Reflection during Mindfulness - A Personal Account

Running head: REFLECTION DURING MINDFULNESS
Reflection during Mindfulness
Name of the Student
Name of the University
Author note

1REFLECTION DURING MINDFULNESS
I feel I need to start from the beginning with the accident I met at my workplace few
years ago. I met with severe accident wherein my hands went into spindle moulder in the office
and there were minor kind of injuries of badly cut fingers along with other problems that soon
followed. Furthermore, when I joined my work again I faced different anxiety and depression
issues and I started taking sleeping pills and antidepressants. I had three six months spell in the
vocational rehabilitation and I had to resign when the things started getting worse.
It went in such a manner until 2016 when I started taking sessions from CBT at the health
care centre. The CBT had made a huge difference however; the ten sessions were not enough and
it was difficult for me to cope up with such issues and my mood went sinking down.
Furthermore, in the early 2017, I got someone in Munster in Ireland for CBT. I told the person
that CBT did not help me that much in relieving my stress and then he suggested that I should
consider Mindfulness.
The person asked me to Google Mindfulness and I thought it was ok to ring for such
assessment. Furthermore, I rang for the assessment and went to mount but then I thought I would
return home if the mindfulness did not work. I would be taking more than 350 antidepressants to
kill myself and this will be helpful to make the individuals understand that I had tried everything
and nothing worked and in this manner I went for the mindfulness session. The first session
helped me in with counseling and psychotherapeutic setting.
In my life, I never interacted with so many individuals and I was uncomfortable to
interact with them. I tried to block those individuals by sitting out of the entire group and
blocking others with pillar. In the second session, the counselor helped in creating mindful
setting, however; I tried to do all my homework in order to prove myself that I tried my best but

2REFLECTION DURING MINDFULNESS
everything failed. During the third and fourth session, I tried to understand how mindfulness
works. Part way through the sessions, I tried to understand those mindfulness sessions was the
turning point and while on my way to home I thought that mindfulness was not barmy. I felt
mindfulness may work for me and I will not be dead in the next six or seven weeks. I tried to
read the different handouts and I felt how wrong I was in thinking about mindfulness. The things
fell into place and I was receiving a lot from mindfulness, however in the later sessions of
mindfulness there were different problems that occurred. I tried to ask for help at best of times
and not during the sessions. I hated myself again as I was behaving as I used to previously. I felt
depressed and suicidal in nature.
However, I tried to keep that feeling to myself as I felt mindfulness would work and I just
avoided it whenever I could. However, during the last session of mindfulness, I tried managing
myself and began sitting with other individuals. It took a lot of effort for me however; I just
wanted to be the part of the specific group. I wanted myself to belong to the group for once even
if it was only for one session. The course completed and when I left the course and I found new
problems but I was not serious that killing me was the solution and I felt mindfulness would help
me.
After a week, I went on summer holidays and I ended up with migraine pain on the way
back to our home. During this time, I tried to exercise and apply all the mindfulness exercises
that I have learnt in the sessions. The different exercises helped me in feeling pleasant and
returned home feeling ok as well. I tried following the activities that I have learnt in the session
and I did not have migraine anymore. I slowly tried to cope up with the different difficult
situations in my life and but there times when I could not find proper solution. There were times
when I could not find myself distressed and it had affected me intensely.