Seven Core Counselling Skills and Dialogue Sample

This report discusses the seven core counselling skills that counsellors must possess and their importance in the counselling process. It also includes a dialogue sample between a counsellor and client discussing self-esteem issues. The dialogue highlights the importance of effective communication and understanding in resolving client's problems.

INTRODCUTION TO
GUIDANCE AND
COUNSELLING

Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION...........................................................................................................................3
MAIN BODY...................................................................................................................................3
Seven Core Counselling Skills.....................................................................................................3
Dialogue between counsellor and client......................................................................................6
CONCLUSION................................................................................................................................8
REFERENCES................................................................................................................................1

INTRODUCTION
The core counselling skills involve some basic and critical skills that the counsellors must
possess in order to perform their task in a better manner. These skills collectively help in making
the entire process more effective and the process of identifying and resolving the issues that the
client is facing (Miller & Moores, 2019). This report will identify the seven core skills that the
counsellors require and their importance in simplifying the task of the counsellor. Further, in this
report, a dialogue sample between the counsellor and client will be presented along with the
appropriate conclusion regarding the use of such skills and dialouge.
MAIN BODY
Seven Core Counselling Skills
The process of counselling is a very detailed and intricate process where the counsellor
must identify and understand the mental frame of the clients and recommend the actions or
activities that their clients must engage in according to the situations thus identified (Watson,
2019). In order to understand these situations better, there are certain additional skills that the
counsellors must integrate with the entire process of listening and understanding the clients.
These skills help the counsellors in asking the right questions and the client feels satisfied that
the counsellor has understood his problem and has given them the correct solution (Ratts & et.al.,
2016). There are broadly seven categories of skills that the counsellors can utilize while
reviewing a client and developing the correct path for recovery of the client:
Attending: When a counsellor is involved in the conversation with client i.e. when the “session”
is going on, there should be no distractions. The counsellor should take into consideration all the
actions or activities that the client in engaging in i.e. how are they talking, are they comfortable
or are they stuttering, whether they are trying to modify what they speak i.e. speaking the half-
truth or are they hiding something. These characteristics, a counsellor would be able to identify
only when they are completely focused on the client (Adekson, 2019). The client would only
open up to the counsellor when they feel that their problems are actually being heard, and the
counsellor would be able to identify and resolve the problem that they are going through. By
using a two-way approach between the client and the counsellor, the recovery process of the
client can be quick which is the ultimate success or motive of the counsellors.
Using Silence: Only listening or always speaking is not the only form of communication that the
counsellors should adopt. Silence is a crucial part that must not be made an awkward situation.

The client should always be given adequate time to contemplate after the counsellor has made
any significant or insightful remark. Further, the silence also acts as a validation point for the
clients where they gain confidence regarding the direction in which the conversation is going
(Drew, Stauffer & Barkley 2017). Further, psychologically as well, it can be stated that when
two or more persons can contemplate in silence without making that awkward or uncomfortable,
they are said to have achieved the highest level of trust with that person where they are no longer
concerned about the communication gaps. When the counsellors and their clients are able to
achieve this level of trust than the entire process of counselling becomes facilitated and
comfortable.
Reflecting along with Paraphrasing: This aspect discusses the art of listening and contemplating
the exchange of conversation that takes place between the counsellor and their client. The
counsellor must be patient while listening to the story of the client i.e. while they are describing
their views, the counsellor must listen to them patiently and not contradict them (Sanabria &
Murray 2018). After the client has spoken completely whatever their part or point of view was,
then the counsellor should state their opinion. This helps in ensuring that the counsellor i.e. the
therapist has completely listened to whatever the client wanted to say and then, they have
communicated the best activity that they could recommend to them. Similarly, paraphrasing
involves repeating in a very concise manner, the key points or activities from the last session in
particular or remembering the entire progress that they have had so far. This act of paraphrasing
helps in reconnecting with the patient as early as possible.
Using Questions and regular clarifications: Often during the process of the question- answer
session, clients express multiple feelings or views and that too in an incoherent or ambiguous
thought process. In order to identify the root cause of problem of the client, counsellors must
regularly question them and keep probing them so that they can identify the root cause of the
problem (Meier & Davis, 2019). This help both the parties in developing a chronological order to
the thoughts that they experience and this reduces the chaos regarding what the client is feeling
exactly. The counsellor must always avoid the questions that might lead the client because this
can lead to impairment in the client. Further, regularly clarifying that whatever counsellor is
thinking is agreed upon by the client i.e. they both are in synchronization with the direction in
which their sessions or conversation is moving. This helps them in productive problem
resolution.

Focusing: This aspect teaches the counsellors how to segregate the variety of sues or emotions
that the clients are facing i.e. when describing their situation or problem, clients might integrate
he main issue with other smaller or insignificant issues (Lindqvist & et.al., 2017). The counsellor
must develop the technique to identify and segregate the main issue from the remaining lesser
ones. This will help them in addressing the main problem or concentrate on the major issues so
that other minor issues as well as the major issues can be resolved simultaneously (Adigwe &
Okoro, 2016). This tactic helps the therapists in making the session s more productive and when
the main conflict is identified and put into perspective, the other smaller issues automatically get
into the perspective. Apart from this, the focusing skill also assists in utilizing the time by taking
into consideration only those matters which are actually meaningful and hence the sessions are
fruitful in addressing the core issues.
Rapport Building: Rapport building can be termed more as a stage of the relationship that has
developed between the counsellors and their clients. The rapport shows that how comfortable or
convenient the client is regarding the methods adopted by the counsellor and whether the
counsellor is able to correctly identify the problem of their client (Adekson, 2019). This rapport
builds up only when the counsellor is patient while listening to the clients problems and is
empathetic towards them. In return, the client will trust the counsellor to understand the problem
and really open up to them so that they can resolve the issues. There exists a peaceful
relationship between both the parties thus showing that all the complications can be effectively
resolved and the client is able to achieve the purpose with which they were seeking the help of
the counsellor. This type of relationship is crucial in order to resolve the problem and when there
are complication in the relationship, it automatically leads to the failure of the achievement of the
desired results.
Summarizing: This aspect eludes the necessity of holding a summing up or concluding session
with the client where the counsellor assesses the current state of the client, the entire recovery
sessions that were held are being evaluated, the counsellor ranks or remarks the growth,
performance and improvement of the client (Clark, Moe & Hays, 2017). Client also, in return,
given feedback on the mechanisms that were adopted by the counsellors and there suggestions
regarding improvements, if any, are also presented before the counsellor. Collectively, this
session helps in closing the sessions that were undergoing and remember all the key points that
were highlighted during such sessions.

Therefore, the points above help in concluding that these are certain key skills that the
counsellors need to bear in mind while going through the process of counselling a person and
these skills help them in making the process rewarding and effective.
Dialogue between counsellor and client
The following is a dialogue between the therapist and their patient that revolves around
the self-esteem issues that the client is facing (Norton & Tan, 2019).
Counsellor: Hello Mary! How are you feeling today?
Client: Thank You! But I have been feeling very off the hook lately.
Counsellor (C): Okay. Let me see, last time we checked, you stated that you seemed to think you
were not enough for your partner and you detailed your trouble that your partner might be
cheating on you. Correct me if I am wrong, but I think you stated that the reason your partner is
cheating is because you are not enough for your partner. He seems to be distant and has stopped
being sweet with you. Is that right?
Mary (M): Yes! He has stopped bringing any flowers for me like earlier and also he does not
texts me even once in the entire day apart from the necessary things. This is unlike older times
when he used to bring flowers every Saturday and used to ask me how I am or what I was doing
at least thrice in a day.
C: Okay. Did you confront him and ask him the reasons for his changed behaviour?
M: Yes I did. He said that he had been busy at work and was working on an important project.
C: Then maybe he is! What makes you think that he is cheating on you?
M: Because I know he is. He has had important projects earlier also but this did not make him
detached from me.
C: I don't think you are telling me the complete story here Mary. You need to open up so that I
can meet you half-way and address the major problem of your anxiety.
(Silence. Client is contemplating. Counsellor waits patiently)
C: You know that everything we discuss here is confidential and it will only help in meeting out
your problems.
M: Yes actually.. umm.. I think he has become dissatisfied from the physical intimacy that we
share and I think I am not able to keep him satisfied. I mean I think he somehow wants
something more form me, but I am not able to clearly identify what exactly he requires more
from me or how to give it.

C: Mary, has your husband shown any signs that he is dissatisfied? I mean does he feel restless
or is he avoiding being physically intimate with you?
M: I don't quite know how to answer that. We still get intimate but the frequency has reduced,
and he is often tired and prefers to sleep.
C: Okay. So you are saying that he is still attracted towards you but not as frequently as in the
past. You also state that you think your partner is cheating on you because he somehow no
longer finds you enough or shall wee say satisfactory. Is that right?
M: Yes that is exactly what I am feeling and thinking.
C: Mary, okay consider this for present, that maybe your husband is actually busy, and he is not
trying to avoid you or cheat on you but genuinely is busy on a project. Can we consider this for a
moment?
M: Yes, okay. I think that if I forget the fact that he is no longer happy from me, he might
actually be busy.
C: How do you think you are able to conclude this, keeping in mind that we are still assuming?
M: I think he is still being kind to me, he comes back home on time. I guess he spends all of his
free time with me only still, I mean we have to do the regular stuff such as grocery shopping and
there is only enough time for that.
(takes a pause)
C: I am listening. What else do you think justifies his action right now?
M: If I think of him in this way, I think that he still has been texting me that if I had taken my
medicines or whether I had my food on text. I mean does that still count?
C: Absolutely it counts! Do you think the real issue here is your self-esteem rather than your
husband cheating on you?
M: Whoa! I think that it is a big conclusion that you are making here. It means that whatever
other signs that I am experiencing, I should just ignore them?
C: No sorry! Not at all! Sorry if I went wrong! Let us come a step back. Are your really sure that
your husband is cheating on you?
M: Actually now I am not that sure to be honest. He has stopped indulging in the extra little
things that he used to do earlier, but I think he still cares about me.
C: Okay that is good deduction that you have made. Now what I want you to do is make two
papers. On write something that your husband did that you found really sweet or you felt cared

for in any way. On another paper, whenever you feel anxious, write down what you feel and the
reason or the trigger event for such feeling.
M: Okay but what if he does nothing sweet?
C: Then leave that day as blank. But try really hard to find at least something that he did which
proved to be caring. Continue this for this entire week until we meet next. Is that okay?
M: Yes. I will do that.
C: Also I want you to be really positive about it. I mean you find yourself getting anxious just
because he is busy, then try to find a good reason like he actually might be busy. Do you
understand?
M: Okay I will try that. I will be positive about his actions. Thank you doctor!
C: You're welcome. I will see you next week.
CONCLUSION
The report above helps in concluding that the skills that have been illustrated above are
some of the key tools that the counsellor can use. The report identified the use of seven key skills
which should be adopted and the importance of these skills in having a meaningful conversation
between the counsellor and the client was highlighted. A sample dialogue was presented between
the counsellor and the client and the use of those skills was shown. The dialogue showed that
how silence was indeed a critical aspect during the discussion. The importance of making the
silence or pause comfortable and necessary was highlighted in the dialogue. Further, this report
analysed the use of skills such as paraphrasing, questioning and contemplating where their
importance in addressing the situation at hand was highlighted. Lastly, the skill that was
discussed of never leading the discussion was also illustrated in the conversation where the
immediate offset in the conversation that took place when the counsellor made some direct
accusations and the reformatory actions that were taken by them. Therefore, collectively, the
report concluded that use of skills can be effectively integrated with the conversation that takes
place and its importance was emphasized through the dialogue.

REFERENCES
Books and journals
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with counselor trainees. The Journal of Counselor Preparation and Supervision. 9(1). 9.
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204.
Meier, S. T., & Davis, S. R. (2019). The elements of counseling. Waveland Press.
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relationships: An analysis of client counseling and emotional stability. Int J Economics
Manag Sci. 5. 336.
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Clark, M., Moe, J., & Hays, D. G. (2017). The relationship between counselors’ multicultural
counseling competence and poverty beliefs. Counselor Education and Supervision.
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counselors’ political ideology and counseling theory preference. American Journal of
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Lindqvist, H & et.al.,(2017). The relationship between counselors' technical skills, clients' in-
session verbal responses, and outcome in smoking cessation treatment. Journal of
substance abuse treatment. 77. 141-149.
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Watson, D. M. (2019). Counselor knows best: A grounded theory approach to understanding
how working class, rural women experience the mental health counseling process.
Journal of Rural Mental Health. 43(4). 150.
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