Understanding Grief: Models, Stages, and Responses

This article discusses the different models and theories associated with grief, including John Bowlby's stages of grief, William J. Worden's tasks for the bereaved, and Stroebe and Schute's dual process model. It also explores the responses to grief at different stages of life, from children to older adults, and provides tips on how to support individuals suffering from grief.

Running head: PSYCHOLOGY
Psychology
Name of the Student
Name of the University
Author Note

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Introduction
The term grief can be defined as the multifaceted response to loss, specifically to the loss
of something or someone who have lost their life. The origin of grief is the bond or affection that
was formed with the deceased person. Several factors are there when it comes to the reason of
grief. While in majority of cases, grief is associated with the death of near ones, it can also be
connected with losses that an individual face throughout his or her life. This may include
unemployment, ill health or end of a relationship. In spite of the fact that the concept of grief is
generally associated with the emotional response to the loss, grief also possess physical,
behavioral, cognitive, spiritual, cultural and philosophical dimensions. When it comes to
bereavement, several times, the term is used as a substitute term of grief. The term bereavement
is referred to the state of loss and grief is defined as the reaction to the loss. In this report, three
models associated with grief will be analyzed and evaluated. Along with this, responses of
individuals at four major stages of life towards grief will also be analyzed in this report.
Discussion
1. Three models and Theories associated with grief
i. John Bowlby’s and Parks stages of grief
Despite the fact that Sigmund Freud is considered to the pioneer of the study of grief, it is
in the last 30 years that research on the topic has gained real prominence. In the year 1961,
John Bowlby, one of the well known psychologists, had provided an explanation for the
common human tendency for developing strong flectional bonds. According to both Bowlby
(1962) and Parkes (1972), grief can be defined as predictable orderly pattern of responses to
decease. The four stages or phases associated with grief include shock and numbness,

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yearning and searching, disorganization and despair and finally reorganization and recovery.
In the first stage the individual suffering from grief feel numb which is considered to be a
self defense mechanism that allows the individual to survive emotionally (Rosenblatt, 2016).
The second stage includes longing for the deceased to return. This stage is characterized by
weeping, anxiety, anger, preoccupation as well as confusion. In the next stage, the grieving
individual desires to stay away from social activities. This stage s characterized by despair,
anger hopelessness and apathy. In the final stage, the grieving individual stated returning to
the normal stage. In this stage, energy levels increase and interest in social activities returns.
The duration of each stage varies from person to person.
ii. William J. Worden’s Tasks for the bereaved
In the year 1982, American psychologist William J. Worden had offered his concept of
four tasks of mourning. The first task includes accepting the reality of the loss. It is highly
crucial for the grieving individual to accept the fact that the deceased person will never
return, so that he or she can proceed through the mourning process. In the second task, the
individual is supposed to work through the pain of grief. It requires the grieved to
acknowledge varied emotions of the pain rather than avoiding them. The third task includes
adjusting in the environment where the deceased is missing. This task may need adopting the
role of the deceased along with the emotional as well as the physiological adjustments
(Neimeyer, 2015). The final task is to find an enduring Connection with the deceased while
embarking on a new life. During this task, an individual keeps on moving forward in life and
new meaningful relationships begin to form.
iii. Stroebe and Schute’s dual process model

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According to the mentioned model of grief, avoiding grief can be both beneficial and
detrimental, depending on the circumstances. Unlike the previous model that centered loss,
this model has expressed both expressing as well as controlling the feeling is crucial. .Grief is
viewed as a dynamic process that involves alteration between loss orientation and restoration
orientation.
2. Responses of grief at the four major stages of life
i. Common challenges faced at the four developmental stages
According to researchers, the reaction of grief varies in each of the developmental stage of
individual lifespan that includes children, adolescents, adults and elderly (Walter & McCoyd,
2015). When it comes to the first developmental stage that is children, the most common
challenge face by children when it comes to grief includes separation anxiety. Since children
lacks analyzing skills like adults, in case of dismiss of their near ones, they fails to understand
the reason behind their absence. As per my opinion, the challenge definitely varies from person
to person. However, in majority of cases, the tasks of grieving follows the same order or path for
every individual. When it comes to adolescence, the major challenges faced by the adolescents
are to accept the reality of the loss. Unlike children, adolescents possess the maturity to
understand that a person who is dead will never return. However, due to lack of experience and
maturity, they often fail to accept the fact and thus may undergo severe depression and confusion
(Kalpakjian et al., 2015). When it comes to adults, one of the major challenges faced by them is
to work with grief in their mind and adjust to the old environment. Adults often need to take the
place of the deceased for maintaining their responsibilities. When it comes to elderly individuals,
the major challenge of grieving for them includes adjusting to a environment after their near ones

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are gone. Since elderly individuals are highly vulnerable, in this stage, social isolation along with
depression is common in elderly individual.
ii. Common grief reactions of the four developmental stages
The grief reaction that is behavior, thoughts and emotions of the grieving people differs from
in stages of lifespan. When a family member dies, the reaction of children differs from that if
the adults. A good number of children are found to think that death is temporary and reversible, a
belief that have been reinforced by cartoon characters. Children of age rage of 5 to 9 years think
more like an adult but often fail to believe the truth. Common behaviors of children of age rage 0
to 2 years includes noticing the absence of the close one between 4 to 7 months, anxious about
separating from parents. Feeding and sleeping difficulties are often faced by them (Attig, 2015).
When it comes to children of age ranging from 2 to 5 years, fears, despair, aggressiveness,
insomnia are some of the common behaviors that are noticed. Regressive behavior like wetting
bed or sucking thumb and taking explanations literally can also been noticed. In this age,
children consider death as reversible. Often self harming attitudes are also noticed since the
thought of being responsible for the death of their loved one comes to their mind. Children off
age range 5 to 11 years finally understand the finality of death. Common behaviors at that stage
includes without sadness, withdrawal and loneliness. Grieved children at this age are prone to get
angry and concentrate properly at schools. They also try to control their emotions and struggles
to express themselves in front of their peers.
When it comes to adolescence, adolescents are often found to suffer from trauma leading to
social isolation and depression. In majority of cases, adolescents are found to experience death

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for the first time. In majority of the cases, teens are dependent on adults both emotionally as well
as financial. A death of a primary support may results into anxiety and worry for the teenagers.
Along with emotional instability, teenagers also go through physical instability due to the loss of
their parents or family members in several ways. Some of the major physical instability includes
change of shoals, loss of financial security, a change in housing or the fear of being orphaned.
As adolescents become more independent, they also may become less comfortable in seeking
support from parents or other adults. According to researcher social isolation as a result of grief
is more common in adolescents than in children. Prolonged social isolation often leads to
depression.
iii. Grief and bereavement is most common during the time of adulthood
The most common and immediate response that follows death of near ones, regardless of
whether or not the loss was anticipated is shock, numbness as well as a sense of disbelief.
Eventually, the numbness turns into intense feeling of separation. The absence of the deceased is
felt everywhere. The home as well as familiar environment demonstrated painful reminders.
There include yearning, pining, and longing for the person who has died. The grieved individuals
feel empty inside. Some of the common behavior of the adults during grieving includes feeling
slowed down, agitation, anxiety, restlessness and increased motor activities (Volkan & Zintl,
2015). Crying along with general tearfulness is highly common.
According to researchers, in older adults, it is highly difficult for elderly people to cope
with grief due to their vulnerability (Poole et al., 2016). Grief and loss possess the capability to
impose a profound effect on older adult by intervening in their day to day activity. Not only are
they coping with the decline and death of family members and close friends, they themselves are

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probably experiencing a variety of "living losses" associated with changes in identity, status,
relationships, lifestyle, independence and energy. The ability to process emotions in order to
cope up with feelings of sorrow, loneliness, anger, confusion as well as despair accompanied by
grief as well as their own morality, differs from person to person. Older adults who possess
efficient communication skills that enable them to communicate their feeling are better at coping
up grief compared to elderly people who are not good at this.
iv. Providing support to individuals suffering from grief
In order to provide support to children suffering from grief it is very crucial for adults to
encourage them to express their feelings. Expressing their emotions will help the children to
open up more and over think the reason behind their grief. Several children’s boo re available
both online and offline. Reading them to children can be good way to start the conversation.
When it comes to adolescents, it is better to communicate with them directly in order to help
them to deal with grief. Their philosophical, logistical as well theological questions should
always be encouraged. In case of parent’s death adults should allow them to discuss family status
and encourage them to talk about their future. When it comes to adults, reaching out to them so
that they can open up is one of the best strategies to help them out (Boss 2016). Their loss should
never be minimized through words. Professional help can also be suggested in case of major
depression. In order to support elderly people, it is highly crucial to prevent them from feeling
alone or social isolated. In order to help older adults, a continuous mental support should be
encored. Help of primary healthcare can also be taken in order to deal with the issue.
v. Change in the understanding of death over lifespan

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The concept of death changes as an individual grows older and elder. With age, maturity and
experience, individual experience change in their perspective associated with death. In this
paragraph, the comparison of the understanding of death throught the 4 major stages o lifespan
that I children, adolescents, adults and older adults will be discussed.
 Concept of death to children:
When it comes to infants, death is found to have no real concepts. However, infants react to
separation from parents. They do not possess the mental maturity to understand the concept of
death. For the toddler, death has very little meaning. He or she may receive the most anxiety
from the emotions of those around him or her (Schapiro et al., 2017). The concept of death is
almost clear to the preschoolers. Deaths of loved ones are often mistaken to be their own mistake
which often leads to anxiety. School-aged children are developing a more realistic understanding
of death. Children of this age are found to be afraid of their own death. Fear of the unknown, loss
of control, and separation from family and friends can be the school-aged child's main sources of
anxiety and fear related to death.
 Concept of death to Adolescents
According to majority of the adolescents, death is permanent, inevitable and universal.
To the adolescents, death is viewed abstractly as well as subjectively. There prevail a strong
egocentrism along with the tendency to think of themselves as immoral. Philosophical curiosity
that includes what is meaning of life? And what is my mission?” comes to existence unlike the
children, adolescents are found to develop the tendency to romanticize death a beautiful as well
as tragic, paradoxically as a gesture or statement that will ensure somehow (Scheff, 2015). Due
to exposure to romantic novels, televisions and movies as well as lack of practical experience,

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adolescents view loss experienced through death is easy to cope up. In order to overcome the
feeling of powerlessness as well as vulnerability, adolescents often get engaged in risk taking
behavior in order to enjoy the thrilling relief off survival.
Adults have clear understanding of the concept of death due to their maturity and
experience. Unlike the teenagers, who view death in a much playful and easy to cope up matter,
adults are aware of the consequence of death of their loved one. Since adulthood involves a huge
amount o responsibilities and associating with individual, a good number of adults are afraid of
death due the consequences that may be faced by people who are dependent on them. Fantasizing
about death and performing risky activities that can be fatal is avoided by adults. The concept of
death becomes less person-centered. Majority of the adults handle grief in a more mature manner
compared to that of the teenagers.
Unlike the above three stages of lifespan, the concept of death is far less fearful to the
older adults (Zucker et al., 2015). Dying in older age mean a different sort of death that include
become frailer both physiologically as well as physically. People who are over 90s are often
found to need support for their daily activities. As a result of this, for older adults death is just a
process that can end their gradual disabilities along with physical and physiological pain. The
attachment with the social activities slowly lessens during this age. Due to their vulnerable
mental as well as physical condition, older adults find it highly difficult to cope up with the death
of loved ones.
Conclusion
From the above discussion, it can be concluded that the perception of death to individuals
at different stages of their lifespan is highly different. However, the stages an individual goes

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through during their grieving period and the process of coping up with the same is more or less
similar in individuals. The challenges faced by individuals to overcome grief are found to quite
different at different stages of lifespan. Finally it can be said that grief is an integral part of
human life and with proper support from family and fiends along with self confidence, the period
of grief can be overcome within a shorter period of time.

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