Stressors and Challenges in Elderly Singaporean Family Life Cycle

This report presents a detailed analysis of an elderly Malay couple's family life cycle in Singapore, utilizing the family life cycle theory as a framework to identify stressors and challenges. The study incorporates a structured interview based on the bio-psycho-socio-spiritual model to assess the couple's situation. The report examines the couple's journey through various life stages, including their migration to Singapore, career development, marriage, raising children, and dealing with the loss of a child. It highlights the impact of these events on their relationship and well-being. The report recommends a second-order change to address the identified challenges and concludes with reflections on the interview process, including the couple's behavioral approach. The analysis aims to provide insights into social group work and intervention strategies for supporting families in similar circumstances.

0SOCIAL GROUP WORK AND INTERVENTION
Social Group work and Intervention
Name of the Student
Name of the University
Author Note

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Executive Summary
The family forms an important unit of society and the family life cycle theory is a useful way by
which stressors and challenges in a family unit can be detected. This report makes use of a
structured interview based on the bio-psycho-socio-spiritual model and an in-depth analysis of
this interview to determine stressors or challenges within a family unit comprising of two elderly
Malay people living in Singapore today. A second order change needed for the family to
overcome its challenges is recommended and the report also reflects in conclusion about the
behavioral approach of the couple towards the interview process, how indicative it is of the
challenges they face etc.

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Table of Contents
1. Introduction..............................................................................................................................3
2. Determining Stressors/Challengers in a Family using the Family Life Cycle Theory............4
2.1. Leaving Home: Single Young Adults...............................................................................4
2.2. Joining of Families through partnership...........................................................................5
2.3. Families with Children......................................................................................................5
2.4. Families with Young Children..........................................................................................6
2.5. Launching Children and Moving On................................................................................7
2.6. Families in Later Life........................................................................................................7
2.7. The Need for Second Order Change.................................................................................8
3. Interviewing the Couple using the bio-psycho-socio-spiritual model......................................8
4. Reflections on the Interview...................................................................................................10
References and Bibliography.........................................................................................................11

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1. Introduction
The family lifecycle theory is often referred to as a process by which a series of changes
takes place in the family structure all of which are heavily prompted by the developmental
needs of the family. This is a process that includes the broadening, contracting as well as
realigning of various family relationship patterns for the purpose of supporting the exit, the
entry as well as the development of the different members of family in a manner that is
healthy and constructive (Greene, 2017). Such spiraling gives members within the family the
scope or the opportunity to work on as well as rework issues of individuality and closeness.
A number of symptoms are seen to arise for families and individuals when a derailment
occurs in the family cycle, when the family loses its sense of movement in course of time,
that is when things happen that are not supposed to be happening, when the family is unable
to cater to the developmental needs of a vital member of the family and when the person
whose developmental needs are not met is also not able to meet the needs and requirements
of his or her family members. In the latter situation, the members of the family who are not
able to meet the needs of this particular family member become symptomatic and what
ensues is a dysfunctional transactional spiral that forms an unhealthy but inevitable element
of the family cycle (Le-Bretton Miller & Miller, 2015). This report provides an overview of
an interview conducted with a family comprising of two persons, an elderly couple, living in
Singapore and indicates all the stressors and the challengers faced by the family using the
family cycle theory. The report then highlights the second order change needed for the family
to successfully transit through this life stage, provides an assessment of the family using a
structured interview method based on the bio-psycho-social-spiritual model and concludes by

4SOCIAL GROUP WORK AND INTERVENTION
reflecting on the engagement with the family based on rapport, interview structure, clarity of
questions and the manner in which questions are put across.
2. Determining Stressors/Challengers in a Family using the Family Life
Cycle Theory
The family cycle theory is characterized by five important stages (Becvar & Becvar,
2017). The first stage involves leaving home as single young adults. This is the time when
individuals disconnect and connect with their family while being their own person all at the
same time. The second stage involves the joining of families through partnership. This is
when adjustment and adaptation takes place. The third stage is known as families with young
children. During this stage new members are accepted into the family system. The fourth
stage is called families with adolescents. In this stage boundaries are flexed for the
independence of children and grandparents become frail. The fourth stage is known
launching children and moving on. This is when entries to and exits from the family system
are accepted. The fifth stage is families in later life. During this time shifting generational
roles are accepted (Bodie, 2015). Using these five stages of the family life cycle theory, the
couple interviewed for this assessment in Singapore will be analyzed.
2.1. Leaving Home: Single Young Adults
The family interviewed for assessment has been living in Singapore for the last fifty odd
years. They started out as a young and ambitious couple from Malaysia who had individually
migrated to Singapore for the purpose of taking up higher studies and fell in love when they met
on campus at the National University of Singapore. Both the man and the woman are native
Malays and had a lot in common with each other culturally, ethnically and religiously (Kotlikoff,

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2016). Both of them could easily identify with the challenges of making it big professionally and
otherwise in a country that was different from their own and were able to overcome many of the
issues and the challenges that migrants face in a new country of residence because of their love
and support for one another. During their days as young and ambitious students in Singapore,
they could relate easily to their peers in Singapore city and made many common friends. The
wife was particularly a huge favorite among their friends circle in Singapore because of her
fantastic ability to sing and dance and her husband was hugely popular among of his ability to
play the guitar. He would play while she would sing and with their charming nature and musical
talents they were able to attract huge numbers of people to become a part of their social circle.
Their independence in the new country gave them a lot of confidence and happiness and they
were able to graduate well enough from university in Singapore and take up professions that
were suited for their abilities. They both landed positions in the banking and finance sector in
Singapore, something that make them quite an incredible couple as they were able to support
each financially very well at the time, without relying on their parents and extended family in
Malaysia and were even doing better than most other couples their age or a little older in
Singapore. They were brash, brazen and confident and felt at this stage of their life together that
they could achieve just about anything. After two years of successfully working together, the
couple decided that the time was right to settle down and create a beautiful family, while
maintaining their jobs at the same time (Lesser et al., 2015).
2.2. Joining of Families through partnership
Upon getting married, there was not a lot of adjustment that the couple had to make in
relation to their friends and their peers. This is because they belonged to a common friend circle
prior to marriage itself since they had been in a relationship in Singapore even since their student

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days. Their close friends were known to one another so there was no need for one person to
adapt to the set of friends that the other person had. When it came to adjusting to family
members, there was not much compromise there either. Both the man and the woman are Malays
and at the time of marriage were united by a common culture (Morgan, 2014). Neither of them
had to change their religion after marriage and culturally, their parents accepted both of them in
unison as there was no conflict that was seen to arise with respect to differences in the cultural
backgrounds of families.
2.3. Families with Children
Within six months of getting married, the Malay couple in Singapore that was
interviewed for this assessment decided that the time was ripe for having children. Being an
ambitious couple, they were not prepared for the challenges that parenthood was likely to bring
for them. After nine months passed, the couple gave birth to a set of twins. They were of course
over the moon about it. However, the lady had to give up her job at the bank in order to dedicate
her efforts towards being a full time mother. This was difficult for her because she was so used
to having a good job, a good set of professional colleagues and friends and most importantly a
steady and terrific source of income, which was now no longer available at her disposal. Raising
two children was not a mean task and there was plenty of running around that she had to do in
order to give both her babies the attention that they deserved while her husband was busy at his
day job. While her parents and her in-laws did help out to a considerable extent by visiting her in
Singapore and babysitting the children, there was a lot of adjustment that both she had to go
through in terms of getting used to a new set of family members in the house, their babies, giving
up on one major source of income, and being housebound. As new first time parents, they could
no longer enjoy the social life that they once had.

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2.4. Families with Young Children
The Malay couple in Singapore devoted the next twenty years of their life into raising
two beautiful twin children, one girl and one boy. They grew into fabulous young adults, did
very well in school and graduated well enough to be accepted into the National University of
Singapore at the age of eighteen just like their parents. The children were not troublesome in
their growing years as revealed by their parents. They did not take to drugs and alcohol at a
tender age and while they had a good circle of friends and a decent social life, they did not go
overboard and had no tendency to party hard, stay out late in the night or break rules. Upon
graduating from the National University of Singapore, both children decided to emigrate to the
United States of America for higher studies. Their parents were left alone to their own devices
after a very long time and it was not easy for them to see their children leave the home after
having stayed with them for so long. It was emotionally and mentally a turbulent time for the
Malay couple as the house grew quieter and they were not able to laugh and joke or feel as good
as they would when their children were around (Petronio, 2017).
2.5. Launching Children and Moving On
After a few months had passed since their children left the home for another country, the
couple accepted their exit silently and decided to spend more quality time with each other. The
wife took to teaching banking courses part time at a local school based on her qualifications and
work experience in the sector while the man retired from his job with decent savings. They did
not have to worry about financing their children’s education in the new country as their children
had taken loans to support themselves. Within the next three years tragedy struck and the couple
received their news of their son having died in the USA because of a car accident. The loss made

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the couple numb with grief and although they had each other to turn to for support, they only
became more distant from one another, unable to control the pain that the loss brought them.
2.6. Families in Later Life
Things became worse down the line. While they had their daughter to give them comfort
over phone and email, the couple lost both their sets of parents as a result of prolonged illness
and themselves had to combat with the challenges of old age like rheumatism, arthritis and night
time blindness (Titelman, 2014). Their movements became restricted to the home for the most
part, leaving the house only to purchase groceries and other things needed for running the
household. Their daughter got married and settled down in the USA. Things became slightly
better for them after she gave birth to a child and the couple became grandparents for the first
time. However, they were not willing to fly to the USA and see their grandchild as the loss of
their son is too difficult for them to do so. Their daughter visits them three times a year but today
the couple, are disconnected from each other, each grieving for their lost child, their son in their
own individual way. They are no longer the support system for each other that they once were
(Sampson, 2017).
2.7. The Need for Second Order Change
The second order change that the family needs to go through to overcome the difficult
transition brought to the family by the loss of their loss is loving and gentle communication.
When the woman is down and the man is down, he should consider cooking her, her favorite
meal and this may just improve her mood considerably. When he sits looking out at the window
on a cold winter’s night, she needs to hold his hand and tell him that she loves him instead of
moving away from him and retiring to bed (Soust-Verdaguer et al., 2016).

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3. Interviewing the Couple using the bio-psycho-socio-spiritual model
Q1. Has there been any history of family trauma or suicide attempts?
A1. None
Q2. Did you smoke and drink during pregnancy?
A1. No.
Q3. Were there any complications during childbirth?
A3. Labor pains were greater than anticipated. The delivery took at least six to eight hours to
complete, so yes it was painful but not complicated.
Q4. Have you had any major illnesses in your life like epilepsy or malignancy?
A4. No
Q5. What is the present status of your health right now? Are there any major illnesses that you
are suffering from?
A5. Rheumatism is common for both of us. My husband has more severe bouts of it than I do. I
am also unable to see very well in the night.
Q6. Are you both taking any prescribed medication?
A6. No. We believe in alternative medication as it is less harmful than regular medication.
Q7. How were you both treated as children when young? Were there any losses that either of you
had to cope with.

10SOCIAL GROUP WORK AND INTERVENTION
A7. None whatsoever. Both my wife and I had a smooth and happy childhood. We both had
caring and loving sets of parents who were ambitious and wanted the best for us. They wanted us
to pursue careers and find happiness in Singapore and have the opportunities they never did. We
studied in Singapore, met, fell in love, and pursued careers in the banking sector. We had a great
circle of common friends. I used to play the guitar, my wife used to sing and dance beautifully.
We were so happy.
Q8. Did you experience loss after marriage?
A8. The initial years after marriage were great. We had a happy family with two young children.
Although my wife gave up working after child birth and there were initial insecurities regarding
income, we managed to work through that issue. Both our children left Singapore at age 21 for
the USA for higher studies after graduating very well from the National University of Singapore,
just like we did, but within three years we lost our son to a car accident in the USA. We have not
been able to accept that loss till today.
Q9. Who is it that you turn to for support? Do you have extended family?
A9. No, my wife and I have to rely on one another for support. Our daughter visits us sometimes
but not very frequently.
Q10. Tell me about what your financial situation is like?
A10. We are comfortable financially as we both had great jobs prior to retirement. Our daughter
also sends us money from the USA. She is working there as a doctor. Sometimes my wife works
part time as a teaching in banking studies. I am retired but have managed to save enough from
my work life to keep us secure now.

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Q11. Do you have any spiritual belief system?
A11. My wife and I are atheists. We are non believers you can say.
Q12. Were you both religious when young?
A12. Yes we come from traditional Malay Muslim families where religion forms an important
part of daily life. However, my husband and I decided to do away with religion when we met and
entered into a partnership here in Singapore.
4. Reflections on the Interview
The engagement skills deployed for interviewing the Malay couple included attention,
empathy, patience, understanding and careful listening. The Malay couple was interviewed using
the bio-psycho-socio-spiritual model. Some of the engagement skills that were employed in
order to undertake this interview include attentive listening, empathy, patience, trust and
adaptability, all of which helped in getting the couple to open about themselves and their family
life. It is clear from the answers that they gave that they both enjoyed a happy and healthy
childhood, that they had a great run in their initial years in Singapore and that tragedy struck
them only later in life when their son died in the USA. The couple was quite matter of fact and
forthcoming in their answers but kept their answers very short. A lot had to be deciphered and
analyzed from what they had to say. The sadness is evident in the way they spoke about their
son. It is clear from their answers and their expressions that they are not able to cope with this
loss and that they really need to improve their communication with each other in their twilight
years in order to accept their fate and find love, happiness and comfort in each other once again.