Revising Essays on Black & White Conflict

This revision worksheet analyzes the process of refining two essays focusing on black and white conflict in America after Joe Louis' boxing victory. The author details how they strengthened their thesis by critically analyzing black and white perspectives, using examples like Michael Jordan and Jackie Robinson, and addressing peer review feedback on the complexities of racism and black community feelings during this period. Additionally, the worksheet reveals insights into how the author provided constructive feedback to fellow students on their essays.

Revision Worksheet: Essays 3 & 4
 What did you do in your revision that made your thesis stronger?
In order to make my thesis stronger, I critically analyze black and white conflict from the
perspective of Maya Angelou after Joe Louis has been won the title, ‘The Strongest Man of the
World’.
 Did you use additional examples to develop your points in the body of the essay? List
them.
Yes, I use additional examples such as Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Jackie Robinson,
Althea Gibson and Jack Johnson.
 List at two additional specific points made in the peer review. What did you do to address
those issues in your revision?
The two issues are listed below.
1. The thinking of White people about racism
2. The feelings of black community during the tension of boxing match and after the victory
of Joe Louis.
In order to address first issue, I critically analyze the sarcastic thinking of white people. The
people thought that they have especial right to win everything in the world because of their color
of skin.
In order to address the second mentioned issue, I critically evaluate the inferiority complex of
black people. Besides of doing that, the feelings of superiority of black people has also been
demonstrated in the essay.
 What specifically did you say in each of the responses you made to others to help them
revise their work?
First Response:

According to my perspective, in order to critically evaluate this essay, it is
important to look into the racial belief of white people. Therefore, I would like to suggest
others to develop a critical analysis over the black and white conflict in American
dominated society.
Second Response:
I would like to suggest others to focus on how black people represented their
feelings of superiority after Joe Louis had won the boxing match in order to strengthen
this particular essay.