Analysis of Work Schedule Preferences for Individuals Over 40

The assignment is a well-structured essay that examines whether people over 40 should spend three days per week in leisure. The work includes an introduction highlighting key components and objectives, followed by a coherent argument supported by survey data to enhance significance. The research section showcases minimal factual errors with reliable sources, while the presentation could benefit from clearer linkage between paragraphs and better grammatical structuring. A strong closing paragraph effectively summarizes and concludes the findings. Feedback suggests improvements in clarity, connection, use of current references, and enhancement of research techniques.

Feedback
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Section/Concept Mark (100) Comment
Title 3/4 The selected title is relevant to
the work done, and it also
reflects one of the required
components as described in
the requirement files.
Opening paragraph 11/12 Two of the critical
components are highlighted in
the opening section of the
paragraph. The purposes of
the assignment have been
stated throughout this
paragraph. The primary fact is
that helps in retaining the
interest of the reader's.
Argument 21/24 The coherent argument was
made, and it was strict as per
the question that whether
people over 40 years should
spend three days in a week.
The data collected through
survey helped in enhancing
the significance of argument
made.
Research 16/20 Less factual errors are
encountered, and sources are
provided for each of the
assertions concerned. The
qualities of the sources are
reliable to enhance the quality
of the task. The solution
provided also reflected that the
effectual research was
conducted to get the desired
result for the question.
Presentation 16/20 There are few of the areas
where improvement can be
made regarding the
presentation of the task. Few
of the unclear parts need to be
rectified, and the linkage
between the different
paragraphs needs to be more
appropriate. The grammatical
points and sentence formatting
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along with the use of
conjunctions needs to be
analyzed properly. There are
less cosmetic grammatical
errors, and therefore the
chances of improving the
overall presentation are more.
Closing paragraph 10/12 Vital components as revealed
throughout the paper have
been highlighted. The closing
paragraph helps in providing
the desired summary of the
entire task executed. The
results have been concluded
with the closing paragraph,
and they are adequate as per
the research conducted.
Referencing 6/8 The references used as more
accurate as per the task and
particular sentences are
reference s properly. The
format of reference is proper,
but one of the references used
is older than 2011. The
referencing of the particular
sentences enhances the quality
of the work.
Prioritized suggestions for improvement
1. The tasks should be more concise and clear concerning the desired question as
highlighted in the requirement file.
2. There should be a use of more appropriate words and lower of the factual errors will help
in improving the overall quality of the assignment. The connection between the
paragraphs needs to be enhanced more appropriately.
3. The references provided are satisfactory, but older references need to be avoided as to
make the content more unique and latest. Adding to the few more references would have
increased the quality of the paper.
4. There is crucial requirement to increase the techniques of researching a particular topic.
Use of the latest journals and article will help in providing more uniqueness to the
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assignment. Use of websites such as Wikipedia should be ignored as they retain edited
content which may include proper, improper information about the task.
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