Revision Procedure for Academic Essays

This assignment details the steps taken during a revision process for an academic essay. It explores how feedback from peers was incorporated, including suggestions to strengthen the thesis statement, develop the discussion with critical analysis, and use more examples. The document also provides examples of peer review comments and the student's responses addressing those points.

Running head: REVISION PROCEDURE
REVISION PROCEDURE
Name of the student
Name of the university
Author note

1REVISION PROCEDURE
1. What did you do in your revision that made your thesis stronger?
The improvements in the introduction, as suggested by Shawn, are being made in order
to make the thesis statement more clear. Moreover, a paragraph summarizing the contents and
the purpose of the discussion is being provided in order to assist the readers for facilitation of the
better understanding of the context that is being discussed. The proper discussion of the context
is necessary for introducing the reader to to the context, which makes the concept clear in the
mind of the reader. Therefore, I have included a paragraph summarizing the discussion and the
major purpose of the analysis. The major changes that are being identified are based on the
critical evaluation of the essays that are missing in my discussion. The understanding of the
essays that are being evaluated by me is basically the summary of the contents of the essays.
However, the paragraph should have included a critical evaluation of the essays, which will be
helping the readers in understanding the points of distinction and the similarities between the
works. Therefore, I included a separate paragraph outlining the different aspects of the
similarities and the distinction that can be found in the essays. It will be helping me to bind the
essay in a strong foundation. On the other hand, Jennifer believes that the discussion of the
essays could have been enhanced with the proper inclusion of examples. Examples help readers
to get a grab over the topic and the concept, which helps in making the discussion more
effective.

2REVISION PROCEDURE
2. Did you use additional examples to develop your points in the body of the essay? List
them.
There are certain examples that were used earlier which went well with the context. The
examples helped in the proper understanding of the context and therefore my peer reviewers
requested for some extra examples. Inclusion of misinterpretations of the language is being made
by me in order to bring in the clarity in the understanding of the context. The major aspects of
the change in the article are being facilitated by the inclusion of varied examples for the better
understanding of the ideas that are being presented in the context. The examples are based on the
understanding of the communicational errors, which is caused through the misinterpretations.
3. List at two additional specific points made in the peer review. What did you do to
address those issues in your revision?
The specific points that are being made by the peer reviewers are slight changes in the
introduction and the context. As for the introduction, the aspects of the change that is being
undertaken by me is based on the importance of making the readers aware of the content that
shall be discussed. The introduction should be more precise and make a summative disclosure of
the contents that are going to be discussed. On the other hand, the major part of the discussion a
critical evaluation of the essays was required to be made, which was not met. Therefore, I took
steps to bring in the necessary changes in the introduction by inserting the summative description
of the discussion that would be undertaken with the purpose of providing a hint to the reader of
the discussion that is going to be held. On the other hand, the discussion on the two articles was
made critical through the proper understanding and differentiation of the articles. It has helped in
the proper understanding of the different attributes of the articles.

3REVISION PROCEDURE
4. What specifically did you say in each of the responses you made to others to help them
revise their work?
First Response:
I have gone through your work. Your introduction was good and engrossing. I believe it
will help the reader in getting themselves attracted to the context you are about to discuss.
However, there is an error you have made which has affected the context. The articles that you
considered for the discussion were simply discussed and no critical evaluation was made. It has
made your writing a general one. Critical evaluation of the context helps in understanding the
various aspects of differentiation and likeness in the articles. Therefore, it would be better if you
can include a paragraph of critical evaluation of the articles that you considered. It will helps you
in making the context more prominent.
Second Response:
I have gone through your article, which was good. Apart from the fact that you used very
less examples to illustrate the ideas, all were just perfect. Therefore, I recommend you to place
examples wherever required in order to facilitate the proper understanding of the concepts.