Reflective Essay on Interpersonal Communication

This reflective essay explores various interpersonal communication skills and their application in real-life situations. It discusses the importance of perception, rapport development, listening skills, assertiveness, verbal and non-verbal communication, cultural diversity, and more.

Running head: INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 1
Reflective Essay on Interpersonal Communication
Name
Institutional Affiliation

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 2
Reflective Essay on Interpersonal Communication
Introduction
Communication is the process through which two people or parties pass on information
with an intended message. It is the act of passing on encoded messages from one group to the
other with the hope of the second party decoding the message, and hence a specific message has
been passed, and they do this using signs, semiotic rules, and symbols that are understood by
both parties. There are various forms of communication, and one of them is interpersonal
communication which often involves face to face communication. The interpersonal
communication model is made up of multiple elements such as the receiver, the medium, the
sender, feedback and, encoding and decoding. Therefore interpersonal communication is the act
of individuals utilizing verbal and nonverbal cues so that set personal and relational objectives
can be achieved (Wood, 2015). Hence this essay will reflect on interpersonal communication
skills while giving examples of the skills in real life situations.
Week Two- Perception and Communication
One interpersonal communication skill that I learned about was perception and
communication. This means an individual can observe the environment where the conversation
is happening and just to suite it. Basically, how we view others or the opinion, we hold of others
effects how we communicate with them, how we understand the message they pass on with their
communication and who we choose to correspond with. Knowing how perception affects
communication only if individuals are aware of the concept of self and self-esteem. By
understanding myself, I will be able to understand what motivate me to view someone in a
certain way, and then evaluate if my perception is warranted or not. By doing this, it will make

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communication better since at times people view people in the wrong way leading to hostility
while communicating when they meant no harm and were misunderstood. One example I utilized
this skill is during choosing team member for a project I undertook. While interviewing a
potential group member, I ensured I was quite observant to see what their emotions were when
asked questions. Then I asked a lot of questions about their background and if they were able to
perform as I expected. Therefore all of this helped me choose a good team since I was able to
build a perception about them. Holding a positive view of people in a group is essential for group
cohesion.
Week Three- Rapport Development
The next interpersonal communication skill I learned about was rapport development.
The most important thing to have or communication between two parties to be successful is a
relationship between the two. Hence rapport development is a way of getting this relationship
whereby rapport means the sense of being connected to an individual when you meet them and
communicate with them and with this comes trusting and liking them, and whose opinions and
views you understand. Therefore, rapport development is described as the process of creating a
pleasant, harmonious and comfy, working relationship between two parties who intend to
communicate. Any form of relationship between two people requires rapport to exist between
them since when there is a rapport between the two parties communication, it will leave a
positive feeling about it (Webb & Barrett, 2014).
An example of a situation that I applied the rapport development skill is when I had an
interview for a part-time job that I used. I am an introvert; hence I was scared about the meeting
as I thought I would freeze up when I was supposed to answer questions asked by the
interviewer. Therefore after building up some courage by reading up on the job description and

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the company so that I would know how to answer. Once I was in the interview room, however, I
got over my jitters, and the interview went well from the get-go as I was dressed similarly to my
interviewer an I saw that they appreciated this and felt we had something in common with them.
Also, I gave all my answers while smiling and politely; hence I built rapport with them. In
assessing my use of development, I developed a relationship with my interviewer which was
evident since she was smiling all through the process and she even recommended some things
for me to build up my experience while in school. I was happy with the use of this skill because
it helped me feel easier and get over my fear of speaking in front of people and I successfully got
the job. One way I could have made it better was by mirroring my interviewer’s body language
and speech tone and pitch since people like sounds and actions that seem familiar to them.
Week Four and Five- Listening Skills.
Another skill is listening skills or active listening as it is sometimes called. Excellent
listening skills are required for efficient communication to happen however most people confuse
when someone hears something which is just the message reaches the person, but listening is
where they internalize the message and decode it to understand. Hence, listening skills are
referred to as the process of an individual hearing a communication being passed on to them,
taking it in decoding the message, understanding it and finally giving feedback. It is an essential
part of communication as without it people would just be talking and with no input, the
conversation will not be able to go on. Some of the benefits of active listening skills include it
helps people avoid having misunderstandings with other people, helps people become good
students and also help understand other people’s point of view. Effective listening happens in
various stages which include; receiving the message, decoding it, recalling it, making a decision
on steps to take and giving feedback (Bodie, 2011).

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An example of a situation where I applied the listening skills I got was during the
interview for my part-time job. Once the interviewer was almost ending, she asked me if I had
any questions about the job description and I asked a question. My interviewer answered the
question, and I actively listened to every explanation that was given to my question, and after she
was finished, I asked to follow up questions until I was satisfied with the answer. I felt that I
executed this skill correctly since the interviewer was impressed by my answers and questions.
She responded that no one had asked her such in-depth questions before as most were general
questions not well-thought ones like mine. I was happy with this skill because it allowed me to
understand everything during the interview and once I got the job, it was easy to transition into
the ob as I knew most of the things even without orientation.
Week Six and Seven- Assertiveness.
The following interpersonal communication skill is assertiveness skills. Individuals have
different styles they use while communicating with others and they are called communication
styles which is the way an individual reacts or responds to other people. One communication
style is assertiveness which is where an individual's personality is confident and quite forceful.
Concerning interpersonal communication assertive communicators are described individuals,
who can fight for other people’s and their rights while remaining positive and calm and avoiding
aggression (Holtgraves, 2013). Confident communicators can pass on messages without getting
their audience angry or getting themselves angry. Therefore, communication is known as being
assertive when there are things such as mutual respect, passing on communications on the needs,
views, attitudes, and feelings that they have in an honest, open, confident and non-threatening
way (Berger, 2014).

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An example of a situation where used assertiveness skills are when I still lived at home
with my mother. She requested that I go home and help her out sort out some of the things that
we had put in storage and arrange them in order. However, due to a planned paid trip, I was to go
on the same day she was suggesting we do there was a conflict of interest. I explained to her my
conflict, and the fact that I had already paid in advance hence could not cancel, but she insisted.
Therefore, I had to assertive with her. I told her that I understood that she needed the help
however I had been stressed lately hence needed the vacation to unwind for a better me and then
I suggested to help her the next week when I was back. Therefore with this, I took care of both of
our needs. I felt this was successful since my mother agreed with my suggestion and encouraged
me to have fun and I too was happy since I got to make myself happy without disappointing my
mother.
Week Eight-Verbal Communication
Verbal communication and the use of language is another interpersonal communication
skill. Most everyday activities require people to verbally communicate using a specific language
so that these activities may go on. Verbal communication is described as the way an individual
deliver their message to the audiences and also how they receive feedback communication. In
communication, language use is quite vital as depending on the use an individual’s opinion,
attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors are influenced. Language is often described as a form of
communication, involving the use of spoken words, writings, sounds, and symbols and it has a
set of universally understood meanings, conventions and rules that govern its use. There are three
types of language communication, and they include; written communication, sign language, and
oral communication (Solomon & Theiss, 2012).

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One example where I used my verbal skills and use of language was when we had group
work for school. We were given a task to complete and hand in during the examination period,
and once we were given the topic, we divided the work according to our strengths. Hence during
the meetings we had, we had to communicate with each other ideas towards complete assigned
tasks. This skill was helpful during group work since we could all understand each other easily
making the group run smoothly. We used terms and language that was appropriate to our given
topic. This skill was handy since the group work was done on time and we got a good grade for
it. I was happy about this, and so was the rest of the group and they admitted that this was the
best group work they had so far had as it ran smoothly. One was to improve this is to learn better
examples to use during discussions so that people can relate to the work and examples and this
can be bettered by developing rapport in the group.
Week Nine- Non-Verbal Skills
Appropriate non-verbal skills is another form of interpersonal communication skill.
According to studies, a huge chunk of everyday communication is nonverbal. When most people
hear communication they focus on what is being said as means of conveying a message; however
all rounded communication involves nonverbal cues in addition to the spoken words. Non-verbal
skills consist of the use of a specific tone or pitch of the voice, facial expressions, gestures, and
body language while communication is happening. These components of nonverbal
communication are used to pass on messages without verbal communication. Communication is
more about how the message is passed back and not what is being said in the message. Hence,
nonverbal communication is used to provide emphasis on what is being said, used in place of
spoken words or verbal communication and to regulate how the conversation flows (Burgoon,
Guerrero & Floyd, 2016).

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One such situation I applied non-verbal skills was during my interview for the part-time
job. One of the skills that employers look for is someone with strong non-verbal skills, and hence
I ensured that all through the interview I maintained eye contact while answering questions. I
also smiled a lot towards the interviewer to show my friendliness, and when I was talking, I used
hand gestures to demonstrate different actions for better understanding. The interviewer's
comments about this after the process was over was that it felt good when I maintained eye
contact as she saw it as respect and all the other nonverbal cues helped explain the conversation
better. One way to improve this is by using it in conjunction with verbal communication use of
language.
Week Ten- Cultural Difference and Diversity in Communication
The following interpersonal communication skill is cultural difference and diversity in
communication. Culture is where a group of people shares a set of beliefs, attitudes, thoughts,
values, rules, and feelings while diversity is whereby a group of people possesses cultures and
other characteristics that differentiate them from other ethnic, cultural or another type of group.
Globally, many businesses have a culturally diverse workforce; hence they have to learn how to
communicate effectively, and they do this by learning about how different and varied cultures
are about communication. Various strategies can be used to ensure the success of intercultural
communication and the include, having flexible behaviors, patience, and tolerance, being
culturally sensitive and aware, the adaption of the appropriate style of communication and
avoidance of judgment of other cultures (Koester & Lustig, 2012).
For example, where I currently live I have neighbors from very diverse cultures; hence I
always run into them. One of them has become a close friend of mine, and we tend to do
everything together, and therefore I learned a lot of things about her culture so that I could not

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offend her. She is an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander, and I was interested to learn about the
local culture. I was fascinating, and once I knew a bit about her culture I was sure to respect her
preferences, and it made our relationship way tighter. The skill was sufficient since she
appreciated my efforts by making a traditional meal for my culture which reminded me of home.
I also felt good as it made me understand other cultures, and also I became culturally sensitive to
others.
Week Eleven – The Use of Silence and Power
The use of silence and power is another interpersonal communication skill. “Not to
communicate is to communicate” is a common phrase with this skill it can be viewed in many
different perspectives. Some of the various perspectives include communicating without using
words which is nonverbal communication, communicating unintentionally, minimal
communication and not doing anything in which silence is seen as a form of communication.
Many businesses are moving away from the strategic communication focus to the strategic
silence as a powerful tool to win disputes (Adler,Rodman & Du Pré, 2016). Silence is an
example of a type of communication that happens between humans and hence when silence is
used strategically during communication as it has the power since silence speaks more than
words. In interpersonal communication, individuals need to understand the meaning of the
different kinds of silence so that there may be no misunderstandings and communication occurs.
Silent communication gives power to individuals to influence the recipient of the
communication, behavior and pass on a message (Acheson, 2009).
An example of the use of silence and power in communication was when I had a
powerpoint presentation I was to do for class. During the presentation, I used pauses during the
performance and also slowed down the pace so that everyone could easily understand it. After

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keywords I would pause as a way of insisting on its importance and so that the audience could
understand it better. The audience we appreciative of the slowed pace and pauses in the
presentation as they were able to ask for clarification where it was needed. I also liked this since
I was able to pass on the information and with the intended impact accurately.
Conclusion
In conclusion, interpersonal communication is essential since we use it day to day to pass
on messages between people. Businesses and other organizations have realized this, and of late
the trend is to hire people who possess the right interpersonal communication skills. The essay
has covered seven interpersonal communication skills and given examples of the skills being
applied. More research should be done on the matter so that individuals can be better
communicators leading to fewer misunderstandings and conflicts. With the knowledge got from
the interpersonal communication skills class I will be able to handle various situations I may face
in my future with ease. From my journal I have learned that I am not as shy as I may think when
I apply the various skills which better my communication. Hence I will try and use these skills in
my everyday life.

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References
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Adler, R. B., Rodman, G. R., & Du Pré, A. (2016). Understanding human communication (Vol.
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Berger, J. (2014). Word of mouth and interpersonal communication: A review and directions for
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