Boosting Your Emotional Intelligence: How to Develop Strong Relationships and Manage Difficult Situations

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By the
Mind Tools
Content Team
By the Mind Tools Content Team
How Emotionally Intelligent
Are You?
Boosting Your People Skills
We all know people who are in full control of their
emotions. They're calm in a crisis, and they make decisions
sensitively, however stressful the situation.
We also know people who can read the emotions of others. They understand what to say to
make people feel better, and they know how to inspire them to take action.
People like this have high emotional intelligence (or EI). They have strong relationships, and
they manage difficult situations calmly and effectively. They're also likely to be resilient in the
face of adversity.
So, how emotionally intelligent are you, and how can you develop further? Find out below.
How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?
Instructions
Evaluate each statement as you actually are, rather than as you think you should be. When
you've finished, click "Calculate My Total," and use the table that follows to think about next
steps.
15 Statements to Answer Not at All Rarely Sometimes Often Very
Often

I can recognize my emotions as I experience them.
1
I lose my temper when I feel frustrated.
2
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Calculate My Total Total = 50
15 Statements to Answer Not at All Rarely Sometimes Often Very
Often
Score Interpretation
Score Comment
People have told me that I'm a good listener.
3
I know how to calm myself down when I feel anxious
or upset.
4
I enjoy organizing groups.
5
I find it hard to focus on something over the long
term.
6
I find it difficult to move on when I feel frustrated or
unhappy.
7
I know my strengths and weaknesses.
8
I avoid conflict and negotiations.
9
I feel that I don't enjoy my work.
10
I ask people for feedback on what I do well, and
how I can improve.
11
I set long-term goals, and review my progress
regularly.
12
I find it difficult to read other people's emotions.
13
I struggle to build rapport with others.
14
I use active listening skills when people speak to
me.
15
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Score Comment
15-34 You need to work on your emotional intelligence. You may find that you feel overwhelmed by your
emotions, especially in stressful situations; or, you may avoid conflict because you think that you'll
find it distressing.
It's likely, too, that you find it hard to calm down after you've felt upset, and you may struggle to
build strong working relationships.
Don't worry – there are plenty of ways that you can build emotional intelligence, starting now.
Read our tips below to find out more.
35-
55
Your emotional intelligence level is... OK.
You probably have good relationships with some of your colleagues, but others may be more
difficult to work with.
The good news is that you have a great opportunity to improve your working relationships
significantly. Read more below to boost your EI still further.
56-75 Great! You're an emotionally intelligent person. You have great relationships, and you probably
find that people approach you for advice.
However, when so many people admire your people skills, it's easy to lose sight of your own
needs. Read our tips below to find out how you can continue to build your EI.
Researchers have found that emotionally intelligent people often have great leadership potential.
Realize this potential by seeking opportunities to improve even further.
Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence
Psychologist Daniel Goleman identified five elements that make up emotional intelligence.
These are:
1. Self-awareness.
2. Self-regulation.
3. Motivation.
4. Empathy.
5. Social skills.
Terms reproduced by permission of Bloomsbury Press.
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