's technology-enabled world people have become choosier when it comes to
finding out their dating partners and desire and desirability supersedes mutual trust,
respect and romanticism in the relationship. The story of Cat Person ends when
Robert uses slang words to Margot and Margot denies any relationship with Robert.
Such a tragic ending raises a question that whether the relationship that started by
using a dating app is at all a viable one or not. In this context, it may be stated that
the relationship could have been different if they would have made with each other
20 years ago where these dating apps did not exist. In such a scenario, the
desirability of both people would have been radically different from that of the
present one.
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References
Hobbs, Mitchell, Stephen Owen, and Livia Gerber. "Liquid love? Dating apps, sex,
relationships and the digital transformation of intimacy." Journal of Sociology 53.2
(2017): 271-284.
Roupenian, Kristen. Cat person. Random House, 2018.
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