Attachment Security and Style

Childhood attachment and the nature of their family relationships are influenced by the nature of caregiving across various cultures and parenting styles. The paper discusses the impact of different attachment style as a child based on attachment theory and how can one improve their attachment security and create a safe and secure base for their child.

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attachment security and style
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Introduction
Childhood attachment and the nature of their family relationships are influenced by the
nature of caregiving across various cultures and parenting styles. Those attachments develop
throughout the lifespan of the child and depend on the contributions and attitudes of others plus
other social factors. The paper discusses the impact of different attachment style as a child based
on attachment theory and how can one improve their attachment security and create a safe and
secure base for their child. Studies have shown that children develop noticeably different
attachment styles with each parent that can impact their behaviors.
According to the attachment theory, an attachment is an association between a person and
the attachment figure. While in relationships among adults, the people feel mutually responsible
as attachment figures, this is not the case in a family between the child and the parent (Prior, &
Glaser, 2006). A child will bond or attach to his parent, instinctively for survival and protection.
The attachment figure in this relation is the primary caregiver. The attachment theory proposes
that individual variances with regard to the attachment security should support the skills,
expectations, and attitudes in the child. There are consistent links between social competence and
attachment security (Veríssimo, Santos, Fernandes, Shin, & Vaughn, 2014). Attachment is
understood based on the emotional closeness that binds the child to his family and prepares him
for independence. Attachment is essential as it provides a secure base for the children, from
where they can explore, learn, and experiment. However, patterns in children's attachment are
influenced by those of their parents and impacts behavioral, psychological and developmental
wellbeing of the child (Rees,2007). The issue is how the children are attached and if their
relationships are reliable and strong.

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When I look back at my childhood, I can say that I enjoyed a strong and healthy bond
with my parents and had a secure attachment style. As my mother was a housewife, she was
always there for my younger brother and me. She helped us with our schoolwork and spent
plenty of time playing games and doing craft activities with us. As I found those activities far
more interesting, I never developed much interest in TV. When we had the internet, I remember
that the computer was password protected and we were given limited time to surf the web or play
games on the computer. According to Rees (2007), parenting is not just about taking care of the
physical needs of the child and take care of his hunger and look for other body signals. It is also
about establishing a bond of trust and empathy with verbal and non-verbal communication. A
baby develops a strong bond with his mother because of the way she responds to his emotions
through her voice, facial expression, and touch. The baby gets an acceptance of its emotions as
the parents give a meaning to them. Poor emotional regulation in an infant can lead to stress and
express as childhood behavioral difficulties later. As I enjoyed a secure attachment style, I feel
stable and secure about my relationships with others. I have enjoyed fulfilling relationships with
other people in my life, including my friends, at work, and family.
For those looking for ways to improve their attachment security with significant others in
their life, a lot would rely on the kind of parenting style and the kind of attachment they have had
and the psychological impact it has had. Apart from secure, one could have avoidant, anxious,
and anxious-avoidant style attachment during childhood (Vieira, Ávila, & Matos, 2012). These
styles mean that one faces difficulties in maintaining relationships, remain anxious, and carry a
risk of depression. The first step would be to acknowledge those issues and relate them to the
attachment style. One might need counseling to restructure their thought patterns and build a
positive self-image. They should develop an optimistic outlook on life and the sense of security

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in self and the world. Gradually they will develop strong skills and strategies to build
relationships and trust in self and others. It is essential for pediatricians and family physicians to
understand attachment theory and attachment related disorders. The problem is not the mother-
child communication but how the mother interacts with the child. The caregiver should carry a
sufficient sensitivity to fulfill the child’s needs within the span of the child (Reebye, 2007).
As a parent or all those who are entering parenthood, it is essential to provide a “safe
haven” and “secure base” for your children. Research shows that adults with a safer attachment
are more content in the parent-child relationship. They are more sensitive, responsive, and
supportive with their children (Vieira, Ávila, & Matos, 2012). Parents are first and foremost
nurturers of a child. They are his teachers, protectors, and counselors as asserted by Hong, &
Park (2012). How the parents raise and interact with their children will make a difference in what
kind of adults they become. Children have little opportunity to express their feelings and explore
their environment. The onus lies on the parents to give them a nurturing and supporting
environment. It is essential to develop the right kind of attachment style within the family as any
wrong type of attachment will lead to problems in later life. Attachment disorders are the cause
behind several pediatric difficulties such as feeding problems, behavioral difficulties, infant
crying, toileting problems, and other accidents. According to Rees (2007), inadequate childhood
attachment leads to poor physical and psychological health and is a considerable burden for the
society. It can further lead to parenting difficulties, substance abuse, homelessness, temper
problems, and early pregnancy in the youth. The increasing exposure of children to TV, internet,
and social media is a challenge for the parents today who need to restrict the exposure. A lot
relies on the attachment style and how successfully the parents are able to limit those exposures.
The avoidant parents may encourage the exposure if they are insecure about their attachments.

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Relying on television sends the child a message that the adults are aloof and not interested in
them (Nathanson & Manohar, 2012). Thus, the parents need to create the right kind of balance
act in their relationship with their child. A better compression of attachment types in early and
middle youth through mother and father attachments can help explain the complex interactions
and specific adjustments. The kind of parent attachments is linked to hope, depression, and self-
esteem for adolescent groups (Sim & Yow, 2011).
Parenting styles and attachment styles can transfer over generations Hong, & Park, 2012).
Thus, it is essential to break any harmful cycle and promote sensitive care from parents for the
optimal growth and positive development of each child. Attachment-related difficulties in a child
arise due to associated relationships and communication with the parents. The situation is further
complicated by the associated trauma and stress and secondary consequences. Parents own
experiences and foundations for attachment, risk factors, and exposures like drugs, alcohol,
separation, violence, neglect have a role to play (Rees, 2007). The weaker the attachment, the
stronger are the secondary consequences. The child's attachment pattern relates to his present
situation or problems. He might develop toileting and feeding problems to crave attention. His
behavior is a sign if he is experiencing a stable and secure attachment with his parent.
It is essential to start early and understand those issues as recovery can be long and
complex. The child, the parents, and the family may need long term professional support to
rectify the distorted preconceptions of relationships. Dysfunctional childhood attachment can
harm their persons and professional lives in the long term as adults.
References

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Hong, Y. R., & Park, J. S. (2012). Impact of attachment, temperament and parenting on human
development. Korean journal of pediatrics, 55(12).
Nathanson, A. I., & Manohar, U. (2012). Attachment, working models of parenting, and
expectations for using television in childrearing. Family Relations, 61(3), 441-454.
Prior, V., & Glaser, D. (2006). Understanding attachment and attachment disorders: Theory,
evidence and practice. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 1(1), 1– 288.
Rees C. (2007). Childhood attachment. The British journal of general practice: the journal of
the Royal College of General Practitioners, 57(544), 920–922.
Reebye P. (2007). Understanding Attachment & Attachment Disorders: Theory, Evidence, and
Practice. Journal of the Canadian Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 16(4),
184–185.
Sim, T. N., & Yow, A. S. (2011). God attachment, mother attachment, and father attachment in
early and middle adolescence. Journal of Religion and Health, 50(2), 264-278.
Vieira, J. M., Ávila, M., & Matos, P. M. (2012). Attachment and parenting: The mediating role
of work-family balance in portuguese parents of preschool children. Family Relations,
61(1), 31-50.
Veríssimo, M., Santos, A. J., Fernandes, C., Shin, N., & Vaughn, B. E. (2014). Associations
between attachment security and social competence in preschool children. Merrill‐
Palmer Quarterly (1982-), 60(1), 80-99.

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