Love and Sex: Philosophical Analysis of 'Her' and Sternberg's Theory

This essay delves into the complex relationship between love and sex from a philosophical standpoint, using the film 'Her' as a primary example. It examines how societal shifts and evolving perspectives on sexuality have influenced modern relationships, particularly in the context of the film's portrayal of a man's relationship with an AI assistant. The essay analyzes the film's characters and their interactions, focusing on the application of Robert Sternberg's Triarchic Theory of Love, which encompasses intimacy, passion, and commitment. By applying this theory, the essay argues that the film effectively illustrates the multifaceted nature of love, highlighting both its emotional and physical dimensions, and the importance of these elements in sustaining a meaningful connection. The analysis concludes that the film reflects the enduring human desire for love, emphasizing its importance in seeking fulfillment beyond mere physical attraction.

Running head: LOVE AND SEX
LOVE AND SEX
Name of the Student
Name of the University
Author Note

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Introduction
This particular essay seeks to show the symbiotic relationship between love and sex from
a philosophical perspective. In this age sexuality which is purely a physical urge and love which
is more emotional and platonic in nature have become synonymous because of sex being easily
available at the easiest behest. Theories of love provide a better understanding of it and shall be
discussed in the following sections. Given the level of complexity that has pervaded the lives of
the people that the personal relationships of the people are being affected by it and that is being
manifested in the spousal relationships. The contemporary period provides relatively more
leverage to the people to explore their instincts and as a result of it people are exploring their
sexuality and their romantic inclinations which were otherwise considered to be perversion and
deviation in the bygone era. These deviations and paradigmatic shifts have been explained using
the philosophical means to arrive at theories of love.
In this essay a film by the name ‘Her’ shall be analyzed against theories of love in the
following sections to show the relationship between love and sex. The thesis statement for this
particular essay shall be explain the theory of love that is apt for the chosen film and the reason
behind considering the theory of love as apt for explaining the expressing the form of love
expressed in the film shall also be provided.
Explanation of the Loving Relationship between the characters in the film
The film ‘Her’ revolves around the love story of a man who has been divorced by his
wife with a robotic, artificial intelligence powered personal assistant designed to impersonate a
biological woman from the visual and the audible angle. The love between the male protagonist

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Theodore and the artificial intelligence powered personal assistant named Samantha is the central
aspect of love in the film, which tends to provide the meaning of love the film had wanted to
convey ("Her - (HD) Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams", 2019).
The kind of love that has been shown in the film is the conventional form of love which
human beings desire, monogamous and the desire for a conjugal and emotional with one person
throughout one’s life. The male protagonist Theodore had been unable to find that one woman
in his life, hence he had sought to create a Artificial Intelligence powered personal assistant who
personified a female figure with a female voice named as Samantha. The relationship between
the human and robot impersonating a female figure was indeed a loving one as the male
protagonist Theodore had tended to develop insecurities at the thought of getting estranged from
Samantha. The platonic and emotional quotient of the love affair had been more important than
the physical ones (Sternberg, 2018).
Apart from that the relationship between Samantha and Theodore tends to convey that the
unfathomable human expectations for perfection in a partner and the lack of it leading to the
falling apart of the relationship shows that the element of compromise is missing in human
beings in the contemporary times. The relationship between Theodore and Samantha went about
smoothly as there was no scope for compromise in the relationship and things went smoothly
between them without any skirmishes. Had there been skirmishes, then their relationship too
would have fallen apart, like Theodore’s relationship with his wife ended up in divorce.
However, the film ends on a positive note with Theodore apologizing to his wife after the
departure of Samantha to the world of aliens (Sternberg & Sternberg, 2018).
.

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Application of a Theory of Love to demonstrate the love between the characters of
the film
The theory of love which is applicable in this context is the Triarchic Theory of Love
proposed by Robert Sternberg. According to his theorization, love is a complete package which
takes into consideration three key ingredients, namely, intimacy, passion and commitment. These
are the three pillars that make love and also the substance which contributes to the building up of
a healthy relationship and ensuring its sustenance. By intimacy, Sternberg had wanted to imply
both physical intimacy expressed in form of sexual intercourse in between the partners and the
emotional aspect as well. By passion, Sternberg had implied the element of novelty and newness
in the relationship which shall draw the ones in the relationship together and tightly bound to
each other. When the element of passion is cut off from the relationship, it tends to fall apart. By
commitment, Sternberg had implied the promise between the partners to be with each other
through difficult and pleasant times, and less propensity to leave other in search of another
partner. There is a fine balance of emotionality and sexuality in his theorization and the
symbiotic relationship between emotions and physicality can be found (Sternberg & Sternberg,
2018).
Argument supporting the choice of the Theory of Love for explaining the love
between the characters of the film
The three elements which Sternberg has talked about in his theorization is present in the
love between Theodore and Samantha. There was intimacy between Theodore and Samantha
both of physical and emotional nature and Samantha was thus the perfect prototype of what
Theodore wanted in his ideal partner. There was passion between the two and the very fact that

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Theodore was attracted to Samantha a robot more than any human despite her advice to
Theodore to indulge in love with his childhood friend Amy who was also getting divorced. This
shows that Theodore was passionately attached to Samantha. The commitment of Theodore
towards Samantha was very much evident in the fact that he found it difficult to remain away
from her (Anderson, 2016).
Conclusion
Thus at the concluding section it can be said that the conventional definition of love is
very much in vogue in today’s world as well. That is in human nature to seek pleasures beyond
the physical ones has been made evident in the film and also that relationship is different from
mere physical attraction, it is a symbiosis of love of both physical and emotional nature.

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References

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References
Anderson, J. W. (2016). S ternberg's Triangular Theory of Love. Encyclopedia of Family
Studies, 1-3.
Her - Official Trailer (HD) Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams. (2019). Retrieved from
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzV6mXIOVl4
Sternberg, R. J. (2018). Duplex theory of love: Triangular theory of love and theory of love as a
story.
Sternberg, R. J., & Sternberg, K. (Eds.). (2018). The new psychology of love. Cambridge
University Press.