Self Reflection Essay: Interpersonal Communication

This essay explores the importance of communication skills, self-reflection on interpersonal skills, diagnostic tools used, issues identified, action plan for improvement, and conclusions drawn for enhancing communication effectiveness.

Self Reflection Essay: Interpersonal Communication
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Table of Contents
Introduction......................................................................................................................................3
Essay............................................................................................................................................4
Action Plan.................................................................................................................................10
Conclusion.....................................................................................................................................12
Reference:......................................................................................................................................13
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Introduction
Communication plays a significant role in various aspects of life and is responsible for the
success of an individual. Be it a business or conversation with the college mates, communication
is essential so that proper can be conveyed from one person or individual to another.
Communication is an art of conveying a message to some other person by way of words,
gestures, etc. However, the process of communication is completed when the other person
understands the message properly (Berman, et., al, 2016). For establishing an effective
communication, the person conveying the message must be a good speaker and the person to
whom the message is conveyed must be a good listener. This assignment focuses on my
interpersonal skills which include how my communication skills are. This assignment includes
five diagnostics tools which are related to Communication along with the score obtained under
these diagnostics. Issues faced in regards to communication are also included in this assignment.
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Essay
Based on the information and data obtained from the diagnostic tools, this essay is considered as
the self-reflection of my communication skills and its analysis. Based on the diagnostics tools,
there were some issues which were revealed and these issues are also the part of this essay. This
essay contains theories and concepts of the issues that I faced while communicating and such
theories and concept are the part of the literature review. By self-analysis and assessment with
the help of diagnostics tools and identification of my issues in communication, it has provided
me an understanding of how to deal with my communication issues (Fiske, 2010). Based on the
findings, an action plan is made which reflects the activities which will be adopted for
overcoming the communication issues.
For analysing my interpersonal skills in different situations related to the communication, have
adopted various diagnostics tools. Self Perceived Communication Competence Questionnaire
(SPCC) which provided an insight to the person adopting this tool that the how the person is able
for making an evaluation of his/her competence in relation to the communication under different
communication situations having different problems and which also includes various receivers
(McCroskey, 2015). Another tool used in this self-reflection is Non-verbal Immediacy Scale
which provides an understanding of the behavior of one person by another person in terms of
non-verbal immediacy. This is one of the most updated measures for the self-report in term of
non-verbal immediacy (Manusov (Ed.), 2014). Other tools adopted in self-reflection of my
interpersonal skills are Personal Report of Intercultural Communication Apprehension which
focuses on providing an insight of the behavior of one person of different society or culture
towards a person of another society or culture (Neuliep, 2017). This also includes the variation in
the communication with the person of different culture and how one behaves with them i.e.
whether such person is comfortable or not in having a conversation with the different person.
Another tool adopted under this self-reflection is Talkaholic Scale which helps in measuring the
compulsive behavior of an individual in terms of communication (Worthington & Bodie (Eds.),
2017). This depends upon the nature of the person i.e. whether such person talks too much or
not, whether such person remains quite, etc. The last tool adopted under this is Tolerance for
Disagreement. This tool helps to provide an overview and measure the behavior of one person in
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different situations when some other person doesn’t agree with such person or when there is any
disagreement where one person believes that his/her thought is right and another person
considers it to be wrong (Carr, 2010).
The result and the scores of the diagnostics tools are reliable and accurate and it has provided me
an understanding of my communication style and what issues i have while communicating in
different situations. As per the result of Self Perceived Communication Competence Scale, it
depicts that there is no issues while communicating with my friends, dyad, acquaintance or in
group. However, there as certain issues while talking to strangers, meetings or in public. This
reflection has been made by answering the 12 statements included on this tool which included
talking to the strangers or with friends, in public, etc. However, all the scores are above the High
SPCC which shows higher communication competence with basic communication context and
the receivers i.e. strangers, friends, etc in terms of self reflection (Braithwaite & Schrodt (Eds.),
2014). According to the result of Non-Verbal Immediacy Scale Self Report, the score I got is 103
which lies in between the High and Low score which is different based on the gender of the
person i.e. for a female High score is =>112 and low is <=92 whereas as in males High is =>104
and low is <=83. These scores shows the understanding the behaviour or communicating by way
of gestures or facial expressions (Dwyer, 2012). It is considered that the females are more
nonverbal in comparison with the males or it can also be said that female thinks they are required
to be more immediate in non-verbal communication and the males doesn’t thinks so. As per the
score obtained in Personal Report of Intercultural Communication Apprehension, this depicts the
hesitation or the confidence while talking to the person of any other culture (Quero, 2014). The
score I got in this tool is 14 which states that I have low intercultural communication
apprehension. The score may vary from 14 to 70. Score below 32 means low intercultural
communication apprehension which means that the person or the individual doesn’t have any
problem or issue while interacting with the person of different culture and the score above 52
shows person faces problem while interacting with the person of other culture and score which
lies between the 32-52 shows that such person is unable to communicate the person of other
culture sometimes. According to the result of Talkaholic Scale, the score I obtained under this
tool is 32 which means I am Borderline Talkaholic which means that most of the times such
person is able to control his/her urges to talk but sometime such person finds it difficult to
control the urges to talk or speak even if when they know that it won’t go into their favour.
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Person or individual who have score above 40 are considered as Talkaholic which means they
are unable to control or to speak under all the situations and the person who have score below are
considered as not talkative and are able to control to speak i.e. whether when to speak and when
not to speak (Gilchrist-Petty (Ed.), 2017). The result of the last tool i.e. Tolerance for
disagreement which shows the behaviour of the individual in case of any disagreement with any
other person. It has been stated under this tool that the people having more argumentative nature
or behaviour are able to handle or tolerant more disagreement in comparison with the people
having low argumentative nature as they are unable to tolerant the disagreement and become
aggressive. I have obtained 41 as the score in this tool. As per this tool, the score above 46
depicts high tolerance towards disagreement and score below 32 means low tolerance and low
argumentative (Carr, 2010). If the person obtains score between 32 and 46 then such person is
considered as moderate tolerance for disagreement which means that sometime I am able to deal
with disagreement properly by making valid arguments and sometime I can’t stand
disagreements with my thought.
With the help of diagnostic tools mentioned above, I was able to identify the issues that I have
while communicating. These issues are Talkaholic and tolerance for disagreement as under these
tools I fall under the category of “Moderate” (Temple, et., al, 2018). However, the score I got in
talking to the stranger or public was not as expected but it falls under high-level Self-Perceived
Communication Competence category. It is essential for me to improve in these as it will be
beneficial for me and for my professional career to be argumentative and too tolerant
disagreement more and to control and know when to speak and when to keep quiet (Hays, 2016).
When it comes to tolerating the disagreement, I ignore or avoid talking to the person who
disagrees with me which means that I don’t like people to disagree with me as it is not a suitable
situation for me. Moreover, I like to be in such group who have individual having same beliefs or
agrees with my thoughts (Seyitoglu, et. al., 2015). I like to work alone rather than working in a
team and have arguments with them which depict that I will not be able to work properly in a
team. This will affect my career as in organisations, I have to work in a team and I won’t be able
to do so. Taking into consideration, making a decision in regards to when to communicate is
more crucial than disagreement.
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This will be made clear with the help of an example which happen five-six months ago and
which shows the reflection of Talkaholic. I was employed in an organisation having its business
in Australia. I was working as a secretary there. There was a meeting organised between the
directors of my company and suppliers of some new products. I was given all responsibility for
organising this meeting. After all the presentation were made by the suppliers of the products and
the quoting of price was done, I communicate with the clients for visiting us and that they will be
informed soon whether the organisation would be getting into business with them or not. At this
time, I communicated the deal made by the organisation with some other dealer in which such
dealer was offered more money than the new supplier. This almost cost the organisation the deal
with the new supplier. This made me realize that it is better to decide and understand that how
and when to communicate and what to communicate with different personas in this professional
world no one will allow such behavior in their organisation.
Another example which made me realise that I am not tolerant enough for the disagreement is a
situation which I faced in the same organisation stated in above example. My manager provided
me a task or work and told me a different way to perform it which will lead to the completion of
quickly. However, I knew that this is not the right way to perform such task but in order to avoid
any argument with the manager regarding the way to perform the task through a different way.
Moreover, the task was someone else’s to complete but I completed that task without saying
anything. This is the perfect example of avoiding interpersonal contact or communication with
the manager which may lead to the conflict or dispute me and my manager. This shows my
submissive behavior and I communicated what my manager wanted me to say and complete the
work within the given period of timeframe. Under this situation, I could have argued with the
manager that this is not my work at the first instance and the way of completing the work is not
right. If I was able to present the same with a valid argument and evidence in order to support my
opinion, then there would not dispute between me and my manager.
According to Fekete, et, al. (2014), there are various factors which are to be taken care of while
establishing an effective communication channel between one people to another. These factors
affect the efficiency of the communication which tenders with the message which is conveyed
from one person to another. This destroys the meaning of the message as well as it depicts bad
image before another person (Fekete, et, al., 2014).
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The issue discovered under the Talkaholic Scale is that sometimes I am unable to make decision
regarding making a communication at right time and to the right person and saying the right
things. This tool deals and helps in measuring the compulsive behaviour of the person.
According to the Hargie (2016), this concept gives rise to the compulsive talking or
communication. It can be defined as the way of talking or communicating which is not
acceptable as per the society or the community and which goes beyond the norms of the society.
This also includes that how someone is compulsive communicator and which can be determined
by the way of making communication or interaction with another people and speaking
continuously without stopping or only stopping when another person wants to speak (Hargie,
2016). This is directly linked with the personality of the individual and this includes
assertiveness, self-perceived communication competence, neuroticism and willingness or getting
urges to communicate. It has been stated that such person knows that he/she is very talkative or
are unable to control the urges to talk or it doesn’t bother them as they don’t have any problem in
talking this much. According to the McCroskey (2015), it has been that talkativeness is
considered as an attractive factor in the society of the United States. There, it shows that
communicating more with other is directly linked with the influence and leadership. It is also
mentioned that compulsive communicator must not be confused with those person who just
generally are highly verbal and are amount of their talk varies from others. Compulsive
communicators are those people who speak in huge amount which is not as per the norms of the
society and talking in this much quantity is not beneficial for the person or not in his interest. It
has been found that those who are considered as compulsive communicator such individuals
dominate the conservation made with other person, speaks in great frequency and are less likable
by other person (McCroskey, 2015). It has also been found that such person is more
argumentative and depicts positive attitude towards having an interaction. These people are not
of shy nature or don’t behaviourally shy. It was discovered that there are more than 5% of total
population which is considered as the talkative and have the score above 40 in the Talkaholic
Scale. It has also been identified that it is considered as the ineffective communication when
other party don’t want to get involved in the conversation or doesn’t understand what such
person is saying. The reason behind this is that when such person speaks such things which
another person doesn’t want them to say, then such other person loses interest in having a
conversation. Due to this, such person becomes social unacceptable. It has been identified that
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there are various ways by which the direction of the conversation can be taken away from the
person who is considered as talkative McNair, B. (2017). This can be done by redirecting the
conversation in other direction, leaving the interaction held between them, creation of distraction
may also work, etc.
As per the tool do Talkaholic Scale, I have obtained the score of 32 which means I fall into the
category of Borderline Talkaholic which shows that sometimes I am unable to make a decision
that when to speak and what to speak. This also includes that sometimes I remain quiet when I
know that it would go against me and sometimes I speak when I know that would not be
beneficial for me. Moreover, there are some people who have said that “I am Talkaholic” and I
feel the same that sometimes I speak more than usual and on this, I strongly agree.
Taking into consideration another issue that I have which is tolerance for disagreement. It is
essential for individual to be tolerant enough towards the disagreement so that rationale and valid
argument can be made between two or more individual. According to Burgoon, (2015), this
includes the concept of disagreeing. It is dependent on the person against such person who
disagrees i.e. it depends who is your opponent. If the person having an interaction with another
person supports his thoughts or beliefs with valid and solid evidence, then another person will be
unable to disagree with him/her (Burgoon, 2015). If the person is unable to provide supporting
evidence to his/her thoughts or beliefs, the chances of another person disagreeing would be more.
There are various people with whom a disagreement can be made such as colleagues at the place
of employment or with friends and family members. The factors which are considered while
identifying the influence of the disagreement are the nature or the behaviour of the persons
participating, their position and the style of communication (Guffey & Loewy, 2012). As per
various theories, it is identified that the disagreement and conflict goes hand in hand which
revolves around the interpersonal communication skills of the people. However, it is dependent
on various factors that whether such disagreement converts into a conflict or not. These factors
can be identified as verbal and non-verbal communication, feeling in the communication and
listening. It must be noted that it is necessary that an individual must have good communication
skills in order to make disagreement and to avoid the conflict by providing enough evidence. At
the same time, the person with whom the communication or interaction is made must be good
listener so that proper message can be delivered to such person. For having effective
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communication skills, there are various factors which a person must have such as: preciseness,
argumentativeness, supportiveness, expressiveness, aggressiveness and supportiveness (Grunig,
2013). These are factors which are highly identified in the businesses i.e. organisations and
colleges, etc. The communication style of the principal at the workplace or the style of
communication of the lecturers or the teachers of the educational institutions also influences the
disagreement and the conflict.
As per the result of Tolerance for the Disagreement, it has been identified that such I don’t like
staying or communicating with the people that disagree with me. I would prefer to work alone
rather than having an argument with another person.
Action Plan
The main issue is analysed in the communication skills tolerance for disagreement. I am not able
to tackle this type of situation in the effective manner. For this I have to seek understand the
particular situation from which I am disagree. This will help me a lot in understanding that why
the particular person is having different views as compared to me. I have to look beyond my
triggers. In some of the situation I being triggered by something you get this am impacting
negatively on my communication skills (Çetinkaya, et. al., 2013). Therefore I need to look
beyond my triggers. There is the situation of this agreement from my side in the communication.
In the situation I should look in the similarities for the particular topic on which I am disagreed.
This will help me in becoming tolerant in this situation. If I will be a good listener in this
situation then there might be possibility that further I may be agreed for the particular situation
(Einwiller & Boenigk, 2012). I have to take responsibilities for the different feelings of mine. In
the situation I should focus on feelings. This will help me in overcoming the issue of ineffective
tolerance for disagreement that results in ineffective communication. In this situation
commitment can be made to the particular person to whom there are uncommon views on the
particular topic is being discussed (Henry, et. al., 2018). This will helpful in going to the heart to
the matter of the particular individual. The use of positive language will also be beneficial in
such type of situation.
The issue found in my communication skills is I am weak in the different situation for the
communication. I am unable to communicate effectively in the different situation. For this, I
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have to work on vocabulary (Jorfi & Jorfi, 2012). This will be helpful for me in matching the
vocabulary with the audience to whom I am communicating.
Activity/Month June July August September October November
Looking for similarity techniques in disagrement sitautaion
Good listner
Using Positive language
Vocabulary improvement
Mirroring langauge and gesture of other
Vary tone according to situation
(Figure: Gantt chart)
(Source: Author)
The mirror of the language and gesture of the particular person can also be accomplished by me
in the different situation for dealing with this issue. Varying of the tone can also be accomplished
by me in the different situation (Vlăduțescu, 2014). The tone should be fit for the particular
situation can be adopted by me for dealing with this issue. Addressing the issue with the
subordinate can be accomplished in an effective manner if there is one to one meeting takes
place between me and the particular individual (Vlăduțescu, 2014). This will help in resolving
the issue between us if take place. A review can be taken me before communicating. The
particular thing that I want to convey to whom I am speaking if reviewed well then there will not
be the situation of any issue that can be created at the time of communication.
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Conclusion
From the discussion made above, it is concluded that communication holds an integral part in the
life of the individual and the organisation. Good communication or interpersonal skills ensures
success. There various diagnostic tools which were adopted to identify the issues I had in my
communication and interpersonal skills. Due to these tools, I am unable to overcome the
weaknesses or issues I had. My issues were identified by Tolerance for disagreement and
Talkaholic Scale. The literature review made in the assignment showed clear picture in relation
to the issues I had and how it can be overcome. For improving, an action plan was made which
ensured the success of in improving and developing my communication skills.
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