Developing and Using Emotional Intelligence for Improved Workplace Relationships

DEVELOP AND USE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Introduction
Emotional intelligence refers to an individual’s capability to recognize and understand their own
emotions as well as the emotions of others and then distinguish between varying feelings and
appropriately label them as well as guide their behavior and thinking using emotional
information. Further, it is the ability of an individual to adjust their emotions so as to adapt to the
prevailing situation and still achieve their goals. Closely associated with emotional intelligence
(EI) is empathy; empathy is a situation where a person connects their own experiences with the
experiences of others. Unlike empathy, though, EI levels can be measured using several models
(Houston, 2019). In this reflective piece, the author narrates and reflects on [his/her] own
experiences at the work place, and also demonstrates an understanding of course units and
required learning outcomes by reading a case study and answering the questions that follow,
before demonstrating EI by coaching others in a workplace environment.
Assessment task 1: Self Reflection
1. In reflecting on the self, I first undertook an emotional intelligence self-test based on
Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence Mode that measures self-awareness, social awareness,
self-management, and relationship management. Looking at the scores out of ten, I
scored 7 in self-awareness and relationship management, and 8 in social-awareness;
however, when it came to self-management, my score was average at 5 (See Appendix I;
970421ei).
2. I work in sales and customer service and while I have always held on to the belief of
building relationships and being mindful of my behavior, emotions, and feelings to the
organization and clients, I have faced stressful situations severally.
Instance 1: I had this colleague that constantly criticized and had a go at me and while I tried to
maintain composure and bravery in the light of her attacks that I feel were ethnically motivated,
it affected me adversely and made me ‘retreat’; I always do this. I tried to ride it out but deep
inside, I realized she was a brutal and insecure person and I decided to distance myself from her
as much as possible; emotionally and socially, and this did not make her less critical.
Instance 2: I had always gotten along with my immediate manager well; however, things started
getting on a downward spiral when my sales slackened (I was angry that the transport

department had let me and my clients down by being late) and the work environment was not
supportive; in fact the environment was mired in old ways of running a business; strict pyramidal
hierarchical system with highly rigid decision making system that was also slow. The manager
was getting at me for slowing sales, yet I was becoming rebellious in a way, being late for work,
not working as hard and enthusiastically as I used to, and blaming the transport department and
organizational culture for what was happening. Things were not helped when I became too vocal
during meeting and appeared to ‘outshine’ my immediate manager, trying, as it is said, to get the
MD’s attention. While I did not have such malicious intentions (I always try to do my best).
Instance 3: This happened when I was still new and a lady colleague who had been with the
company for longer appeared to belittle me and deliberately misguide me repeatedly; I tried to
swallow it but when she did it in front of a customer, I went out for lunch and coming back it
was bare knuckled ‘hair drier’ for her, in front of my boss and other managers; I have no idea
where that came from but I gave a her a dress down until other colleagues left the office (it was
an open office plan) and the lady cried- I felt guilty and sad afterwards, but deep inside, I felt I
had ‘fought for my territory’.
3. Trigger 1: When criticized or something bad said about me in front of others; I tend to
withdraw and in many cases I get very angry and irrational at times; rather than face the
issue, I tend to withdraw and seek more ‘accommodating’ company, or isolate myself.
Trigger 2: When others appear to sabotage the organization or put barriers on my path when am
trying to achieve a goal; usually, I get angry and reduce my commitment and effort; I react
negatively to such situations, including with frenzied anger.
4. Having read content on EI and self-control, I would actually listen to the criticism,
assume the intentions are good (Rajendra & Korlahalli, 2011), do not go on the defensive
or seek excuses, not take it personally, and see the criticism as being help (Alexander,
2013). I also would not be too hard on myself and possibly say ‘thank you’ to the
criticism, whether deserved or otherwise (Houston, 2019).
5. The areas for improvement, as confirmed in my Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence Mode
test results, is mainly in the areas of self-management. The main areas are in being more
adaptable, attaining higher levels of self-control, and being more transparent, as being

withdrawn and a lot of times economical with the truth (to maintain a specific self-image)
is another challenge I have had and it seems to tick people off.