Mediation and Conflict

This report discusses the importance of mediation in resolving conflicts, using personal experiences as examples. It explores different conflict resolution strategies and approaches, including evaluative mediation, narrative mediation, and transformative mediation. The report also highlights the role of a mediator and the qualities required to be an effective mediator.

Running head: MEDIATION AND CONFLICT 1
Name
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Introduction
Having had quite a number of conflicting incidences throughout the past, which should
be essential into shaping one's degree of mediation when actual similar conflicts arise. This,
however, is the issue that is going to be discussed in the following report. I will be personal and
will outline some of the conflicts I have had in my past, what manifested them, and how I was
able to counteract with solutions viable to the situation. How some of the solutions were
effective and some were not. I am also going to discuss ways in which my own conflict could
have rather been mediated and brought positive outcomes. Other than mediation, I will highlight
other appropriate ways conflicts can be solved. Finally, steps I would take as a mediator and
remain neutral following the ethical guidelines in a similar dispute encounter. Disputes are bound
to happen whenever we relate with people around us, and being ethical is essential.
Past conflict
I will be discussing my family conflict between my parents and I when 16 while
residing with them. The conflict was caused due to my coming home late, drunk and at times go
weeks without coming home. I was just a graduate from high school; all I wanted was having
fun. Most whom we schooled with apart from I, had already moved out to rented apartments.
This created more intentions of partying and living the fast life. With the little, I could borrow
from my parents and from my credit card. No single concert in LA could I miss. More shows and
concerts I was able to attend, came with the use of alcohol and substances. The price was hefty,
for I had to explain why all these were happening, to my parents. Who were not at all happy.
Fights came up whenever I tried walking out the door. For they knew trouble was what followed.
Just at the age of 16, there were streets I did not pass. Not because they were not safe, but the
police were on them every hour. Most weekends we could come across them while speeding and

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drinking heavily. By all means, we escaped, for none was ready to be a convict any time soon. At
this time, I had become arrogant to not only my parents but also my siblings and relatives.
Forgetting that communication is a crucial stage in conflicts, whenever I saw my parents call me,
I never picked up the phone. These created a different posture on them and were torn in between
been worried or the fact of how I have become so disrespectful. More drama happened when I
arrived home at very late hours. Having to wake up everyone that was asleep just to have the
door opened. Personally right now, it is not appealing and I clearly regret all I caused. The events
that took place in my home still remain fresh memories as I also contemplate and ask myself
why I had done this all.
Evaluation of personal conflict resolution strategies
In most situations at this point, friends would come in and pressure one to move out
and start a whole new life altogether. It sounds a perfect idea but as for me, it was not all that
worth it, despite the numerous fights and arguments I had with my parents. As a young adult, I
had to own up and acknowledge what was really happening in my life. It took me a couple of
trials and downfalls before I could face my elder brother at first. I also thought of out straight
approaching my parents and apologizing. I was thinking too of bringing in someone who would
talk to them, for I approaching them alone, was never going to be all that easy. If not, I would go
with the easiest choice of all times, a letter. As I wait for their verdict. The first approach went all
terrible. My parents burst out with anger and painful words. Out of hurt made me dispute them as
mediators of the conflict. My parents felt it was my substance use lately that led me to approach
them with that confidence. Later on, I tried having a mediator to come and talk to them. By that
time, we were friends with a local spiritual elder who lived not far from where my parents
resided.

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This did not work out effectively but made some impact on how my parents viewed the
matter. For the first time in months, they leniently were concerned about my whereabouts and
used tender cautions on certain areas to should be careful with. Unfortunately, this was not to last
forever; their impatient nature got the best of them. And within no time they were back to their
old nature. This now led me to execute my final strategy. I simply talked with a friend who
agreed in us moving in together and find ways to sort out the bills. Afterward, I wrote a letter
before my departure from my parents' home and left it in their room. If asked it was the simplest
and most effective way to me since from that day onwards it bore fruits too so many things that I
had never thought of.
Mediation and conflict management approach.
If questioned, I would say my earlier approach could have worked out well. And my
parents and I could have come up with better solutions if it weren’t for their prejudice. Mediation
has helped many come to agreements and cut the short cost of incurring greater damages in the
future. It takes nothing more than following simple outlined steps. When done formally it takes 6
steps and the process is complete. (Stepp, 2019) . First, we have introductory remarks, from both
my parents and then i. this should be followed by my parents and I stating out what the issue is
from personal grounds. After that, the mediator gathers information from both my parents and I
and any other person related to the issue. Later the mediator now identifies keenly where the
problem is. Generating options and bargaining follows. Then lastly we would have to come to an
agreement and if so layout promises as a family and set rules. These are the most idealistic steps
that could have been followed to settle the dispute.

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Mediation is not the only way a conflict can be resolved. There many ways in which a
dispute can be settled without including a third party. There quite a number of assorted tactics
that one could employ, but it all narrows down to the nature of the situation to be handled and the
most seemingly effective one. (CHRISTOPHER) . One common way from my suggestions is
the the-agree to disagree step (CHRISTOPHER). It was months of my parents and I arguing and
conflicting. Warnings and rules meant nothing to me, for I had ways to break them. My parents
were tired and I, on the other hand, was willing to change but always found myself repeating the
same mistakes. The only remaining option was now both my parents and I having to agree to
disagree with the situation but make promises to change. The issue can be set aside and regarded
as the past and we all forgive and forget it. To have a greater relationship in the future, we all
thought we had to look out for each other.
Three improved mediation approaches
Here, I will break down a few approaches to mediation that could have been put to
practice. Beginning with the common and used one, evaluative mediation. In this type of
mediation, the mediator plays the greater part in determining the mediation outcome and his or
her primary focus is to finalize and come to a quick deal. The mediator though is bound to make
recommendations to each party, for my case he or she should have given both me and my
parents’ recommendations. However, this is not based on the mediators own choices he or she
follows legal rights. (evidence, 2015). On to the second mediation approach, we have the
narrative mediation approach. This simply coming up with a narrative or a previous incidence
story, that can relate to the situation to make it make simpler to be understood This helps parties
related to creating distance from their reality for them to engage with the actual situation. It is
similar to detaching yourself from your actual reality.

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Often, narrative mediators have mental health backgrounds of the affected ones. This
acts as a guide on dos and don'ts when coming up with a suitable narrative for the affected ones.
Thirdly we have the transformative mediation. (evidence, 2015). In this type of mediation, my
parents and I would have been transformed during the mediation process. Both my parents and I
would be allowed to come down with our own resolutions. We should be able to take
responsibility for the resolution from the dispute we had. The mediator's work would be
guidance and assisting with relevant knowledge but the resolution would be up to us alone
(evidence, 2015). Afterward, he would put it down on paper for both of us to have it. In most
cases, this would be done for future references and avoiding biases. These are just but a few
ways that I think my conflict with the parents could have been settled. Many of these are so
applicable and if we could put them into use, it would be so necessary for me to go to the last
option of me writing a letter.
Personal role in the mediation process
One aspect of a good mediator is remaining neutral and not being biased. Neutrality is
closely linked to decision making when it comes to mediating. No one wants a biased mediator,
for my case, I would listen to sides, mine and my parents and after careful analysis, I would now
conclude without getting biased. Another fine quality that I will have to cultivate is authenticity.
It is a robust predictor of both the wellbeing and ill-being of a good mediator. It would be
healthy to choose a positive mediator, with the valence of interpersonal interactions. (Baker, Z.
G., Tou, R. Y., Bryan, J. L., & Knee, C. R. ., 2017). Understanding the fact that a good
mediators work is seen through his or her approachability, why not cut my coat to its size.

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A good mediator is someone you can easily approach and talk to. They are careful
when it comes to listening and appreciate one's emotions and needs, and above all, I was the
mediator will be concerned about the well-being of those who are involved. (Fraser, Wilson &
Bryan, P.C., 2017). How can I be a good mediator without me having to understand the
teachings of the bible? Spirituality is not just a key factor but also among the most crucial trait
one should have when mediating a dispute. It does not have to be Christianity or Islam but a
good spiritual background of you is vital. (Kluwer, 2012) . This is followed by a common trait
found in children and young ones, which is empathy. As a good mediator, empathy is a vital
aspect. And it should help a long way in curbing a lot of biases in both parties. Once you get to
apply empathy in mediating, involved parties will be able to speak up and open without fear and
by this, you would have gained the involved one's trust in return. (mediation skills)
Carefully let us now break down steps I will have taken to mediate the situation or
a similar one. First as everything in life is preparation, laying down the ground rules for the
process. Followed by having to reconstruct and understand the conflict before me. Later I would
identify points of agreements and of the dispute. Creating suitable options for the agreement is
followed. And last but not least is developing agreements for the conflict. (mediation skills)
Conclusion
In general, the state at which conflicts are happening not just in our homes but also around us is
alarming. And this project has sure equipped us with not only steps to follow while meditating,
but also things to follow when conflicts arise. From different perspectives, we have seen some
ways can affect the situation negatively while others create permanent solutions. However, in
order for us to apply the above-highlighted steps, some traits come in handy. And it is solely up

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to us to make them our goal and always be able to tell what is before us before acting in a certain
way. If I was able to find solutions to mine, the same case applies to u. it is not hard rocket
science, but the willingness for you to change your whole life. Know what your priorities are and
be able to contemplate them. Living peacefully is an essential aspect in our community, and so it
is in our families and the people around, no matter how long we have been together with them.
Some aspects are vital to be exercised.

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References
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CHRISTOPHER, D. (n.d.). 10 ways to resolve conflict. Retrieved from Living strong.com:
https://www.livestrong.com/article/122613-resolve-conflict/
evidence, e. (2015, December 06). Different approaches to mediation. Retrieved from expert evidence
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Fraser, Wilson & Bryan, P.C. (2017, September 20). 5 characteristics of a great mediator. Retrieved from
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kluwer, w. (2012, February 19). 212 qualities of a good mediator. Retrieved from Kluwer mediation blog:
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