Significance of Life Events

This article explores the significance of life events and their impact on individuals' mental health. It analyzes a case study of Tom and Sue coping with the death of their daughter and discusses the sociological and psychological implications of life events. The article also delves into the stages of grieving and the importance of positive life events.

Running head: SIGNIFICANCE OF LIFE EVENTS
Significance of Life Events
Name of the Student
Name of the University
Author Note

1SIGNIFICANCE OF LIFE EVENTS
Introduction
Human life is extremely subjective in nature. The happiness and sadness of an individual
depends upon the life events that occur in that person’s life. They play a significantly influential
role in shaping the life of a person. As a result, care needs to be given to ensure that all the life
occurrences are properly understood by an individual and explained to in detail (Roseman,
Hames and Worts 2017). If a person is intelligent, then he or she has the own ability to make a
comprehensive judgment. However, if the emotional quotient of a person is relatively less then it
depends upon the other people to help the individual to come to terms. In this respect, the impact
of positive life events and negative life events come to play (Currier 2018). Positive life events
refer to those instance which have a positive impact on the individual in the sense that it makes
them happy and joyful. For example, the events of a birth of a new family member brings joy to
everyone in the surrounding. Moreover, the example of marriage is also joyful as it indicates the
union of two souls and two families. On the other hand, the negative life events make a person
sad and sorrowful and makes them anxious and depressed (Cleland et al., 2016). For instance,
the death of a dear family member can have the disastrous impact of making an individual feel
depressed for days, and might demotivate them of any chance at survival. Moreover, the
instances of accidents or any harm to a close person can also make a concerned individual sad
and depressed (Corr 2018). This paper seeks to analyze the mental health of the two individuals,
Tom and Sue as mentioned in the case study and how they coped with the death of their
daughter. The paper analyzes the sociological and psychological implications of life events on
the life of Tom and Sue and discusses about their behaviors and mental health. The paper looks
in to the changes in the behavior of the two mentioned individuals after the death of their
daughter and also explains in detail how it had an impact on their son and his mental well-being.

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The paper concludes with the importance of positive life events and the composure needed to be
maintained during times of crisis as it can adversely affect a person.
Response to 1.1
The impact of life events differ largely depending upon the age that a person in is. For
instance, when a person is younger, then the impact of negative life events is not likely to have a
long lasting impact as the person is tended to forget it quite easily (Dehnad 2017). However,
when a person reaches the adolescence age and adulthood, the adverse impacts of negative life
events is felt in a deep manner. This is because the emotions of a person is heightened in this
phase and the emotional maturity is still in the development phase (Garnefski et al., 2017). When
a person reaches middle age, the or she is more capable to handle the negative life events as the
people are now capable enough to understand the situation and make peace with them.
However, the impact of life events also depends upon the severity of the situation (Crunk,
Burke and Robinson III 2017). The death of a very close person has the ability to destroy the
entire life of the individuals involved, as seen in the case of Tom and Sue. The death of their
daughter Jill shook the entire world of the parents and rendered them incapable to be ‘normal’
again. Their grieving never stopped and it made them over cautious about everything, especially
Sue. It changed their mental outlook and also their relation with their son.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross co-authored a book with Davis Kessler and wrote about the five
stages of grieving (Clark and Kaufer 2018). The first stage of grieving is that of denial. The
people involved in a traumatic incident often choose to deny that the incident has indeed
occurred. This is seen to be a defense mechanism to help the concerned person to grieve the loss
(Srinivasan, Guo and Devaraj 2017). When a person suffers a terrible loss, he or she goes numb
and refuses to acknowledge that something of that nature has indeed occurred (Ginnis et al.,

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2015). In this respect when Tom and Sue suffered the loss of their daughter, their world turned
upside down. To deal with the loss, at first they refused to believe that they have indeed lost their
little daughter.
The second stage of grieving is that of anger. After the person accepts the personal loss,
they become angry with their surroundings. They try to project their grief outward in the hope
that some solution or explanation shall be provided to them (Gray and Lassance 2018). The stage
of anger is seen to be a necessity because the more people get angry, the more they project it
outward. This helps them to calm down (Platt, Williams and Ginsburg 2016). In the case of Sue,
she did not get angry but rather chose to remain depressed. This caused her mental harm and as a
result, she could not find her way back from her daughter’s death.
Bargaining is the third stage of grieving. In this stage, the concerned person tries to
bargain with nature to let him or her go back in time and help to resolve the problem (Haase,
2016). They try to do anything which will allow them to let go of the pain, no matter how
idealistic it might seem. Tom and Sue wanted to get back their daughter alive and as a result,
they kept on thinking about ‘what if…’ and ‘only if…’ (Aoun et al., 2018). They wanted their
live to be restored to the way it was.
The fourth stage of grieving is that of depression. After the three stages, the concerned
person finally starts to accept the reality (Death 2017). He or she realizes the loss and the impact
of that loss gradually starts to settle down. During this time, the person enters in to a stage of
depression and this stage lasts the longest (Bowen 2018). In the case of Tom and Sue, the stage
of depression lasted for a long time. Initially they refused to accept the fact that they have lost
their daughter but gradually they started to accept her death. Sue remained in depression even
when Tom tried to move on.

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The last stage of grieving is that of acceptance. This is the hardest stage but the only stage
that matters (Titelman and Reed 2018). Loss and suffering is a part and parcel of an individual’s
life. They need to find the strength to accept what had happened and try to move on, taking
precaution that something like that never occurs again (Kõlvese tal., 2019). After losing their
daughter, Sue refused to move on and accept the death of their daughter. Being a mother, the loss
of her daughter hit her the hardest. Tom on the other hand, found a way to make a life for himself
without their daughter. They had a son to look after and because of him, Tom realized that they
have an obligation to fulfill. Sue found it immensely difficult to accept this and still remained in
depression, possibly for the foreseeable future.
Response to 1.2
The response of a group to the occurrence of any negative incident to their near and dear
ones is vital. They form the support system of the individuals who have been affected (Titelman
2018). For instance, the death of their daughter Jill had a significant impact on the Tom and Sue.
When Jill was admitted to the hospital the health professionals involved in her case took extreme
care of her. After the death of Jill one of the nurses who took care of the child was considerably
upset and could not come to work for some days. Another group of people who tried to help the
couple was Shaping the Bereavement and the Bereavement Partner Support Group who provided
comfort during the initial days of their grieving. However, when none of the group of people
could provide significant relief to Sue, Tom suggested to her to take the help of a professional
counselling. As she could not cope with her daily life. However, the support system had a
significant impact on Tom as he could recover himself and move forward din his life.
Analyzing the support and aid provided by the different health groups to the couple, it is
seen that all of them tried to help the couple to grieve in a proper manner (Bugeja et al., 2015).

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Their main objective was to make the couple accept the tragedy that had occurred and instill
them back in to their daily lives as soon as possible.
However, such responses can also have a negative impact on the concerned people. After
the loss of a near and loved one, many people want to be left alone and deal with the situation
according to their terms and time space. However, with so many people being involved in their
affairs, they do not find the suitable time to cope with their emotions.
Response to 1.3
Impact on the care workers - The death of Jill had a serious psychological impact on
majority of the people involved in the entire process. Jill was diagnosed with leukemia and as a
result, she was often admitted to the hospital. This led to her being familiar with the nurse staff in
the hospital and one of the nurses became quite close to her. During the last days in the hospital,
the health care professional took diligent care of her and tried to ease her suffering to a great
extent.
Impact on the nurse - The psychological impact of Jill’s death on the nurse was
significant. Besides the psychological impact of the death of the child on the nurse, it also had a
social impact (Woodthorpe and Rumble 2016). She was so severely distressed that she stopped
coming to work for quite a number of days. This signifies the level of dependency that the nurse
had with Jill.
Impact on their son – The incident of the death of Jill had a detrimental impact on both
Tom and Sue. It had a deep psychological effect on the mother more than the father and as a
result, Sue became over protective of their son. This, in turn, had a deeper psychological impact
on the son who could not cope up with the mental instability of his mother.

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Response to 2.1
In order to help the couple to deal with the loss of their daughter and to make them come
to terms with the death of their daughter, two social organizations tried to provide support and
relief to Tom and Sue, namely Shaping the Bereavement, and the Bereavement Partner Support
Group.
The support group of Shaping the Bereavement takes care of the people who have
recently faced the loss of one of their near and dear ones. The main objective of the support
group is to make the people wanting their help, to come to terms with the death of their loved
one (Nia et al., 2016). For this purpose, the organization believes that bereavement is a process
that should take place over a long span of time. The journey of grieving starts from the exact
time of death till the time they start to accept that the death has really occurred and will most
likely change the lives of the concerned people (Timms 2018). The organization believes that
each individual is different and therefore, the time taken by each individual to grieve is also
different. It is over here that the Elizabeth Kubler Ross model comes in to significance. The
organization can utilize this model in order to understand and judge the different stages that an
individual is going through (Knott and Scragg 2016). Accordingly, they can take the help of
certain measures and methods which can provide relief to the people.
In the case of Bereavement Partner Support Group, the situation is more personal in
nature. In this scenario, it is the responsibility and the obligation of Tom to ensure that his wife is
being able to cope with the loss of their daughter. The death of Jill had immeasurable adverse
impact on the parents but the grieving process of both of them was quite different. During the
process of bereavement it has been noticed that there are some people who cry, become angry
and ultimately start to accept the death or loss of their loved ones (Strömgren et al., 2016). Tom

7SIGNIFICANCE OF LIFE EVENTS
fell in this category of people. However, there is one other category of people who takes a more
regressive role where they shut themselves off from the society in order to grieve. Such people
refuse to accept the loss of their close one and instead, tries to think about “what ifs” (Turner
2017). Sue belonged to this category of people. She could not let go of her child and as a result,
suffered internally. The Bereavement Partner Support Group harps on the important role played
by the partners and the spouses in helping their significant other through the process of grieving.
Evaluating the work done by both the organizations that is, Shaping the Bereavement,
and the Bereavement Partner Support Group, in the case of Tom and Sue it can be said that the
organization of Shaping the Bereavement had a significant impact on the life of Tom. He could
process his loss in a gradual manner and could ultimately accept the death of his daughter.
However, both the organizations failed to make any positive impact on the mother (Gould and
Taylor 2017). Sue refused to believe that her child was dead and instead chose to remain isolated
from the community at large. This also had a negative impact on their son, David, with whom
she became more protective. She was of the opinion that it was her neglected care which led to
the death of their daughter and as a result, this should not be repeated in the case of their son.
The NHS ‘Bereavement policies and procedures provides some measures of relief to the
people who have faced the loss of their loved ones. According to the Bereavement policies, the
loss of a person is not processed in a single day; it usually hits a person in a wave like manner
and can occur at any point of time, during any day. As a result, the policies urge the concerned
individual to perform the list rites of the dead person. This is symbolic in the sense that the
performance of the last rites signifies the acceptance of the concerned individuals of the death of
their loved one (Howe et al. 2018). This is important because it helps the people involved to
move forward.

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Source: Working well solutions, 2013
Response to 2.2
The support of the external people in the community towards the people who have faced
a loss is significant. If left alone, it is hardly possible for the concerned people to cope with the
loss. The loss of a loved one is devastating and has the ability to change the entire life course of a
person (Domakin 2015). In the case of Tom and Sue, this is clearly visible, especially for Sue.
She stopped communicating with everyone and chose to stay isolated from everyone. She also
began to think about “what ifs” and believed that she did not express her love for her child in a
sufficient manner. Moreover, she also became very protective about her son, David as she did
not want to lose him as well. Her condition made her husband extremely worried and he
suggested that she should seek the help of a professional counselling who would be able to aid
her in coping with the loss. The support of such a counsellor is deemed to be essential as she

9SIGNIFICANCE OF LIFE EVENTS
would be provided with a clarity about the situation and also would be able to find a direction for
future purposes (Parker 2017). The support provided by the professional counsellor is thus of the
nature of emotional and psychological. This is important as the loss of a person alters the
psychology of a person by making them insane or anxious.
The external help that the couple received from the Shaping the Bereavement, and the
Bereavement Partner Support Group is also vital for the couple. They helped Tom and Sue,
especially Tom to come to terms with the death of their daughter. They tried to support the
couple in their phase of grieving by allowing them to grieve in a proper and processed manner.
This proved to be very helpful as Tom could finally accept the death of his daughter Jill and
could manage to return to his daily life. However, the actions of the two organizations had no or
negligible impact on Sue. Being a mother, she could not process the loss of her daughter and had
a tough time to cope with the loss unlike Tom. The support that was provided by the two
organizations, namely Shaping the Bereavement, and the Bereavement Partner Support Group
was of emotional and psychological nature. They tried to ensure the stable balance of the couple
mental health by making them accept the death of their daughter.
Response to 2.3
The importance of referral system is immense (Parker 2017). A referral system refers to
the process where s particular individual dealing with a severe loss, is referred to be treated by a
counsellor in a personal way. This arrangement poses a serious challenge to the counsellor as he
or she needs to work in a professional setting but try to help the concerned individual in a
personal manner. In the case of Sue, she was suggested by her husband Tom to seek the help of a
professional counsellor. He wanted her to accept the fact that their daughter Jill had died in spite
of doing everything they could under their power. However, Sur had a hard time accepting the

10SIGNIFICANCE OF LIFE EVENTS
loss, instead, choosing to stay in a limbo where she played her past experiences with her child in
her mind. The aid provided by the professional counsellor would prove to be effective for Sue
who would in turn, be able to help her overcome her grieve and get settled in her daily life.
During this phase, considerable emphasis is given to the process of communication. The
professional counsellor will only be able to Sue to the extent she shares her inner feelings in a
cohesive and comprehensive manner. For this, there should exist a well-defined process of
communication where Sue tells the counsellor everything she is feeling and thinking (Parker
2017). However, if Sue chooses not to share her inner thoughts and instead, wants to isolate her
from everyone, then the professional counsellor would not be able to help her to a considerable
extent. Instead, the treatment can only be fulfilled half way and would not have the desired
impact on Sue as Tom had hoped.
Response to 3.1
In the context of the organizational support provided to the people who has suffered a lot,
it is analyzed that there are many support groups in the external environment who tries to provide
aid to such people to help them cope with their loss (Roseman, Hames and Worts 2017). For
instance, in the case study, it is observed that Tom and Sue received considerable support from
two organizations such as Shaping the Bereavement and the Bereavement Partner Support
Group. Analyzing their functioning it is seen that they provided some amount of psychological
and emotional support to the couple. The members of such organization aid the bereaved people
to come to terms with their loss and ensure that the concerned people are able to move forward in
their life.
However, a critical analysis of the working of such formal support groups reveal that they
do not make any effective contributions in helping the bereaved person. One of the deficiencies

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that taint the working of such support system is that they are not personal in nature, but rather
tries to approach the entire situation in a professional manner. This proves to be quite
challenging as the loss suffered by the people is very much personal (Howe et al. 2018). They
feel wronged by nature and the human civilization in general and is always angry and frustrated.
For this, there is a necessity that their grieve should be addressed at such a personal level. The
professional attitude of the support workers, as a result, is highly discouraged and condemned.
Response to 3.2
For effective reflection, the Gibbs Reflection Cycle has been followed
There often comes a time in one’s life when they are required to provide emotional and
financial support to others. In the case of a loss of a person who was very close to an individual,
the provision of emotional and psychological support assumes precedence. In my life, there once
occurred a situation where my neighbor lost her husband in a car accident. He was a very healthy
person, in the prime of his life and the couple had no reason to assume that their life would take
such a drastic turn.
The death of her husband affected the wife in a serious adverse manner and it almost left
her immobile for a few weeks. She could not accept the death of her husband and instead chose
to cut all communication with the outside world.
Being her neighbor, I was extremely close to her. She was like an aunt to me and had
watched me grow up since childhood, taking care of me when my parents had to leave me alone
at home. Even I was affected by the death of the husband but I realized that my responsibility is
towards the lady, in helping her to come to terms with the death of her loved one.

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I started to go to her place on a regular basis, talking to her about inconsequential things,
in an effort to pull her mind away from the devastating incident. For many days she used to
ignore my rants, but soon she started to open up about her feelings and talk fervently, often
breaking down in to sobs.
Finally the time came when she agreed to perform the last rites of her husband which
signified that she was finally ready to move on and carry the beloved memories of her husband
in her memories.
She took the help of a professional counsellor and started to interact with other people in
a gradual manner.
Response to 3.3
Social organizations and social workers play a significant role in trying to help people
cope with their life changing events which have the ability to influence their life to a
considerable extent (Gould and Taylor 2017). For this purpose, certain recommendations have
been provided in order to bring about a more effective change in the working of such
organizations.
First, there is a need for the organizations to have a culture which is inclusive in nature
(Gould and Taylor 2017). The people coming to the organization for aid can be of different
cultural backgrounds and hence, they should feel comfortable in the social organization.
Second, the social workers should ensure that have a certain framework of policies to
which they adhere to (Roseman, Hames and Worts 2017). Such organizations are professional in
nature but their work is extremely personal. As a result, often times, they are required to get
involved in the situation of a person in order to get a comprehensive idea of how to provide

13SIGNIFICANCE OF LIFE EVENTS
relief. However, they must ensure that they are able to maintain some amount of professional
stance so that they do not provide inconvenience to the concerned individual.
Conclusion
In conclusion it is observed that life events have the capability to severely impact the
course of life of an individual, depending on whether the life event provides happiness or sadness
to the concerned person. As a result, we can notice that life events have the preponderant impact
in the shaping of the mental being of a person. It can either make them happy or it can make
them sad to the extent of being suicidal even. The response of a group to the occurrence of any
negative incident to their near and dear ones is vital. They form the support system of the
individuals who have been affected. If left alone, it is hardly possible for the concerned people to
cope with the loss. The main objective of the support group is to make the people wanting their
help, to come to terms with the death of their loved one. For this purpose, the organization
believes that bereavement is a process that should take place over a long span of time. The
journey of grieving starts from the exact time of death till the time they start to accept that the
death has really occurred and will most likely change the lives of the concerned people. In the
case of devastating life events, the role of external organizations and groups of people assumes
great significance.

14SIGNIFICANCE OF LIFE EVENTS
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