Ethics in Counselling: Exploring Personal Ethical Framework

This essay presents a personal reflection on the ethical development of a counselling student, exploring the various influences that shaped their moral values and ethical thinking. The student, a Ceylonese born in Malaysia, details the impact of their family, including parents and grandparents, cultural background, religious beliefs, education, and personal experiences such as travel and relationships. The essay is structured around an ethical family tree metaphor, with roots representing foundational influences, the trunk signifying significant relationships, branches symbolizing social connections, and leaves representing the student's current values and qualities. The student discusses the importance of church, family business, movies, cartoons, music, and travel in shaping their ethical framework. The essay highlights the role of parental strictness, the value of time spent with grandparents, exposure to different cultures, the influence of religion, and the impact of personal experiences, including an abusive marriage, on their understanding of ethics. The reflection offers insights into how these diverse experiences have contributed to the student's development as a future counselor, emphasizing qualities such as kindness, compassion, and cultural sensitivity. The student shares how the experiences have shaped their ethical framework and prepared them for a career in counselling.

Ethics in Counselling
Student’s Name:
Institutional Affiliation:

Introduction
While growing up, my experiences and people around me impacted my ethical thinking
and morals. Some of the individuals who had an impact on my life included my father, mother,
and grandmother. Ethnically, I am a Ceylonese, born in Malaysia, raised and schooled in Penang,
Malaysia. I was born to a Hindu Father and a Christian Mother. My mother was very strict and
did not allow me to mix freely with friends after the school hours. Therefore, after the school
hours, I would spend time with my grandparents, the house help, my pets, and the two mango
trees in our yard. In this reflection, I would like to explain and explore people and my
environment that impacted my ethical thinking and my moral values. The ethical family tree is
parted in four parts, the roots, the trunk, the branch and the leaves.
My ethical family tree
Roots
My ethical family tree begins with the roots. Just like the roots of a tree anchors and
provides nutrients to the whole plant, my ethical roots have supported and nurtured me
throughout my life. My ethical roots comprise of my parents, my grandmother, Malaysia, Family
business, God, movies, schooling, Brian, Australia, Music, and the United Kingdom. Attending
church has shaped my decision-making process, values, ethical thinking. Also, it has enabled me
to create a guideline for making ethical decisions based on moral and biblical principles.
Ministers and speakers such as Joel Osteen, TD Jakes, and Joyce Mayer have helped to create a
meaning to my everyday life. They have helped me to deliberate and form sound judgments
regarding the right and wrong aspects of life. To some degree, they have helped me to

incorporate ethical thinking in decision-making, forgive myself and others and so on.
Understanding the word of God and His Kingdom has enabled me to follow the teachings of
Jesus and to discover my hidden potential.
Trunk
My parents weresignificant in my life. They had an impact on my inner development as
an individual. My father the loving provider, who worked as a project manager away from home
and my mother was the administrator of her pre-school business. She was strict and demanded
perfection. Somehow, her strictness molded me to be the stubborn person I am today.My parents
fostered a strong bond between my grandparents and me.
During the holidays, I spent some decent time with my grandparents. My
grandmother,who plays a significant part of my life, was a nurse while my grandfather was a
doctor. I felt the freedom of being away from home. I loved visiting my grandparents. It was so
much fun to visit Dublin Estate, a rubber estate where my grandparents were posted for their
jobs. When allowed to play, I used to have lots of fun playing with estate kids freely without
judgmental mind because my mother was so strict on not playing with Indian girls at school
especially if they are from lower classes. I felt extremely despondent because I was torn between
saying no to my friends when invited and obeying my parents. I took also took great pleasure
helping my grandparents handing out vitamins patients in the Dublin Estate hospital during
1980’s when rules were not as stringent. Spending time with my grandparents helped me build
my social and emotional intelligence, along with real and lasting memories. It also helped me
discover and appreciate my roots. According to some researchers, children have a sense of
acceptance and inclination to their grandparents, which helps them develop both emotionally and

mentally(McLeod, 2013). This was also the case for me. The precious time I spent with my
grandparents fostered my ethical and moral thinking. My grandparents were my role models,
mentors, and they were always there for me when I needed their support. In fact, the time I spent
with my grandparents formed my fondest and earliest memories that helped to shape my moral
identity.Through my grandparents, I learned the virtues of kindness and compassion since my
grandparents were always giving and helping the poor.
The time I spend in Malaysia from birth exposed me to different cultures, festivals, foods,
languages, and religions. I was able to appreciate and accept other cultures. Also, I was able to
recognize and relate with their festivals, foods, and languages. Learning about different races
enabled me to increase my horizons, connect and communicate better on a personal level easily,
and improve my interpersonal dialogue. This drove a lot of my cultural appreciation and
curiosity.My cultural sensitivity grew in the process. I was able to comprehend and relate to what
some thinkers say; putting aside any biases and prejudices helps one listen more to people, talk
and accept other cultures.
Our family business acted as a stepping stone to learning all there is to know regarding
money, financial discernment, the hiring of staff, day to day administration and conducting the
Montessoricurriculum. My Mom’s preschool business opened my world and gave me a platform
to observe and actively interact with all sorts of people and children, in particular on the
parents’and sports days where the expectations were quite high. A lot of energy was needed for
the smooth running and success of these days. I was always certainly placed in charge of all the
administrative activities when my mother was away. I was responsible for identifying the
students who had not cleared their fees and issuing receipts when my mom either busy or

away.My mom was always kind to the staff members who were not well of financially and the
children who could not afford to pay fees for the month.Conventional ethics and wisdom begin
when someone can successfully run family matters and businesses. The ability to run a business
at a young age and within ethical confines determines the entrepreneurial success of a business
owner in the future.A learned this and much more from our family business.
I accepted Jesus during my high school years at the age of 13. I had restrictions reading
the Bible and going to church by my Father hence reading the Bible became one of my interests.
More often, I felt the search of who God is was a part of me. Somehow, it shaped ethics and
morals in one way or another.Knowing God has provided me with a moral map that I can use to
find my way. I felt that God was always with me. The Bible provided me with answers to
complicated ethical and social questions. The book of Psalms chapters 23, 103, and 121 gave me
hope and help. The Faith impacted in me by the Bible has always led me to question and
appreciate everything.Knowing God and what it means to be Christian had a transforming effect
on me. It helped me to develop morally, spiritually, and also make bold moves. I realized that the
people who do not know God are dissatisfied with life and degenerate into wickedness (Tribe &
Morrissey, 2015). This observation increased my thirst of knowing God day by day. Also,
knowing God enabled me to develop resilience to the ups and downs in life, derive a meaning
from my life journey and understand that there is something I ought to give.
The movies, cartoons, documentaries, and news also inculcated some fundamental values
in me. Through the news, I was able to find out more about my immediate environment and
outside world. The process of making the world better and overcoming problems needs a sound
knowledge of what is happening in the world (Notko, Jokinen, Malinen, Harju-

Veijola,Kuronen&Pirskanen, 2013). I was able to know all the wrong things and what was
causing the global challenges to increase. Documentaries created another way of learning about
the culture, religion, and languages of other people. Also, the documentaries enabled me to
generate interest in other cultures and subjects such as languages and culture. Viewing
documentaries as a family helps each member of the family express their opinions and eventually
strengthen their family bond. At the moment, my favorite documentaries were about Wild life,
history and motivational talks from Dr. Phil and Oprah. I had two influential women in my life
growing up, my mom and Oprah Winfrey. Oprah Winfrey played one of the major positive roles
in my life. Through her programs, I learned some key facts about life. Anybody, whether a fan or
not, will agree that Oprah changes lives, beginning with her own. Her real life of rags-to-riches
and success taught me the power of courage, choice, and following dreams. She made what
seems impossible happen to me. As a child, the cartoons were the source of humor in my life.
They were an essential part of my mental and physical growth. The cartoons engage the children
and build curiosity in them.
Brian was my mathematics’ home tutor. However, out teacher-student relationship later
developed into a love story at a tender age of 16 years old. My love for him was so intense that I
even forgot to honor and love my parents. My marriage to Brian was abusive, to say the least.
The abuse often resulted to punches, screams, and blood. Eventually, the abuse had a significant
impact on my life. It reduced the quality of my life and well-being. However, it helped me
experience the hard part of lifeI was able to learn about the importance being wise when
choosing a marriage partner and the value of self-respect. Moreover, my marriage life taught me
to be compassionate. I developed a strong desire to advocate against violence in marriages and

make life more bearable. During my marriage life, I led a double life: a life of violence and fear
at home and a different one in front of the society. As a staunch Christian, I knew it was against
the Bible and culture to go for a divorce. The sorrow and shame that would come along with it
would even be more detrimental. Quitting the abusive marriage was difficult, but I did it
eventually. It was one of the most challenging decisions I had to make in my life.
The music provided me with a unique opportunity relax my brain and manifest my
unspoken desire. Listening to music enabled me to break the boundaries of different cultures and
backgrounds. Indeed, music is an essential part of peoples’ lives that is capable of instituting
international brotherhood and bonding people (McMahon, 2014). Australia was my first-time
travel destination. At that point, I was 15 years old and accompanied by my 12-year-old brother.
This was one of the moments I enjoyed the freedom of an adult. I traveled to the United
Kingdom for my studies. This time I was alone, and I enjoyed the whole experience. In fact, my
time in the UK was one of the best moments in my life. I made great friends and loved the
culture of the people at that place.The holiday tours acted as an eye-opener; they exposed me to
different foods, cultures, and languages. I felt the fun of immersing myself in a new culture and
discovering unfamiliar territories. The travel experiences reshaped how I felt about my cultural
identity. I felt different and started to look at life from entirely new vantage points.
The branches
My friends and teachers acted as the branches of my family ethical tree. The friends gave
me good advice that I could rely upon. The friends also enabled me to develop socially and feel
secure. The moments we shared had a lasting memory in me. Friends are the glue that sticks the
faith and life together (Proctor, 2014). The teachers in my life were quick to note the high impact

of friends in my life. As a student, I was keen to choose my friends. Teachers changed my life
for the better. The teachers in my life were responsible for academic enrichment and moral
development.
The leaves
My life has been a worthwhile journey. A trip that has enabled me to gain some values
and qualities a counselor should possess, along with essential attitudes that will positively impact
my clients. The values I have achieved during my journey from the roots to the trunk and finally
to the leaves will be the basis of building a rapport with my clients and manifesting the values of
appreciation, kindness, anticipation, receptiveness, and forgiveness. I also believe that the values
I have acquired through attending church services, listening to motivational speakers such as Joel
Osteen, TD Jakes, and Joyce Mayer will enable me to be the light and salt of the world.
Impact of the values
The values, attitudes, and beliefs that I have developed over the course of my life may
have an impact on my professional practice. My professionalism and view of the world will
depend on how I interact with my family, community, and friends. For instance, if I were to be a
community service worker, I would need to be aware of my values, attitudes, and beliefs to
provide the desired needs of the people (Banks, 2012). Moreover, I would need to be
professional when handling people from different cultures and races. The values acquired during
the running of the family business will help me run a business in future, ethically and
professionally.

References
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McMahon, G. (2014). Handbook of counselling. Routledge.
Notko, M., Jokinen, K., Malinen, K., Harju-Veijola, M., Kuronen, M., &Pirskanen, H. (2013).
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